My in laws just gifted me scales for my birthday

[Lsquiggles]

It's my birthday and I feel absolutely shit after opening a present from my in laws... Fucking scales.

No matter how hard I've tried with them they've always made it clear they don't like me that much, this is just the lowest blow.

They're meant to come over on Saturday and I don't know how I'm meant to bite my tongue.

Put the scales on top of the wheelie bin. and in view of them when they visit, they will get what you think about them and the scales then.

That's so rude. Gift them the scales back for xmas.

@user1477391263

I wouldn't play any games. I would send back the scales and say "I don't know how to not be offended by this present. Please do not come on Saturday."

Best response.

Brilliant response. I’d leave them in a bag for them outside their front door if they’re local, or if they are still coming hand them the bag as they leave. Unspeakable rude of them!

[quote Lsquiggles]@BrunetteBuns he was as stunned as me but doesn't think they did it in a malicious way [/quote]
There's no unmalicous way

To answer a few questions, it's weight scales... Bog standard ones too so definitely not intended as a nice gift I asked for!

I'm going to tell dh later that they can't come and that he should tell them the gift was insulting, I'm sure they'll say I'm being over dramatic but fuck them

@CooperLooper

Fuck that. Look them dead in the eye and ask them outright why they thought buying scales was an acceptable gift. Don't let them squirm out of it or deflect. Make it painfully obvious to them that you're pissed off and will not accept any offensive, underhand, passive aggressive shit from them ever again from this point onwards.

This.

Forget the feeding them salad or avoiding them. Front up to them, and if they don't apologise profusely and accept they have behaved badly, limit future contact.

Do you want them buying your DD scales when she is a teenager? They have to be called out on this now.

I'd happily go out and leave them to it but my daughter gets upset when they're here because she doesn't know who they are as they hardly see her

Go out by yourself on saturday. Your DH needs to learn how to soothe your DD without you there. Then you need never see your ILs again.

Agree with re-gifting back next birthday/Christmas. Just stick them in the loft or back of cupboard till then. Buy everyone else a low-calorie cookbook from Poundland.

Good for you @Lsquiggles that is definitely the best way to respond , you really don’t want to get involved with any passive aggressive game playing .

Get them a book on manners and etiquette or How To Lose Friends and Alienate People by Toby Young.

What knobs! I’d get them a burial plot for Christmas.

This

Your ILs are evil.

So op. You have 4 months to decide what revenge gifts you can send them for Xmas.
And bloody do it.
Tell dh he needs to decide who needs defending here. A spineless man isn't an attractive one.

Thank you for sending me a gift, however weighing scales are a deeply inappropriate and insensitive gift to send to a mother
It's a deeply inappropriate and insensitive gift to send to ANYONE.

I agree with your 3 options forrest. I'd honestly pick 3 because I wouldn't want my DD around their toxicity. Especially as she gets older, they'll start this shit with her. Let your husband deal with them.

Use it as a base for a humungous birthday cake.

If you didn’t ask for it then it’s definitely rude. I asked for scales and I got some - but I asked for them.

Is there a back story?

It truly is a despicable thing to do and very deliberately nasty.

Could you order a huge bespoke weighing scales chocolate birthday cake to be delivered during their visit and then bang their stupid thoughtless heads together straight into it! No that would be a waste of chocolate.

I agree with PP let them know how offensive their gift is and that you don't want to endure their visit on Saturday. If your dh doesn't do this then you do it as it's the only way.

I think you need to ask yourself what do they bring to your life? Is there anything positive?

Just because someone is a grandparent doesn't mean they have to have a relationship with their grandchild. I had 2 grandmas, one was lovely, the other was cruel and manipulative. I wish my parents had cut the nasty one out of our lives.

I am glad you are telling Dh, he should be putting you first. There can be no good intentions behind the present. If you usually had a a great relationship with them this would just be a weird gift. But it isn't, it is barbed.

If you think they genuinely were being malicious in giving you the scales then don't give them the satisfaction of seeing that you're annoyed/angry/offended. Just say it's a lovely gift and very like the ones you were thinking of buying, gush a bit.

They will be so mortified that the idea behind their gift has backfired but won't be able to show it. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I would not wait until Saturday to cancel this dinner. They have already offended you. Your feelings of anger and rage are your friend right now. They are telling you the truth, that you have been wronged. They will not leave you in peace and you can not leave your husband in peace until it is clear that your boundaries will not be crossed. They shall not be in your house until things are very different. I love the "I don't know how not to be unoffended by your 'gift.' We are canceling dinner on Saturday."

@butterpuffed

Sorry I don’t agree . I would just say to them that their gift was rude and offensive.

I would just call them out every time. Otherwise they just think they can get away with it .

If DH refuses or fails to uninvited them / tell them how insulting they were, I’d leave the house and consider leaving him if this is what they’re like. You need him to be on your side. ATM, he’s not. I’d leave DD with her Dad on Saturday anyway and go somewhere nice for a couple of hours. If they’re there on your return, make it bloody uncomfortable for them. If you’re strong enough, I’d tell them to leave. If not, I’d turn tail, tell DH you’ll be back when his rude parents have gone and leave again. I’d maybe even check into a hotel x

@Lsquiggles

To answer a few questions, it's weight scales... Bog standard ones too so definitely not intended as a nice gift I asked for!

I'm going to tell dh later that they can't come and that he should tell them the gift was insulting, I'm sure they'll say I'm being over dramatic but fuck them

Good call OP. Actions have consequences, fuckers did it for spite.

@butterpuffed your idea is fine if the OP wants to spend the rest of her married life having to put up with this type of behaviour , I assume she doesn’t .

Second thoughts, I’d text them with the ‘I don’t know how not to be offended by your gifts. You are no longer welcome here.’ Then I’d block. If DH wants to see them, that’s up to him, but not in your house

Have you mentioned wanting a new set of scales? - because thats the only way it's not insulting

If your DH is insistent it wasn't insulting did he suggest the gift to them? (because if so your issue is with him not them - but you have an issue with someone)

Oh and happy birthday

I was going to ask if they were fancy smart scales, but as you’ve just said they’re just standard bathroom scales then I agree, they’re nasty bastards. Tell your DH to pass on the message you are insulted and have assumed they are a dig about your weight. Let her tell you why they are not insulting. Bet she can’t.