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AIBU?

Embarrassed myself

104 replies

Newnamenewopenme · 15/08/2020 07:24

I made a fool of my self at a family party a few weeks back. My Auntie invited me over for a garden breakfast this morning but I’ve since found out my cousins (from a different aunt) are coming too - they are the ones I was embarrassing in front of. I was a loud know it all (not normally like that but had stopped drinking for 6 months before so was out of practice)

Is it acceptable to cancel? I have anxiety issues as it is and this is making me feel hot and sick!

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

208 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
88%
You are NOT being unreasonable
12%
Newnamenewopenme · 17/08/2020 12:34

@JackPaul it was the first time I had a drink in 6 months.... I had a can of cider and 3 glasses of wine over about 4 hours, I don’t think I really need to cool off. If anything I should increase it so I’m not out of practise!

OP posts:
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Angelina82 · 16/08/2020 14:10

We’ve all been there OP but you can’t hide away from these people forever. They already know you were acting out of character because you’d had one too many, but you could reiterate that fact again by apologising for being a drunken pain in the arse when you see them. I’m sure they’ll just laugh it off and everything will be fine.

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JackPaul · 16/08/2020 13:24

See, you did good in pushing yourself and going! But just in general so you dont feel that bad again consider cooling off the drinking for your own well being.

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Sally872 · 16/08/2020 08:56

Great update! Glad you have been reassured.

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CiderJolly · 16/08/2020 07:50

Well done @Newnamenewopenme

You should be proud of yourself, you felt the fear and did it anyway and you didn’t allow your anxiety to control you. That’s cause for celebration- maybe with a cup of tea 😁

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daisychain1620 · 15/08/2020 21:40

Aww I'm so glad your mind has been put to rest. There's nothing worse than 'the fear'.
Imagine if you hadn't gone, you would still be re playing it in your head and really it was nothing. I'm sure you're releaved!

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heartsonacake · 15/08/2020 21:33

The more you confront your fears the more you will realise you’re totally forgettable - and that’s a good thing!

People don’t remember the small things that run around in your head days/weeks/months after the event; they’re only significant to you.

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Newnamenewopenme · 15/08/2020 21:30

Sorry! My phones been playing up so not been able to update. When I went in I said oh don’t worry I’m sober today, then my cousin announced she was really hungover and wasn’t going to come because she had been throwing up. After that my other cousin chipped in that their brother turned up as I left the other week and was sick in the garden and they all ended up having a few.... so I think that removed their memory of me!

Can’t believe I was so worked up. I wouldn’t have gone if you hadn’t all made me feel forced, so thanks!

OP posts:
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daisychain1620 · 15/08/2020 19:57

OP come back and let us know how you got on!
Unless she had a drink or two at breakfast and is currently dancing naked in the aunt's garden......

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heartsonacake · 15/08/2020 19:55

Hiding away from your fears and anxiety will never help you, and just teach your brain it’s okay to bury your head in the sand and avoid scary situations. It’s not; that leads to worsening and recurring anxiety.

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Tunnocks34 · 15/08/2020 19:49

Hope it went ok.

I once got so drunk, and I was an absolute dickhead, basically just cried over my ex, told him I loved him, tried to kiss him (was promptly rejected) then decided to flirt and dance with someone else to make him jealous (I actually remember him eye rolling and laughing) I wish I’d got so drunk I couldn’t remember what I did, but I do and honestly it makes me die inside when I think of it, 14 years on! We’re friends now (he came out as Gay about 3 months later) and he finds it hilarious to remind me of it!

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MyNameIsArthur · 15/08/2020 19:31

Hi OP did you face It?

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daisychain1620 · 15/08/2020 13:27

How did the breakfast go?

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ittooshallpass · 15/08/2020 11:31

I don't see why you have to mention it if they don't 🤷‍♀️

If they do, just laugh it off. You're over thinking it OP. Enjoy your breakfast!

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aprilanne · 15/08/2020 11:17

To be honest as long as you weren't actually slagging of your cousins or there children last time it will be fine .if one said to me hi look I am sorry for being an arse last time my response would be laugh and say christ dont worry we have all had a bit much at one time end off you are human

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Happymum12345 · 15/08/2020 11:15

We all do things like this sometimes. Don’t over think it. Laugh it off & you’ll be fine.

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2bazookas · 15/08/2020 11:06

They've probably forgotten all about it; you're not the centre if the universe.

If you don't go this is going to get in the way of family life for years to come. Or, you can go, face a few moments of embarrassment until you realise nobody else gives a hoot, and put it all behind you.

Its all in your hands.

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chipsandpeas · 15/08/2020 11:05

if i hid everytime i embarassed myself i wouldnt work or see anybody

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katy1213 · 15/08/2020 11:04

Look on the bright side.If you'd been that bad, you wouldn't have been invited. And it's breakfast, so stick to tea/coffee.

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MactheRover · 15/08/2020 10:58

Loads of people have been there and done that. Honestly, nobody cares much about other people's antics.

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maddy68 · 15/08/2020 10:41

Just go. And open with something like." How lovely to see you when I'm sober! After lockdown I hadn't had a drink. It hit me like a sledge hammer ". Laugh
And then ask how they are. And develop the conversation in a different direction. Gets it out of the way straight away.

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Pr1mr0se · 15/08/2020 10:41

GO and when you meet those cousins just say 'I was a bit of a silly/nervous/ sleep deprived / drunk / whatever last time we met, so sorry, I'm not normally like that. So what have you been up to since lockdown/ ended etc OR don't mention it at all and just be sociable. Stay off the booze this time maybe if you're worried about a repeat.

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Ginger1982 · 15/08/2020 10:35

Don't let your anxiety ruin what could be a good day. Take a bit of ribbing (if there is any) and move on!

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SRS29 · 15/08/2020 10:34

@Newnamenewopenme

Bumped into my friend on the way and she said I’m always a bellend so they won’t have noticed - great support there!

I’m outside!! Wish me luck.

Excellent...this made me laugh.....hope it went ok OP!
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StealthNinjaMum · 15/08/2020 10:33

Good luck op. Placemarking, hoping you're able to have a nice time.

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