To think anyone TTC now is mad?

[absolutelybloodyanonymous]

Given the GDP fall-economy disaster, rising unemployment, coronavirus, does it seem bloody mad to be TTC now?

I’ve got mates and family who are TTC or already upduffed and it seems absolutely mad to me. Why does RIGHT NOW feel like a good time to TTC? AIBU?

(Nc for this!)

I'm not TTC currently.

But clearly you've not suffered infertility/pregnancy loss.

Because once your heart feels the pain of those nothing will stop you doing whatever you can to get pregnant and heal it.

So big love it anyone here in that boat. I don't think you're mad to TTC.

And OP - YABVU

It’s hardly boasting if you asked. You suggested it’s madness to TTC due to the current financial climate. People responded saying that they are not impacted by it so are continuing to TTC. I’m not sure what kind of response you were hoping for.

Personally I won't be trying right now. However everyone has different circumstances.

YABU

I don't think you can put a blanket statement on it, not everyone is in a difficult situation due to the economy. On the contrary, it might be absolutely the right time for some couples.

Also there are women who may feel that they don't have time to wait & see how it pans out, their age may be a strong factor in not wanting to wait, never mind what's going on in the economy

I think if someone started trying for a baby now when their financial situation wasn't secure that would probably be a bit foolish but then the desire for a family can be very strong and we could be living with CV for years. Some couples would lose their chance of being parents which would be devastating. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to be honest.

It's also worth noting that lots and lots of people are and will never be very financially secure and many of them have children having made exactly that calculation, that waiting for financial stability will mean never having children.

You say you would love another.

Try and remember what it’s like for those of us still trying to have one.

100% this. Not saying secondary infertility isnt hard but some of us are desperate for just one chance to become a mother. We dont need people anyone especially not people who already have kids telling us we sre mad and shouldnt ttc until they deem the world acceptable enough.

YABU.
It's their personal choice.

Seeing as it took around 5 years for the economy to recover after the 2008 recession and this one is likely to take even longer time is not on my side. If I wait that long it will be too late. I'm sure lots of women are in the same position.

@TheMarshGirl

Ive been on this site for a couple years and felt there was topics i didnt have much of a right to comment too much on, having not had any children yet. I could still enjoy the site as some great advice, debates and interesting conversations on here. But for me to bang on about being child free by choice would have been incredibly crass and inappropriate.
By Spring next year il be able to join in on more topics, all being well

@TheMarshGirl you’re right, she is 🤣 mumsnet is a weird place to be on a crusade against having children. I know plenty of people on here don’t have kids and that’s great, but it’s a weird site to use if your primary message is that people should be childless.

I'm not ttc but if I wanted to I still would be regardless of covid. Our life hasn't changed at all, well actually DH earns more now than pre covid. I'm sure age is a big factor for others as well as age gaps between siblings etc.

So sorry to hear about your troubles conceiving @absolutelybloodyanonymous

Been TTC for about 2 years and starting IVF soon. I've been wondering some of the same things as you recently but you know, I think you just need to be positive.

If either of us are fortunate enough to get pregnant, well its is always a bit of a lottery isn't it? The kid might get ill, partner could leave, you might turn out to be a bad parent... anything could happen and that's before the big whole scray world even comes into it. It's terrifying if you think about it too much.

Maybe having hope in the future is important if you really want to bring another life into the world. And for me, well, I'm an optimist. Times get hard, things can get scary but I ultimately believe there is a future worth bringing another person into the world for.

So - while job security, age, etc come into it for sure - that's also why I'm still very much TTCing during a pandemic.

[quote TheAquaticDuchess]@TheMarshGirl you’re right, she is 🤣 mumsnet is a weird place to be on a crusade against having children. I know plenty of people on here don’t have kids and that’s great, but it’s a weird site to use if your primary message is that people should be childless.[/quote]
Yep, this^^! All of it.

You can’t organise your fertility around the GDP. I had my first child in 1992 and the next in 1995, both very difficult times for the economy. For many years our house was in negative equity and once we’d paid our (15% pa) mortgage every month money was very tight. D.C. had second hand clothes, toys etc. When D.C. 2 was 6 months old DH was made redundant.

We got by. As long as you have a roof over your head and food and fuel, all the rest is just extras.

There is never a perfect time to start a family. There is always some crisis going on. If it’s not an economic recession, it’s a war, or a nuclear bomb, or terrorism, or a pandemic.

YABU and judgemental. You have no clue of other people’s circumstances and have no right to call people mad. MYOFB

I can kind of see the OPs point, a pandemic is a new experience for a lot of us & we are not out of it. Job security is important but my fear would be potential civil unrest. This is unlike the 08 recession where unemployment was not a huge issue. Arguably it took 10 yrs for us to recover from that & wage stagnation was a legacy. So the future looks a little bleak.
However there are lots of valid reasons why people would still choose to get pregnant

We're TTC OP, because I'm nearly 37, DP is 39, and we can't afford to wait a year, or two years, or five years until Covid has 'gone away'.

I could lose my job any day, I'm in an industry hugely affected by the pandemic, but DP is as secure as anyone can be, and we have a flat with equity and savings. Why should we wait?

If anything lockdown and my big drop in income has proved to us that we can manage on much less than we thought the 'ideal' income was, and encouraged us to take the gamble.

I miscarried a few weeks ago. Trying to get pregnant again is the only thing keeping me going. Have my first

I’d get your head out of other people’s uteruses if I were you.

I think you need to broaden your mind and think of the many many reasons why some couples have to keep trying now, pandemic or not. And I mean - there are so many.

I had a frozen IVF cycle in January, our last embryo. It worked and we were over the moon. We had to make the heartbreaking choice to tfmr at 25+6 weeks for multiple severe abnormalities in multiple body systems and I have birth to my sleeping son in July. I also had a miscarriage last year after a frozen IVF cycle. There's only three things on my mind now, number one my poor sweet little baby and all the pain of losing him and missing him, number 2 my older living son, the only reason I'm still breathing and doing my best to remain functional for him. Number 3 finding the money for another fresh IVF cycle and preparing my body to increase egg quality as best as I can. I have no idea if we will be able to get the money it will have to be done on loans and credit cards, we have secure recession and covid proof jobs. It's not replacing my son nothing can bring him back and make him healthy. I am so so desperate to complete my family, I am out to turn 35, have low AMH and only one ovary, chances of success are low, I cannot afford to wait longer than necessary for my body to recover from the stillbirth of my son. Time is against us. My main fear is that covid will shut all the infertility clinics down again and it will happen whilst we are part way through a cycle taking away our last chance, I doubt the clinics refund the costs of the treatment and the medication definitely won't be refunded if the cycle gets cancelled due to covid.

We are ttc #1 because I am 38 and we don't have time to wait. Also I think wfh makes it an excellent time to do so as we are both happier and less stressed/tired without a commute and get to eat far healthier home cooked food and take long walks each day. Not everyone is the same so YABU.

I think OP is getting a hard time here. Yes, this is a parenting site, as a PP pointed out, but being a parent includes looking out for your future DC's best interests (as well as those of current DC, of course). For me, I feel the way OP does about the climate emergency, massively guilty about my DC's future in a heating world with rising oceans, collapsing weather systems, shrinking available landmass to an ever increasing global population, salination of fresh water and failing crops. If I had known 10 years ago what is common knowledge now I would like to think I would have had the strength of character never to have started a family. Chances are I will now have to witness my own DC having no choice but to remain 'childfree by choice' like Linsey (sp?) upthread, as by the time 2040 comes around, the last thing on people's kids' minds will be grade inflation.
OP, I can see where you're coming from and I don't think you're goady, just seeing a larger, more objective picture.