Your OWN understanding of heterosexual sex and conception is fairly dubious too!
So quite honestly being disparaging when you don't understand it yourself is a bit of a cheek!
So you're right there are a lot of people who aren't knowledgable enough and you're one of them.
I had an accidental pregnancy at 18 while on the combined pill and taking it completely properly, none missed, none late, no stomach upsets, no antibiotics, nothing that I would have reasonably expected to have affected the efficacy. But I was having a lot of sex at the time and every method has a failure rate, plus that age is particularly fertile as was the man I was dating at the time - he now has 4 dc with his wife and she fell pregnant quickly each time.
Since then when not actively ttc I've used 2 methods of contraception at all times, 1 hormonal and condoms.
The 2 pregnancies I've had since were both planned.
Out of the people I know very very few have had GENUINELY accidental pregnancies but a good number have had either "accidental" pregnancies due to not understanding conception/contraception properly, and a couple where quite honestly the man didn't know the woman wasn't on the pill! Shocking, disappointing and rare but it DOES happen!
Mostly it's due to people, women mainly not understanding how conception and contraception work.
Not entirely their fault there's so much misinformation and so many myths and I've also found an awful lot of gps/nurses assume that patients are knowledgable without checking with them!
Certainly I had to at one stage point out to dd that diarrhoea can interfere with the pill, no hcp had told her and she had a horrible upset stomach once about 6 months after starting on the pill and ended up bleeding unexpectedly. She couldn't understand why.
The MAP only works if taken at a certain stage in the woman's cycle and even then there's no real "proof" that it works as a pregnancy may not have occurred anyway.
I also knew one poor woman who tried many different methods and kept getting pregnant - inc after her husbands vasectomy and yes after the check up that it had worked. He doubted the paternity on that occasion and was proven wrong it was definitely his child. She was then sterilised herself and that seemed to work...for 2.5 years and then pregnant again! Admittedly different chap by this point but still! Just bonkers!
Men need to be MUCH better at taking responsibility for their own fertility and sexual health.
I "came of age" in terms of age of consent at the height of the "aids crisis" and I personally think a lot of people are VERY complacent about such things now.
I think it's very irresponsible that sexual health isn't being taught in the same way as it was then.
I was also a single mum following split from ex and while it's good that the stigma has been reduced I think it's possibly become too acceptable?
Certainly we need men to take more responsibility for the children they create as at the moment it's STILL women bearing the brunt of the financial, practical and emotional responsibility of child rearing.
That makes it difficult for me to understand why women take the risks they do, we even see posts on here about women considering "trapping" men by stopping hormonal contraception without telling their sexual partner.
While the man should of course take responsibility for his own fertility I can understand the feeling of betrayal.
I think as well as contraception and sexual health the facts of life re child maintenance and the costs of raising a child should also be taught
There also seem to be a lot of medics who don't understand biology given the number of women, particularly on MN, who were 'told by a doctor they were infertile'
@InDeoEstMeaFiducia You're quite right.
While this is possible I've generally found drs tend NOT to talk in definites but patients misunderstand - the onus is still on the drs to be clear but barring certain conditions and surgeries there's really no such thing as INfertility but more reduced fertility. Few people are completely infertile.
"I would certainly have done my research" but people do...or think they do and are misled by misinformation everywhere.
On here I've noticed a significant increase in people advocating the rhythm method claiming that certain apps make it as effective as the pill! Which is utter nonsense frankly!
I've seen at least 3 posts on this thread alone that have mentioned they were breastfeeding - breastfeeding is NOT a contraceptive method!
And that's all WITHOUT the factor of coercion/rape within relationship and even men tampering with contraception which I am also aware of having happened in real life.
There's a dreadful amount of women and girls trapped in situations where they have no choice in the matter.
What surprises me is when people say "i got pregnant 3 times whilst taking the pill". I would have thought after getting pregnant the first time you'd choose a different method of contraception
I would agree with that - after my first unplanned pregnancy I no longer trusted the pill and doubled up, seemed a natural reaction to me.
@LakieLady He is still responsible for his own fertility I honestly couldn't be with a man that didn't parent and support his child no matter the circumstances of conception.
Op - NOBODY is saying you shouldn't take an interest - but you SHOULD lose the smug attitude given:
1 You've little personal experience of hetero sex inc the pressures women are put under by men
2 Your own knowledge on the subject is clearly lacking
3 you've made unnecessarily nasty remarks on the subject
It's possible to discuss without looking down your nose at people when if you weren't a lesbian, based on your own knowledge gaps you'd have likely been one of us! And even if you'd done everything "correctly" you could have had an unplanned pregnancy - and that applies to all the smug people on the thread!
Vasectomy is NOT always reversible, it is explained to men that while it can RARELY be successfully reversed that it should be considered a permanent contraception. Likewise female sterilisation.
You've basically spat the dummy because you were called out on your smug prejudice and started trying to play the "homophobia" card - not on!
Btw I'm speaking as a bisexual woman with many lesbian friends.
A woman who is TRULY passionate about women's rights DOES NOT use an issue central to womanhood to put other women down!
could you please point me in the direction of where I said I would not make the same mistakes? numerous posts where you've said you would "educate yourself better" take more of an interest if it affected you directly etc that's the same implication!
You HAVE been goody and confrontational throughout. You've made several comments admitting you're judgmental towards women who've experienced an unplanned pregnancy or even a scare inc your own friends - well supposedly friends. I very much doubt you'd still have them as friends if they knew what you really thought of them.