My in laws just gifted me scales for my birthday

[Lsquiggles]

It's my birthday and I feel absolutely shit after opening a present from my in laws... Fucking scales.

No matter how hard I've tried with them they've always made it clear they don't like me that much, this is just the lowest blow.

They're meant to come over on Saturday and I don't know how I'm meant to bite my tongue.

And happy birthday. 🍰 🎁 🎂 🧁 🥳 🎈

Don’t let them spoil your day.

At the moment, your DH believes that the path of the easiest life lies in persuading you that it wasn't malicious and as such, the visit can go ahead on Saturday and you'll just keep quiet.

You need to make him realise that his failure to stick up for his wife at this point will lead to a very uncomfortable life for him so that in the future, he will head off all shitty behaviour on the part of his parents at the pass.

Sometimes you need to put your foot down, my step dad (who Has been in my life since i was 4 and his family too) his mother always was sexist and rude to me, while pregnant she told me infront of my dad that I'll be a horrible mother and the baby will end up dying etc, i kicked her out of the house and she is not allowed meeting my son(7months old) or talking to me, my mom agreed and my dad wasn't happy but eventually he understood. To hurt u on purpose or not you need to tell them how it made you feel, obviously anyone who does that doesn't have good intentions.

Oof. It's one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations OP. Do nothing, they'll take it as permission to walk all over you and do shitty things in the future. Bring it up or retaliate and they'll know they've got to you... and will do shitty things in the future. In my experience shitty people double down, not back off, if you stand up to them.

I would ask them directly why they bought you scales? So bloody rude and offensive!

I've told my dh to give them the scales back and that I don't want them to buy me gifts anymore.

I think that's a good response. They are arses!

[quote Lsquiggles]@BrunetteBuns he was as stunned as me but doesn't think they did it in a malicious way [/quote]
I wonder in what why he thinks that they did it then, Op?

Did they ask DH what to get you? (Just a thought.......................)

Attempt at picture of suitable present (£36 funeral urns):

That is Christmas sorted OP

I know OP has already decided what to do (happy birthday!), but I've always admired a suggestion I saw on another thread about a tactless or otherwise awful gift: Save it until the next gift-giving occasion, then give it back to them (beautifully wrapped, of course!) with the message that you so enjoyed the one they'd given you that you thought they'd like one, too.

Don't know if I'd ever have the guts to do it, but it makes me happy to think about.

@1WildTeaParty

Attempt at picture of suitable present (£36 funeral urns):

Ooh yes.

I'm struggling to see how your dh doesn't think there's any malice in it tbh?
What wankers!

@1WildTeaParty

Attempt at picture of suitable present (£36 funeral urns):

They are rather pretty. I’d keep tea in one and coffee in the other...

Good for you OP. I always try to see the other sides point of view but there is no excuse for this gift. Tactless at best.

@Lsquiggles

To answer a few questions, it's weight scales... Bog standard ones too so definitely not intended as a nice gift I asked for!

I'm going to tell dh later that they can't come and that he should tell them the gift was insulting, I'm sure they'll say I'm being over dramatic but fuck them

Good OP.

If they come over make sure they drink from these

When is dh's birthday? Get him a penis pump - the one designed to give you a bigger penis. Tell him no malice intended
But tbh he is a big enough dick already not defending you

Oh my sides, this is the best ever present. I'm using this if I ever need to with DP.

You should stick them in one of these deep picture frames and hang them on the wall. When they mention it, say, 'oh yes, they make handy wall art. I'll get you some for your next gift from us'.

Disinvite, low contact. If your DH fails to see why it was unacceptable, consider whether he's really such a good 'D'H.

There's lots of present ideas online for their next Christmas gift OP.

No malice intended... Obviously.

That's so rude! My MIL gave me a book on 'saying no to children'. I was particularly offended given that the only person who spoils my kids is her, and we are always asking her to stop bombarding them with presents.

Gift them back at the next opportunity. How blind is your husband, he's bloody deluded.

Do you think your DH will actually tell them not to come? It doesn’t sound likely tbh.

So if I was you I would 100% be out on Saturday with your daughter.

There comes a time when you veer from victim to volunteer. If you let this go, if you sit there gritting your teeth for the sake of appearances, you will be volunteering yourself for that treatment in the future.

Just something to think about.

My MIL is a passive aggressive old cow. Sadly my DH thinks she’s just a silly old lady. We barely see her now as my dh as never found his spine to get her into line and I’ve had enough now to bother with her even though she’s not as shitty as she was. Being offered no food or drink when everyone else was, ignored when we went to visit, she’d ask my husband about the kids and ignore me. Or the time she visited our second baby and brought my dh his favourite chocolates and brought our eldest something but nothing for me and the baby.

If you’re dh won’t do anything, I would suggest being very blunt. Or having nothing to do with them.