That each developmental stage, both easy and difficult, passes. Just as you start to think you have a handle on this parenting lark, that’s when it all changes and you have to learn a whole new raft of skills and strategies. As DC get older, I’m finally learning to listen more than speak.
And when you’re really on the ropes, sleep deprived and running on empty, being a good enough parent really is good enough. When you lower the bar and stop striving for perfection you can start to be a bit kinder to yourself and that can lead to a more relaxed parenting style and happier kids. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that any one single parenting choice will always and forever have an impact on your child. It won’t but being a permanent stress bucket might.
That I’m pants at multi-tasking. Conversely, despite being an introvert who happily avoids confrontation, there is no authority, person or organization that I will not take on if it impacts on the well-being of my children. Parenting is like a superpower -sometimes you can be stronger, fiercer and more persistent than you could ever have imagined. Just don’t be a dick about it and learn not to sweat the small stuff.
You don’t need to be a ‘natural’ at parenting to be a good parent. Sometimes you just need to be able to fake it till you make it (after all those years of enthusiastically joining in making pasta pictures whilst secretly wanting to lay my head on the table in a coma of boredom, I eventually came to enjoy it a bit).
It slightly bemuses me when my teens (very) occasionally comment on the fact that they’ve always had a calm, kind, positive mum - thankfully never realising the roiling mass of desperation, fury, exhaustion and fear of failure that sometimes made up large chunks of my actual experience of parenting. If you’re lucky enough to sometimes be able to carve out small amounts of time for yourself to remind you that you’re a person as well as a parent remember that isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity.