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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think anyone TTC now is mad?

349 replies

absolutelybloodyanonymous · 13/08/2020 21:12

Given the GDP fall-economy disaster, rising unemployment, coronavirus, does it seem bloody mad to be TTC now?

I’ve got mates and family who are TTC or already upduffed and it seems absolutely mad to me. Why does RIGHT NOW feel like a good time to TTC? AIBU?

(Nc for this!)

OP posts:
Parkandride · 13/08/2020 22:10

Because ivf was stopped once during the pandemic and I worry it could happen again, plus it's an easy thing to slash funding for. Fairly secure jobs and savings. Not getting younger. I'm sure if it doesn't work I can forget the misery by listening to your wise words OP Hmm

heartsonacake · 13/08/2020 22:11

YABU. There’s never a perfect time to TTC, and lots of people are unaffected financially and employment wise by Covid.

lynsey91 · 13/08/2020 22:11

I can't believe any sane person would think getting pregnant now is a good idea.

None of us know what is going to happen with the virus do we? It's pretty selfish really to bring a child into such an uncertain world.

Just in case you need to know, me and DH are childfree by choice. An overpopulated and pretty messed up world only likely to get worse with climate change, food and water shortages etc certainly does not need more humans added

AliceinBunnyland · 13/08/2020 22:12

You don't know others's situations and everyone has reasons for the decisions they make.

For someone who has lost a baby, had recurrent miscarriages, fertility issue or otherwise worried about their age and how much "time" they have it can be hard to wait.

TheMarshGirl · 13/08/2020 22:12

I'm not pregnant or TTC, but this op is Hmm. I don't have much to add that pps haven't already covered tbh, but YABU op. Have a biccie love, it might shut you up, which would be a very good thing Biscuit.

BasalGanglia · 13/08/2020 22:14

Mid 30's trying for our first with a history of pregnancy loss. Not got the luxury of time to wait!

seven201 · 13/08/2020 22:15

I've been ttc for over 2.5 years now and am getting old. I'm also doing IVF, I had a cycle cancelled part way through when lockdown started. I'm not waiting.

Belle1983 · 13/08/2020 22:17

I got pregnant in June.
At 36 (now 37) I wasn't going to leave it till covid is over. Who knows when things will be fully back to normal.
No one knows how long it will take TTC anyway, I was told by medical professionals to get going in case I needed interventions.

Life has to go on!

Hardbackwriter · 13/08/2020 22:19

@lynsey91

I can't believe any sane person would think getting pregnant now is a good idea.

None of us know what is going to happen with the virus do we? It's pretty selfish really to bring a child into such an uncertain world.

Just in case you need to know, me and DH are childfree by choice. An overpopulated and pretty messed up world only likely to get worse with climate change, food and water shortages etc certainly does not need more humans added

Again, it's really, really easy to declare you would self-sacrificingly give up something you don't actually want.
Sparklesocks · 13/08/2020 22:19

You don’t know people’s backgrounds or circumstances. It’s not like there have never been babies born during times of uncertainty before. Seems a bit overly simplistic to make such a sweeping statement.

wigglerose · 13/08/2020 22:19

I'm pregnant, job is secure (we're hiring more people in fact), as is my husband's job. I'm 36, he's 37 and we're not getting any younger.

Realladymarmalade · 13/08/2020 22:19

Each to their own ! Life has to carry on.
HAving got pregnant in December, I can safely say that if we hadn't been successful then I would have been hesitant a couple of months later. Part age , part COVID . But I am already blessed with 2dc..easy for me to have the luxury of choice. Many of the mums to be who are older on my thread have ttc for years.
I do get angsty about potential DP redundancy but I am covid secure in my career at least.
And I am excited about this little bundle of joy lighting up a dark and miserable year (and hideous pregnancy).

Greenbks · 13/08/2020 22:20

@lynsey91 stop judging people’s life choices, you’re either judged for choosing to be childless and ‘lonely’ so you should know better or you’re not judged and ppl respect your decision so you should grant others the same from that high throne you’re sitting on

Belle1983 · 13/08/2020 22:20

Surely 'children by choice' also means everyone else has the choice to choose parenthood of that's our choice.
I don't think that makes me or any PP selfish @lynsey91.

WaterOffADucksCrack · 13/08/2020 22:21

None of us know what is going to happen with the virus do we? It's pretty selfish really to bring a child into such an uncertain world. I'm not pregnant or ttc but this is idiotic. No one has ever known what is going to happen. The world has always been uncertain. If everyone felt how you do the human race would have died sooooo long ago. There have been pandemics before. People still ttc. There have been world wars before. People still ttc.

I also think you must be quite thick to not realise that not all jobs have been affected by covid 19. Some people can't see outside of their little bubble.

CeibaTree · 13/08/2020 22:21

Why does RIGHT NOW feel like a good time to TTC?

Why does anytime feel like a good time to TTC? If you are in a secure job, you can afford it, and you have no particular health concerns then why not? Why does this bother you so much OP?

AudacityOfHope · 13/08/2020 22:22

I think it's very moving to be honest. Babies are born in Syria and Yemen all the time; it seems unimaginable but given that we each only have one life, would you honestly choose to never have children because of circumstances which are forever changing?

I love that people always have hope that tomorrow will be better.

Italiangreyhound · 13/08/2020 22:22

Yes, you are being unreasonable.

It's a very personal choice. I'd never encourage others to wait. It may well not work out how they plan.

Ginger1982 · 13/08/2020 22:22

Clearly OP you are not in the situation of having to consider trying to conceive. Some of us have fertility problems and intended having one last shot at IVF prior to lockdown. The delay was awful but we are battling on now that clinics have reopened.

You have no idea of people's circumstances and saying 'upduffed' is just cringeworthy.

No wonder you name changed. Not brave enough to post it under your real username? Why is that I wonder? 🙄

AlviesMam · 13/08/2020 22:23

Because some people don't have time to wait around.

Because some people are desperate and will do whatever it takes to have their rainbow.

Because not all people are affected by redundancies and can afford too.

And lastly Because they can & they will.

Belle1983 · 13/08/2020 22:23
  • childfree even. Damn autocorrect!
Ginger1982 · 13/08/2020 22:24

@lynsey91

I can't believe any sane person would think getting pregnant now is a good idea.

None of us know what is going to happen with the virus do we? It's pretty selfish really to bring a child into such an uncertain world.

Just in case you need to know, me and DH are childfree by choice. An overpopulated and pretty messed up world only likely to get worse with climate change, food and water shortages etc certainly does not need more humans added

Are you, aye? 🙄
bee222 · 13/08/2020 22:24

@lynsey91

I can't believe any sane person would think getting pregnant now is a good idea.

None of us know what is going to happen with the virus do we? It's pretty selfish really to bring a child into such an uncertain world.

Just in case you need to know, me and DH are childfree by choice. An overpopulated and pretty messed up world only likely to get worse with climate change, food and water shortages etc certainly does not need more humans added

I can’t believe any “sane” person would post this after all the responses from women talking about baby loss, infant death, infertility and miscarriage.

That’s nice that you chose to remain child free. It’s nice that we live in a society where women can chose how they live their lives and not be forced to go down the baby route if they don’t want to. I don’t judge your choices so maybe you shouldn’t judge mine?

Oh, and I’m perfectly sane thanks 😊

Sorka · 13/08/2020 22:25

@AlviesMam

Because some people don't have time to wait around.

Because some people are desperate and will do whatever it takes to have their rainbow.

Because not all people are affected by redundancies and can afford too.

And lastly Because they can & they will.

This ^^
Dogsgowoofwoof · 13/08/2020 22:25

or already upduffed and it seems absolutely mad to me

So what should those of us who were pregnant before this all kicked off do? Have an abortion of our wanted babies?