Embarrassed myself

[Newnamenewopenme]

I made a fool of my self at a family party a few weeks back. My Auntie invited me over for a garden breakfast this morning but I’ve since found out my cousins (from a different aunt) are coming too - they are the ones I was embarrassing in front of. I was a loud know it all (not normally like that but had stopped drinking for 6 months before so was out of practice)

Is it acceptable to cancel? I have anxiety issues as it is and this is making me feel hot and sick!

[SurreyHillsGirl]

They won’t care or remember. It’s not like you were dancing naked on the kitchen table or tried to dry hump their husbands 🤷🏻‍♀️

[MyNameIsArthur]

How frequently do you normally see these cousins OP?

[FippertyGibbett]

If it’s making you feel ill, don’t go. You don’t t have to do anything you don’t want to.

[rumblingtumtum]

Op I feel for you! We've all been there!
As pp, go, apologise and make a joke about it. When asked if you want a cup of tea ask for gin instead!

[Newnamenewopenme]

@MyNameIsArthur maybe once a year..... unless we have more than one funeral! None of them really drink though so I don’t feel like they get it. Whenever we do something and we get there they all usually announce they are driving, I’ve always stuck to only a couple when they are there because of them not drinking much but I was so out of practise the other week one was like ten.

[pictish]

So own it. Say “I’m sorry I was such a loud know it all that night. I’ve been embarrassed about it ever since.”

It will be fine. They won’t care.

[HooverWhenTheCoastIsClear]

Jokes are a good sign.
Brazen it out. Honestly I've done it. It's fine.
Go.

[jolokoy]

Just say sorry and acknowledge it and then move on.

Everyone in the whole world has made a tit of themselves at least once. Even non drinkers. Even the most poised and elegant person you've ever met!

The only way out is through.

[LoveBeingAMum555]

Agree you have to go, you will feel awkward for the first few minutes then relieved that no-one is making a fuss. A couple of years ago we went to a family friend's 50th BBQ. I am fairly quiet and reserved and dont normally drink. For some reason that day I got really really drunk, and loud, and thought I needed to be life and soul of the party, I am getting hot and flustered just thinking about it. My teenage kids were horrified.

I can guarantee that most people have done this at some point in their lives. Just brave it, you will be fine.

[Newnamenewopenme]

I’ve got out of bed and had a shower which I think is progress.

I don’t suppose anyone wants to come with me for moral support 🤭 I don’t know how I would explain the stranger I have with me but at least it would be a distraction.

[ineedaholiday123]

OP unless you killed anyone, you need to go.
We've all been there... the horrors are awful but as pp said, it's better to face it!

[ineedaholiday123]

Hah I'll go with you!

[Livebythecoast]

I agree with others. Just go, apologise and move on. I doubt it'll be the first time they've seen someone drunk. The first few minutes might be awkward but then it will be fine.

I got spectacularly pissed at a Christmas works do many years ago and I hadn't been there long . I have very little memory of the evening and had to face them all Monday morning. I honestly considered quitting. It was fine, they took the piss, reminded me what I'd done/said (nothing too bad but still cringeworthy) and we laughed it off. These days I rarely drink so i know I'll never get that way again but I'm sure most of us have done it at some point!

[BurtsBeesKnees]

Head held high, walk in there, laugh, own it and apologise for being a tit and tell them you're not drinking today

[HoneyBee03]

I think this is ideal actually. I've done the same before and wished for a chance to redeem myself in front of them. Not seeing the person again for many years meant it ate away at me! You can go and show them that you're a regular, lovely person who is fun to be around, and quite the opposite of the drunk person they saw.

I agree with making a comment along the lines of "sorry I was so drunk when I saw you last, it's not like me at all!" Then swiftly continue the conversation with something else. You can do it!!

[AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit]

Been there, done that, got the whole fucking wardrobe! I'll be there again too!

[HoneyBee03]

I also think that you might not have been as bad as you think. It always feels that way, I get major beer-fear sometimes!

[MilerVino]

they definitely do remember because they were taking the mick then and there!

So they were teasing you rather than being shocked and horrified? What techniques do you have for dealing with your anxiety? Sounds like they might tease you again and you might be embarrassed again. That's unpleasant but no more than that. I appreciate that with anxiety you won't be thinking it through that rationally.

I agree with pp - own it. Have a few prepared things to say as the preparation may well give you a sense of control. Trot those phrases out if they say anything. And if they think any the worse of you it's on them, and you only see them about once a year anyway.

[oakleaffy]

Just go!

No need to explain yourself...
Heck, who hasn't seen relatives act in unusual ways when they have drunk too much?
Being a ''loud know it all'' is par for the course when booze affects people..You won't be the first, nor the last to have done this...Heck, my Stepmum cam back from a party , in her cups, and began flirting with my DP....and lay on her back like a beetle, legs in the air, waving them.

Next morning she was hung over and mortified.

No biggie.😂

[oakleaffy]

@BurtsBeesKnees

Head held high, walk in there, laugh, own it and apologise for being a tit and tell them you're not drinking today

This! 👍

[MadameMeursault]

If they were taking the mick it sounds like they a) weren’t offended, and b) recognised it was out of character for you. You need to face this OP or you’ll have it hanging over you for ages. Go and apologise. I bet you anything they’ll laugh it off.

[MadameMeursault]

Cancelling now would be much more unforgivable.

[sixthtimelucky]

Also been there. got the tee shirt. All you can do is say what PP have said, 'Sorry I was an obnoxious tit at the party the other week, I hadn't drunk for months and I completely overdid it'. They'll likely laugh it off kindly and if they don't, they are the tits not you so who cares what they think?

[oakleaffy]

@Newnamenewopenme
A Garden Breakfast sounds lovely...and no one will be drinking!

You will feel so much more powerful when you go and face your fear.

I had a thing where I fired off an email in anger {when I first had a computer of my own}....I regretted it at once.

It caused a huge family fallout.....

My brother wanted 'an apology'....but I felt I couldn't give one.


anyway.... a big ''family do''......not going would have been a dreadful insult.

I felt sick, anxious....buit saw my brother, and its was OK.
I approached him on sight, and it was not as bad as I feared.

Cleared the air.
Being in your cups is far more excusable!..Go, enjoy your breakfast party.🙂

[Shoxfordian]

Go and act normally
It'll be fine