My in laws just gifted me scales for my birthday

[Lsquiggles]

It's my birthday and I feel absolutely shit after opening a present from my in laws... Fucking scales.

No matter how hard I've tried with them they've always made it clear they don't like me that much, this is just the lowest blow.

They're meant to come over on Saturday and I don't know how I'm meant to bite my tongue.

@ktp100
OP posted this earlier so one can assume body weight scales:

I'm actually so embarrassed. I had a baby a year ago and have natural gained weight, I just can't believe someone would do this sad

Your DH needs to sort this - and also be responsible for preparing any meal etc for them if they visit.

He also needs to deal with a fussy child for a couple of hours because you are not available!

This is the kind of thing I could see some relatives of mine doing and they would honestly believe they were helping. As in, they'd be going around the shops not knowing what to buy, and then see the scales and say to each other: "X's DH mentioned X is feeling really low about her weight... and these would help!" Don't get me wrong, it's a fucking awful gift to get unless you've specifically asked for it, but are you sure it's malicious and not just tactless?

Still like the idea of a burial plot though

@Lsquiggles

I'd happily never see them again as any time spent with them in painful at best but our daughter is their only grandchild so they crop up every month or so to pretend they care

and when shes older and they start projecting weight issues on her - fuck that - either call them out on it or dont let them visit

I feel for you OP, thoughtless at best otherwise downright mean. Have you mentioned anything to them about trying to loose weight or not having scales (clutching at straws here).

When they appear on Saturday, get yourself and baby ready to go out, and just before you go (babe in buggy and out front door, go into the room where they are (with coat etc on) hand over the scales "I don't know how not to be offended by this" and leave. If you can, also say, "now, baby and I have an appointment to see friends" and leave. Firmly.

It won't matter that they don't see their gc this one time.
You don't have to see them ever again, btw. You'll have some lovely Saturday afternoons for tea and cake and shopping.

I remember a poster whose ILs gave her knicker elastic for Christmas one year; so your have a way to go yet.......

Do you have a photo of them OP? Preferably one where they are all dressed up in their Sunday best? I would stick it on the scales so that every time you step on them they get a view which expresses exactly how you feel about them............

And of course accidentally forget to remove the photo next time they visit.

Sorry OP I thought you said the ILs cropped up every month or so - and then that your DC hardly knows them? But YYY to the fact it's a rude present. How else do they show they don't like you?

I would ask your husband to contact them and deal with it. And don't have them over.

Send them a parcel of shit in the post..one that explodes when they open the door. Turd-o-geddon

Oh I thought you meant kitchen scales, this is really, really bad.

If it makes you feel even slightly better, I know someone whose own mother gave her a packet of Ryvita for Christmas, and nothing else.

That woman got cut out of her daughter's life, and I think you should consider doing the same OP. It's easier with parents in law, you just send your DH without you. It's what I did with my in-laws, and they weren't as bad as yours sound.

Try not to give them head space, it's not worth it, you'll only feel more hurt. Try not to give them that power.

Either take back their invite or go out for the day. That is a totally inappropriate gift I don't know what on earth would make them buy it even if you were 50 stone.
Take a stand phone them the bloody cheek. I'd cut them off

I used to make an effort to facilitate a relationship between my DC and the ILs. Over the years they have bothered less and less. My DH doesn't care if we see them and nor do I. Some times people don't deserve to be in your life or your DCs, despite blood relations. Your DC will not be missing out, it is their loss.

I'm thinking about their Christmas present. Should it be a handbook on etiquette, or Sally Magnusson's book about her mother's dementia.
Or how about a nice bottle of all-pupose cleaner?

Go out on Saturday , leave DH at home and take the baby with you. Let him explain why.. Fuck them they are telling you what they think of you so listen.

I would hand them back and say we already have some thank you. Be polite about it. Either she will make a dig in which case you have my full support in knocking her down a peg or 2 or she will feel embarrassed at the situation she caused. I would probably have slapped her myself if she was there in person at the time.

That was a horrible thing to do. Please don't get involved in an exchange of passive agreesive gift giving horrible gifts.

The poster who said text something like "I don't know how not to be offended by that. Please don't come on Saturday" was spot on and it's the advice i would follow.

Don't have guests in your home who don't like you. Why would you entertain someone who dislikes you?

how rude of them-just because shs their only grandchild doesnt give them any rights
tell your dh you dont want them round anymore

Just buy them scales for Christmas/birthday back as “such a good idea to ensure you watch your weight”

I feel so sorry for you. They sound so nasty and rude. I would struggle to make any effort with them moving forward and would be so upset. Nasty people.

Whether this is a malicious gift or not depends very much on the individuals and the relationship. My mum has bought me scales in the past because she thought I would want them - they were better than the set I had. She genuinely thought I'd want/appreciate them and tbh I did because they were handy and I wouldn't have bought them myself.
So it's possible they ILs were not being mean deliberately. That said, it's a tactless present unless you know the recipient wants them.
I wouldn't necessarily cut them off yet, unless they have a habit of buying pointed gifts and are generally rude, in which case you have every right to take yourself away from them. I wouldn't leave my baby with DH unless I was certain he'd not just hand her to the ILs even if she was upset.

This was a really mean thig to do.
But I think you need to laugh (in their face) about it.
A big enthusiastic "Thank you so much for the scales" "that was so thoughtless, oh I mean thoughtful of you, Freudian slip.
Any way I am off for a power walk, see you later"

Leave them, go for a walk, coffee, swim whatever you want.
Get back 2 1/2 hours later.

Do not leave any snacks or food for them.
Fuck them!

I would go no contact, sorry but I could not put up with such hostile spiteful behaviour. Of course they intended to offend, no one buys anyone scales as a gift.

OP, I will tell you what I would do given it is likely they will be around from time to time.
Tell them on Saturday, be confident and matter of fact:
' It is quite obvious you are trying to tell me I have gained weight since the baby. Giving me the scales as a birthday present is bluntly rude and quite bad taste. Are you trying to provoke a conflict?'
It is highly likely they will try to assure you they didn't mean any of that and they are just trying to help. Tell them you are perfectly aware it is not the case and would like them to take the scales back and apologise there and then. Be polite, don't raise your voice.
If they don't apologise or try to be rude ask them to leave. If you DH wants to continue relationship with his parents he can do it elsewhere

I would take it with you next time and say you have decided to regift it to MIL as you feel she needs them more than you do, bloody witch.