Aibu to want to leave nursing because people are so fucking rude!!!

[Rabs6]

Iv been nursing for 11 years, worked hard for my nursing degree and am currently studying for my masters. Bare minimum I do about 2hours a week of continuing learning just to keep up to date with what's going on in my field.
Im good at my job and have lots of knowledge.

The problem I have with my job isn't the pay or the hours it's the fact that about 70% of the patients I see or their families are fucking horrible!! At least every day I get spoken to like shit from at least one person I'm trying to help and I'm so sick of it!!
In what other job would you work so hard to have such little respect? And why do so many people feel its OK to use their nurse as an emotional punch bag!!!

The worst is seeing how patients speak to nurses and then when we come in, usually nice as pie. Vile.

You won't be interested to know @gypsywater that I have never been rude to a nurse but when I have asked not to be shouted at, why I have been given inaccurate information, why I have been waiting for two hours in outpatients, when I have asked for my name to be used rather than "lovey" I have been subjected to the tut and the eye roll and at that point, yes, I have said "I am sorry but who do you think you are speaking to/eyerolling" and sadly they don't like it. Once or twice I've been tempted to ask for the gum to be removed when they are speaking to me. Those things represent exceptionally poor standards and sadly when professionalism in the vocation has declined, people will start to react badly.

I haven't seen such poor standards in teaching, banks, shops, the trades and it is a huge concern. It is largely due to the NHS being a monopoly.

My view is that if the op doesn't like her job, then of course she should leave. I wonder if patients at some hospitals are worse than others.

We do appear to have an increasingly large number of aggressive, under-educated, ignorant people around, who, following decades of police and education under-funding, have suffered no ill effects from behaving like c$nts.

They fear no repercussions because there are none.

Fix that, come down hard on anti-social behaviour (TonyBlair tried), fund Sure Start, discourage casual pregnancy by making those girls a better offer, make the baby-dad pay up....

But the reality is that those who could do this don't care because, by and large, they're reasonably well-insulated against the fall-out.

They live in naice areas. They probably play golf with their Consultant! And the patients in the local DGH tend to be 'assertive', not 'aggressive'.

Still a pain in the arse from time to time, tho! 😊

I work in adult social care. Have done for years. Clients are lovely, it’s the families that act like children & cause trouble. Hardly ever the individual who has care needs. They’re lovely to work with.

Prior to that I worked in retail.......never again. The general public are nothing short of horrid. Rude, entitled, expect the world on a plate, speak to you as though you’re a piece of shit on the bottom of their shoe. Never, never again.

@Rabs6 sorry, did not RTFT. I just wanted to say, how sorry I am that you feel this way.
I spent a lot of time in hospital in the last couple of years and the nurses were what got me through it all. They were so kind, dried my tears, made me smile, just generally made it all better.
Please don’t give up doing your amazing job. You literally do save people’s lives. So sorry that so many of us are entitled t**ts.

I don't seem to have much issue the vast vast majority are nice - but am on community

It's interesting the balance of people who work in public facing roles who agree how bad it is, and actually most of you sound like you have it alot worse then me, and the people who think it's my fault people are rude to me as I'm obviously shit (sorry shouldn't swear, as that shows how uneducated I am) at my job. (BTW I'm good enough that my employer is funding my masters so that means I'm actually quite good.)
I do admit that 80%was an over exaggeration, but I was dwelling on a bad experience last night which was clouding my view. Which is the problem really, I can see lots of lovely people but the few that are gunning for a fight before iv even said hello ruin it as they stick with me.
I suppose its a chicken and egg situation though-are they rude because they've had bad experiences, or have they had bad experiences because they are always rude?
Are rude/inpatient nurses like that because they've suffered years of abusive patients? Iv never met a student nurse who was rude or dismissive to patients...
I actually moved from A&E a few years ago as I didn't like the staff dynamic /bullying culture and now work in the community. Maybe I feel the rudeness more as its aimed directly at me rather then as part of my 'team'?

I know I’m just one voice amongst a chorus but obviously YANBU. I’m a vet and it’s been terrible recently. My colleagues and I work so hard everyday making sure everyone’s animals are looked after. I’m home late every night at the moment we are so busy and I’m missing time with DS. I get pretty much no thanks, just complaints, nasty emails, a one star Google review, people refusing to pay, people accusing me of not knowing what I’m doing, someone physically threatening me, and people accusing me of not caring about animals (?!?!!). I’ve been a vet for 11 years and I’ve never seen it like this before. It’s too much.

I entirely agree miljea. DD went to a supposedly outstanding state school for two years. There were half a dozen girls who disrupted every lesson, swore at teachers, bullied, created fear, beat up a child, and threatened acts of pyromania. There was excuse after excuse from the head about how allowances had to be made for them. It was shameless and will have repercussions in wider society.

DD left for the independent sector at the end of Yr 8. There is a shameless rot at the heart of society but it has been engendered by years of low expectations.

@peanutbutterandfluff. Thank you for your post. It prompted me to give my vet a 5 star review. I wish I could do that for my GP and local hospital.

@OhTheRoses that will mean so much to them, thank you!

Yes I've never been rude to a HCP either. I've had them be rude to me though, and also received shockingly bad medical treatment which bothered me more than the rudeness, because of the effects and long term repercussions. And even when the care was ok, the waiting times and facilities were awful. So I guess I can understand why people are impolite when faced with a health service like ours.

peanutbutter

My vets were great when we had to have our last cat pts (aggressive lymphoma) and we were devastated!

The current cats are having their vaccinations soon - I might leave a review, as the vets are very good with one cat, who has to have divided doses!

If you end up with a poor working culture, where there is bullying, gossiping and general hostility at the workplace, it’ll trickle down and permeate throughout. If the seniors are openly bitching about others, this attitude will permeate all the way through and it makes for a horrible place to work. I can imagine that if this is a place that serves the general public, they will get to feel it too. Add in time pressures and financial constraints and it’ll be even worse.

This is why it’s so important to have good leaders who show integrity.

I believe the key is to be empathic. I see those signs all the time, about not abusing staff. then you shove people in a waiting room for hours with no help or updates.

The NHS sets vulnerable people up to fail. Stick them in a queue. Ignore them. Talk down to them.

I hide my status in hospitals until I see failure. I see it all the time. I also see the lies and obfuscations.

For example, you were all clapping a service which on the whole was enjoying a huge breather. And now you are campaigning for a pay increase for the entire NHS - the vast majority of whom have been doing less work than ever since March.

OP, accept it isn't personal, or pack it in. Same as the rest of us

Huge breather
Are you having a laugh

"Huge breather"

Ah you have to laugh @gypsywater or you'd cry. I think a lot of people have no idea what it's been like in hospitals atm, the vast majority of staff have obviously been sat around on their lazy and rude arses, eating free doughnuts and colouring in rainbows .

I have found most of the nurses I have to deal with to be difficult, obtuse, rude, threatening and generally not the type of people my parents would have liked me to be friends with (when my parents had a say over what I did).
One nurse I know has the most foul language of anyone I know and that goes for all types of people in all types of jobs. I have never heard our bin men swear at all but this nurse uses the most foul language all the time. I and a vulnerable adult were threatened by a Ward Sister, she was so wrong.
Our NHS hospitals have up signs that the public and patients must not abuse the nurses. The nurses should not be abusing the patients or their families. As a PP said it should go both ways.

I'm not a nurse just a hca in a nursing home but..
I don't mind the patient's so much, often their bad behaviour can be explained if not excused but I bloody loathe the relatives sometimes. It's back breaking work and for some of them even our very best isn't good enough (and they think they know better than the actual medics. One relative kicked up a huge stink because the Dr wanted to put the patient on a puree diet after they'd lost the ability to swallow properly following a stroke so that they didn't choke to death ffs).

I've recently left nursing. The public are nuts now.

@gypsywater

The worst is seeing how patients speak to nurses and then when we come in, usually nice as pie. Vile.

Happens all the time.

I think the general public (some of them at least) seem to think we have control over where doctors/surgeons/whoever are and what they are doing at all times, and we can wave our magic wands to make them appear at every demand. Obviously we deliberately keep them away from seeing patients just to piss them off.

I’m an NHS nurse too and I must work in a bubble because 99% of patients are lovely! So appreciative, supportive, kind and grateful.
You can get the odd fly, of course, but that is human nature.
I adore my job and feel so lucky every day that I do what I do.
I also think all the other nurses and lovely too. During Covid we were sent to ICU for a few weeks each, and staff were redeployed to our area also. And everyone was very kind and helpful.
I must wear rose tinted glasses.

I really think the rudeness has escalated since the recession in 2008. Jobs are no longer secure and salaries and bonuses have stagnated. University no longer means a safe, middle class life. Property ownership is unreachable for most young people. Why bother if there's nothing to work towards?

There's also the Trump influence and politics in general. We're all polarised based on our Brexit votes. Politicians are terrified of saying the wrong thing, so say nothing at all. Women, minorities, the disabled, are all exhausted from having to fight for the same basic human rights over and over again. It's the perfect storm of shit.

I started my nursing training years ago after working in health care for many years, and that was one of the reasons I decided to quit, and I haven't regretted it for a second. I wouldn't want to do any people facing role again as I hate being spoken to rudely, and I haven't got the patience to just smile and accept it.

Been a nurse for 33 years and mainly worked in very specialist areas( dialysis / oncology) ...currently work in a great team and can truthfully say I've never had a situation with patients where I've felt intimidated, but I have the advantage of being able to build up a good relationship with patient and families
however often find it's the relatives of patients who are rude and demanding ...and since open visiting became a thing , relatives seem to think they can snap their fingers and you'll come running . Definitely think there are some extremely entitled public out there I'm thinking accident and emergency department especially hats off to anyone who works there!
However on another note, my Dd has been working in supermarket since lockdown and she says the rudeness of some shoppers is disgusting...especially when she was trying to reinforce social distancing guidance and they just swore at her for doing her job