To think the comment was completely unnecessary and frankly nasty?

[CrooksAndNannies]

A friend's DD has just graduated.

She put a proud mom FB post up with details of this and encouragement for fantastic new grad role.

The FB post received over 100 positive responses.

Her DSIL put, and I quote "Congrats DNeice. Now. Welcome to the real world of commerce, in house politics, back stabbing and two faced 'friends'. I'd just stay on for another degree. 👏👏"

This was a couple of weeks ago, and friend is still rightly fuming, and feels it will affect all future interactions with her DSIL.

AIBU to think this reflects badly on the author?

Don’t understand the anger at all. It’s fairly common to say versions of ‘welcome to the real world’ when students finish their courses isn’t it?

I think it is quite funny, because it is 100% truth. It all depends on the recipient, I bet the daughter has no issues and the issue is previous with the Six, and the SIL would have probably said congratulations in the wrong tone had it been left at that.

Nothing D about that SIL! What a nasty comment.

It sounds like typical sarcastic British humour to me, and it is quite true. I think you and friend are over-reacting to it to be honest. If I were the graduate I'd laugh with a knowing smile. I honestly don't get why anyone would be fuming, let alone still fuming?

I think sometimes Brit/Aussie/NZ humour seems rude and abrasive to Americans (I presume you are American due to the 'mom') but it's usually meant in playful jest. That type of humour is something most of the people I know would have. It doesn't mean anything more, and is not meant as an insult, honestly.

Talk about pissing on her chips!

There’s a time and space for sarcasm and cynicism. Telling a young person “congrats on your graduation! The world of work is going to destroy you!” is not it.

I wouldn't post that kind of thing on a graduation congratulations post but she's not wrong is she?

Well it made me grin, because it's the truth. The DSIL obviously meant it as a joke and has a better sense of humour than your friend, clearly! To be fuming it about it weeks later, as well as saying it'll affect future interactions, is just bonkers. Does your friend have previous gripes with the DSIL?

@Areyouquitesure

Also think it's a joke

Exactly the sort of shite I'd write too

Same!

I can’t believe your friend is “fuming”...now that’s the real joke here.

I think your reaction (and the friend's reaction) is waaaaay over the top tbh. Fuming after two weeks?

It's a slightly heavy-handed and slightly dark joke but not offensive to anyone in particular and designed to make the DD feel part of the club. I wouldn't give it a second thought.

And if the DD is that offended by a well-meaning joke like that she won't last long in the workplace!

I think your friend needs to get over it. It maybe wasn’t the most encouraging comment but hardly worth ‘fuming’ about weeks later.
Are you and your friend given to nursing grudges over fuck all then?

I also agree it’s the sort of dark observation and humour I have.

Fume away.

Kind of nice not to read the usual bland "Congrats!" comment.

Er, it's just one person's grumpy outburst opinion. Easy to ignore IMHO.

I think her reaction probably says more about how she feels towards her SIL than the contents of the actual post. It's not like she didn't lead with congratulations, and she's not wrong about the world of work.

Well, I'd say, for starters that it's between the Aunt & the Niece and your 'friend' needs to remove her beak!!

It's the sort of thing I'd say to my youngest niece & she'd appreciate something other than the saccharine congratulations whereas I'd stick with the flowery stuff for the eldest, because that's what she appreciates

Whatever, it's between the people actually involved, not nosy beak! & it's ridiculous to be upset/angry this much later!

OP, your friend sounds like my mother!

Still fuming about non-issues that happened 20 years ago.

Just a wry, cynical joke, OP. I wouldn't be offended. I can see it might be a bit discouraging if DD takes it seriously, so do tell her it's just a joke, or a friendly warning,. Don't encourage her to be over-sensitive.

I think its just a bizarre joke. Nothing for the friend to fume about a week later but still. A very comment. Lile my friend last hear had a baby and her mother put it on fb as in aw my first grandchild and her dms friends all commented congrats etc etc amd one person wrote congrats on the baby and my commiserations to her poor vagina... Wtf. Some people think they are funny and it just falls flat.

The very idea of it affecting all future relations! Drama llama, much?!

It’s a joke

@Haworthia

Talk about pissing on her chips!

There’s a time and space for sarcasm and cynicism. Telling a young person “congrats on your graduation! The world of work is going to destroy you!” is not it.

This.

Maybe fuming two weeks later is a slight over reaction, but I can understand why she was cross.

I think it’s an attempt at banter that backfired.

They used to say people where I worked were so confused they stabbed each other in the front.

It depends on the SIL, surely. If she has form for being a bitch, I'd see it as a other example. If she's just a bit socially clueless, it's another matter.