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AIBU?

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Original poster

My in laws just gifted me scales for my birthday

422 replies

Lsquiggles · 11/08/2020 10:51

It's my birthday and I feel absolutely shit after opening a present from my in laws... Fucking scales.

No matter how hard I've tried with them they've always made it clear they don't like me that much, this is just the lowest blow.

They're meant to come over on Saturday and I don't know how I'm meant to bite my tongue.

OP posts:
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Boireannachlaidir · 11/08/2020 11:12

How rude of them. They've clearly got absolutely no manners whatsoever. I agree it's time for the gloves to come off and fight fire with fire.

I wouldn't have a blazing row over it. I'd make the most frugal plain food for them that I could all the while smiling sweetly and saying how much they must all be enjoying a plate of boiled cabbage and parsnips for Sunday dinner!

Floralnomad · 11/08/2020 11:13

I’m not sure I could move past this in a civil manner . I will say that I had a similar thing happen many years ago and it was the catalyst for my dh to actually have a conversation with his parents about their obvious dislike for me and they didn’t speak to me for 20+ years . Best thing that ever happened 😀

ancientgran · 11/08/2020 11:13

I'd go out with the baby. If your husband is OK with them then leave them to it. I say this as a MIL and I agonise over presents for DsIL as one in particular can take offence at nothing. I can't see how what they have done isn't deliberately nasty.

AryaStarkWolf · 11/08/2020 11:14

@Boireannachlaidir

How rude of them. They've clearly got absolutely no manners whatsoever. I agree it's time for the gloves to come off and fight fire with fire.

I wouldn't have a blazing row over it. I'd make the most frugal plain food for them that I could all the while smiling sweetly and saying how much they must all be enjoying a plate of boiled cabbage and parsnips for Sunday dinner!

hahaha, that's also a good plan, just a plate of lettuce, tell them how motivated you are now you have a scales :p
2pinkginsplease · 11/08/2020 11:14

Uninvite them and tell your oh to meet them in a park with your little one while you go for a coffee. Don’t be feeling uncomfortable in your own home.

It’s also time your oh stood up for you and told his parents how upset you are with the gift! That is shit!

If we ever have a problem dh sorts it out quickly and tactfully because the other way would be me doing it and I’m like like Bull in a China shop 😀

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 11/08/2020 11:14

Are they coming for a meal?
Make the healthiest most diety meal for everyone..
Vegan.
Salad.
Lots of beans.
No top up sides. No alcohol - water only.
Tell them you are so glad they are supporting you in losing the baby weight. Make them squirm op.

PimlicoJo · 11/08/2020 11:15

I agree with isthisnothing and I'm a complete wimp when it comes to confrontation. If they have bought you scales (and they are bathroom scales not kitchen scales) then it's an unforgivably nasty gift.

VimFuego101 · 11/08/2020 11:17

Definitely nothing but salad when they visit. Make sure there are cakes/ treats on display and don't offer them any.

GetawayfromthatWelshtart · 11/08/2020 11:17

For their birthday or Xmas wrap them up some incontinent knickers and pants in a size too small or big and urine removal mattress spray.

And for her:
www.coopersofstortford.co.uk/pelvic-floor-exerciser/
www.coopersofstortford.co.uk/skin-medic/

and for him:
www.coopersofstortford.co.uk/toenail-soft/
www.coopersofstortford.co.uk/vigorine-tablets-/

PrincessHoneysuckle · 11/08/2020 11:18

Throw them at them.So rude!

Iwanttobeanonymous · 11/08/2020 11:19

@Knittedfairies good idea. My fil actually broke 2 of our bent plywood chairs all the rage when we furnished the house by leaning heavily against the backs .

willowmelangell · 11/08/2020 11:20

Put a charity box by the front door, clearly labelled, put the scales on top.
Serve soup and salad on Saturday.

They have crossed a line. You don't have to bite your lip anymore or feign any pleasure in their company.

Lobelia123 · 11/08/2020 11:20

I'd cancel the weekend visit as you are now on a mission to lose weight so no entertaining with attendant teas, cakes, meals and hosting etc etc. Let them clearly see the connection between cause and effect. They were nasty passive aggressive assholes.

thepeopleversuswork · 11/08/2020 11:21

That is fucking weird.

Either they're incredibly rude or so totally lacking in imagination that they couldn't think what to buy you.

Not sure which is worse.

FetchezLaVache · 11/08/2020 11:21

It doesn't matter whether they did it to shame you or because they genuinely thought it was a lovely, thoughtful gift - it's far too personal and clearly suggests they think you need to diet. I would tell DH that he either makes it clear to them that their gift was offensive and that they must apologise and get you something else, or you will respond as suggested by @Isthisnothing.

IamTomHanks · 11/08/2020 11:22

I'd happily go out and leave them to it but my daughter gets upset when they're here because she doesn't know who they are as they hardly see her envy

If this is the case, then who cares about seeing them anyway.

WhereYouLeftIt · 11/08/2020 11:23

"I don't know how I'm meant to bite my tongue."
Neither do I. So don't.

I think TitsOutForHarambe has it:
"If your DH doesn't think they did it in a malicious way then get him to directly ask them why they gave you scales as a present. It's a simple question, and a valid one. Fucking weird gift and most people would intepret it negatively."

"If their answer isn't satisfactory then your DH needs to follow it up by inviting them for dinner this weekend and letting them know that they owe you an apology."

"Your DH needs to be the one to do all of this. I would insist and kick up a huge fuss with him if he wimped out."

Although I'd amend that a bit - there is no satisfactory answer, we all know that, and no they don't get rewarded with a dinner invitation; he can make it perfectly clear over the phone how disappointed in them he is and that until they can treat his wife with respect they are NOT welcome in his house. He really needs to cop the fuck on to what is happening in front of him.

"I'd happily never see them again as any time spent with them in painful at best but our daughter is their only grandchild so they crop up every month or so to pretend they care Hmm"

"I'd happily go out and leave them to it but my daughter gets upset when they're here because she doesn't know who they are as they hardly see her Envy < not envy"

Their visits are adding nothing to your life or the life of your daughter. You can stop them, it's not compulsory to let them in.

yomellamoHelly · 11/08/2020 11:24

Were they an expensive set of scales? (Dh got some digital ones that link up to an app. I was shocked how expensive they were.) Do you know where they come from? Can you return them in exchange for a voucher?

OVienna · 11/08/2020 11:25

@FetchezLaVache

It doesn't matter whether they did it to shame you or because they genuinely thought it was a lovely, thoughtful gift - it's far too personal and clearly suggests they think you need to diet. I would tell DH that he either makes it clear to them that their gift was offensive and that they must apologise and get you something else, or you will respond as suggested by *@Isthisnothing*.
This.
Helpimfalling · 11/08/2020 11:25

Am I the only one who would love some techy scales?

Had you mentioned lately you'd been doing any slimming world or etc

They may have picked up on something

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 11/08/2020 11:27

Your DH should be intervening here, asking them why they bought you such an insensitive gift.

He should also be letting them know that you are both offended by this, and he will not accept shoddy treatment of you

I would go out on Saturday, your DD will be fine with your DH...and if she plays up because you're not there, well good tough.

VividImagination · 11/08/2020 11:27

I’ve had a lot of “inappropriate” gifts over the years. Think Pyrex jug! Thoughtless but somewhat well meaning. However this is on a different level completely. At best it’s extremely unkind at worst, downright dangerous. Lots of people are struggling with lockdown. A gift like that could finish me off.

Your dh has to see that this was indeed malicious. He needs to speak to them and you should definitely cancel them for Saturday.

Polnm · 11/08/2020 11:31

@TeddyIsaHe

What knobs! I’d get them a burial plot for Christmas.
I was given a burial plot for my 50th, probably the best gift I have ever received. I was delighted
wheretonow123 · 11/08/2020 11:31

Its very hard to deal with. Think I'd just give it straight back to them next birthday / christmas.

If they come at the weekend, cook something that they dont particularly like.

GlassMarble · 11/08/2020 11:32

@Lsquiggles

I'd happily go out and leave them to it but my daughter gets upset when they're here because she doesn't know who they are as they hardly see her Envy < not envy
@Lsquiggles your DH is a coward if he’s going to pretend they didn’t do it maliciously.

Secondly go out! Let DH have to deal with an upset child and his and his nasty parents.

Honestly - problems like this only exist because people ‘allow’ it to exist. DH should grow a backbone and stop it. But equally you stop being a martyr and stop it yourself by either speaking up or not being there every time.

How would your DH feel if they bought your future teen DD scales?!!