My in laws just gifted me scales for my birthday

[Lsquiggles]

It's my birthday and I feel absolutely shit after opening a present from my in laws... Fucking scales.

No matter how hard I've tried with them they've always made it clear they don't like me that much, this is just the lowest blow.

They're meant to come over on Saturday and I don't know how I'm meant to bite my tongue.

I don't think being petty or returning hurtful comments in response is ever the answer to stuff like this , albeit mumsnet always seems to advocate it.

If you hadn't mentioned dieting yourself, or to your DP ( who has passed this on) or expressed any interest in them specifically then it simply reflects very poorly on them OP, as everyone already knows.

I would just speak to them about it and say the gift is unwanted/you would like to return it and furthermore it seems rude. Ask them why they gifted it and what the rationale was and see what they actually say and go from there. Shame your DP doesn't seem to side with you if there is a situation where his own family treat you poorly though, but equally I think you should be prepared to speak to them directly about it if you expect him to.

‘I wouldn't play any games. I would send back the scales and say "I don't know how to not be offended by this present. Please do not come on Saturday."

^^ I agree with this, but I’d add on the bottom ‘I will not allow this type of malicious behaviour to occur around my daughter, it would be neglectful of me to bring her up and have her normalising adults disrespecting her or her family.

‘ I'm going to tell dh later that they can't come and that he should tell them the gift was insulting, I'm sure they'll say I'm being over dramatic but fuck them’
^
If they say you were being over dramatic it just proves how toxic they are, it doesn’t matter what they think of your reaction, it’s not their right to have an opinion on that. If it was a genuine gift you’d be absolutely mortified if it caused upset.

Your husband is also actively encouraging them btw- he’s just as bad as them.

No back story as to why the they'd gift me such a rude gift which is why I'm shocked. We've always had a bit of an awkward relationship as we have little in common, which is a shame because my dh is very close to my family but my parents aren't arseholes

I've told my dh to give them the scales back and that I don't want them to buy me gifts anymore.

i'd let them come over on saturday, make the comment yourself that you don't know how not to be offended by their seemingly passive aggressive choice of gift (your DH is bound to beat about the bush and do it wrong) and then bugger off out with your DD leaving the 3 of them to get on with it (you might need to plan in advance where you leave your car for a dignified exit) or stay depending on their reaction/answer. they may be genuinely horrified to see you so upset. provision of any food or drink is obviously dependent on their response, so i'd get it over and done with immediately they arrive.

Do you think dh will speak to them? We are nc with ils due to their attitudes towards us and our dc.
No law says you have to have a relationship with them.

Burial plot 🤣

Uninvited the horrible fuckwits... and go and do something nice... just the 3 of you. Return to sender... with no stamps on. So very rude and insensitive... your husband really needs to back you up this time. Happy Birthday... and enjoy the child your amazingly wonderful body has created. 💐

I wouldn't waste the braincycles on them in terms of responses. Let DH return them, go out on Saturday.

DH needs to learn to manage his daughter when she is whingy as well as smiley. They will cope perfectly well.

I've told my dh to give them the scales back and that I don't want them to buy me gifts anymore.

And if they do come on Saturday then he cleans, buys food, cooks it, and is the hostess with the mostest. You can sit on your fat arse and watch or not - whether you stay around for the day is up to you but don't do anything for these people. If DH doesn't see it as a problem then he can deal with the consequences of you working to rule.

I always find it curious why people come up with strange and convoluted responses to this kind of thing. OP if you are upset, just tell them? That might be tricky but it’s easier to be upfront rather than devise a like for like approach or an indirect aggression.

[quote Lsquiggles]@BrunetteBuns he was as stunned as me but doesn't think they did it in a malicious way [/quote]
Oh he needs to cop right on before you bin him for someone who can see the obvious & he becomes another dad only seeing his kids eow.

That’s the bit that would piss me off the most.

Wait! You're missing a trick here!
Thank them profusely; they're helping you keep track of your weight loss. "Look! Let me show you!" then covertly re-calibrate so that it weighs you about 5kg or whatever you want, less. Then INSIST they try them out, having secretly recalibrated so that they weigh in heavier!

What knobs! I’d get them a burial plot for Christmas.

Ahahaha!

Seriously, there is no ambiguity. If they don't realise how rude that is I think it's your civic duty to educate them. Or rather, DH's. I'd make him take it back and explain to them that saturday is off.

And happy birthday by the way. Don't let the bastards grind you down. That is unforgivably rude though and I would not let it slide. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of devoting anymore of my thoughts today though. Probably get DH to pop over on Friday.

They would the winners of our annual 'worst present (most gracefully received)'!

I like the burial plot suggestion but since the scales are so ordinary, it seems a bit expensive. I might go for £36 marching urns instead (can't work out how to post the tasteful picture but they are at:

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/768678618/ucagco-lided-urns-matching-set-of-2-made?ga_order

Urns! Oh you are grim...😈

Oh oh you can get them a his and hers matching set!

Happy birthday! Sorry about the rubbish gift... 😔

That is awful.

Regift it back at Xmas

I've told my dh to give them the scales back and that I don't want them to buy me gifts anymore.

Good for you. Your DH should be annoyed and very angry at them on your behalf. There’s some very funny suggestions on this thread but I think this is the best thing to do. I would refuse to have anything to do with them and I wouldn’t let them see my child either, you’ve said they’ve made it clear in the past that they don’t like you. People like this don’t deserve your time or access or influence over your child. They’ll still be making it clear they don’t like you in a few years when your child will pick up on it. Fuck that.

Good for you OP. When people take the poss out of you respond by showing them it’s not ok.

Piss!