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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I've met 'the one' after 3 weeks?

161 replies

NorthernGal9 · 10/08/2020 19:18

I don't know if I necessarily believe in the idea of 'the one' but didn't know how else to phrase it.

Met just over three weeks ago in a pub. Talked all night til 6 in the morning. Seen each other every free minute since. I feel like we both just know.

I've had some utterly horrific experiences in the past and this is so so different. It's like my gut knew as soon as I saw him. He's incredible. I'm just so happy.

Anyone else experienced something this? I didn't even know it was possible to feel this way. It took me a year last time I was with someone to even feel about one-tenth of how I feel now. Eeeeek!

OP posts:

chubbyhotchoc · 10/08/2020 22:27

All these posters saying they met and fell in love after a few dates and now live happily ever after are a bit irresponsible. It's like saying I crossed the road once without looking and I got to the other side fine. Giving vulnerable women the green light to be reckless in their love lives can be very damaging.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 10/08/2020 22:27

Yes.Met dh 3 months after separating from exh.We went on holiday 8 weeks in,1 month later I was pregnant.We got married when ds was 2.5 and now we've been together nearly 8 yrs.

tsmainsqueeze · 10/08/2020 22:34

My husband moved in with me and x boyfriend {who i had finished with } -and was just trying to get him to move out ! the last thing i was looking for was another relationship.
The night he moved in i knew i would marry /have kids with him , no stars and fireworks just an absolute knowledge of what would be , 25 years later with 3 kids still in love.

MilerVino · 10/08/2020 22:48

My mum says she knew within a few weeks of meeting my dad that she'd marry him. Over 50 years later and they're still together. Whether or not they should be is another matter, since he's an alcoholic and she's a co-dependent enabler.

I spent 5 years chasing someone I thought I had a special connection with. That was bullshit. However, I am very happy with my now OH. I found him interesting the minute I met him but I was unsure - that however was to do with my own insecurities, not him.

Good luck OP. Enjoy it for what it is.

Keepyourconversationsboring · 10/08/2020 23:05

One of my girlfriends said to me 'when you know he's the one, you know' after my first date with DH to be. She was right. He is my one, and I knew as soon as I met him. 8 years on...I'm thankful I went on that date 😊
If you know, you know OP! Go for it!

Graphista · 10/08/2020 23:07

Biochemically the "rose tinted glasses" are in play for at least 12-18 months.

Enjoy...but be aware of this plus what pps say about we are ALL on our best behaviour initially - and a few weeks is NO time at all!

Don't make any major decisions too quickly as a result of this feeling.

It's lust rather than love to be honest, it's the biological imperative. - are you recently off the pill and/or were ovulating when you met?

If you already have dc you need to be especially careful

DipSwimSwoosh · 10/08/2020 23:24

Yes with my dh. I felt like I had always known him.

Desolate2nite · 10/08/2020 23:29

I thought I knew, married after 7 months, realised I'd made a huge mistake on the honeymoon, limped on for another 3 months

Cocolapew · 10/08/2020 23:38

I knew DH was after about a week, there was no love bombing or anything like that. We were engaged at 3 weeks and married a year later, been married 25 years.
It was strange because I had been in his company a few times before, in the pub, I was engaged to someone else and he (DH) never struck me as anything special at the time (sorry DH).

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 10/08/2020 23:45

My parents got engaged six weeks after meeting, married after 3 months. They were In their early 30’s with serious relationship behind them ( that they’d ended,) so I think they both knew what they were looking for in a partner.

Still, my Mum said she wishes she’s waited a bit longer as my Dad was on his best behavior and some of his problems surfaced later. She’d still have married him, just been better prepared.

Take it slowly, OP, and enjoy it!

Yeahnahmum · 10/08/2020 23:45

Yup. First time i met him, i knew it. We moved in together few months later .we are now years in with 2 kids. Best man / husband in the world.

mellowww · 10/08/2020 23:47

Yes. It's takes max 13.8 seconds. To know.

sunrainwind · 10/08/2020 23:53

I was in love before with other men, but was totally different with my now husband in a way I wouldn't believe possible or sensible until it happened. Everything moved quickly for us (living together after 2 months, engaged after 4, married less than a year after meeting, baby 11 months later another 2 years later). It was and is wonderful. In 10 years he's still just as caring, loving and wonderful as he always has been. I feel very lucky.

NotEvenTheKing · 11/08/2020 00:06

I expect so. I wasn't all that into my DP for the first two weeks, but by the third, I knew I was in love with him. We are still together, 2 kids and almost 14 years later. It's not been perfect by any means. But did I know we'd still be together so long after, probably not. But we are, and I knew I loved him then. Only time can tell, as they say.

jessstan2 · 11/08/2020 00:14

I felt like that with my husband and he with me. We were married nearly forty-four years.

PurpleFlower1983 · 11/08/2020 00:17

YADNBU! I gave my now husband a key to my house after date number 3, he only stayed at his own place about 3 times after we met. Sometimes you just know!

1Morewineplease · 11/08/2020 00:23

Fell in love on first date. 30 years later , still in love.

1Morewineplease · 11/08/2020 00:29

@chubbyhotchoc

Conversely, do you know how many people divorce after twenty years or more? Loads.

It’s different for everyone. However, sometimes there’s hope.

Let’s not deny the OP her happy ending, eh?

Emmmie · 11/08/2020 00:30

Me and my husband met online. He asked me to be his wife weeks after the initial online meeting and I said yes (sounds kind of insane now).
We also had to do the long distance thing for over 7 years as we were both students at the time and needed good jobs and a lot of money before even applying for a visa. We were only able to visit each other 2-3 times a year due to a 5000 mile distance (think Europe/North America). It was heartbreaking to repeatedly have to say goodbye.

We are married and have been living together for over 5 years now, currently expecting our first baby. We love each other even more and get along really well.

However, we are aware that this is not the norm. I would go mental if my daughter got engaged to someone online after only two weeks of knowing them. It is a bit of a double standard, but I don’t really care. I know my own mom was mortified. Thankfully, everything worked out in the end.

So OP, it is possible. I wish you the best of luck!

fruityt · 11/08/2020 00:44

I knew the moment I saw DH. I was only 18 (so was he) but I just felt an instant connection. Married after 6 years so it wasn't love bombing.

user1468538201 · 11/08/2020 01:18

Yep, felt this 20 years ago. Am about to celebrate 12 wedding anniversary to his best friend!!!
Dating the guy who gave me butterflies was wonderful because without him I'd never have met my husband, that relationship was a slow burner but it is the right one for me. Enjoy the feelings but don't let excitement make you lose your head, what will be, will be

AdoptAdaptImprove · 11/08/2020 01:37

I think we knew after a couple of weeks, but didn’t move in together till just over a year later, and it was three more years before we married. Been together over 20 years now and still going strong.

I don’t think I’d trust making long term decisions right at the start, but I do agree that when you know, you know.

Angelina82 · 11/08/2020 01:40

It’s lovely that you feel that way and my advice to you is not to try overanalyse it. Just enjoy it for what it is right now and if he turns out to be you’re happy ever after that’s a. extra massive bonus x

Midnightoil2020 · 11/08/2020 01:42

@NorthernGal9 if his name begins with M and yours L then run like the fucking wind !

Noconceptofnormal · 11/08/2020 02:08

It is a lovely feeling OP.

Sorry to counteract the lovely stories. I had that feeling with my husband, we both just knew, declared our love for each other within a couple of weeks etc. We did wait a couple of years to get married but were very happy.

Just found out he's had an affair, and left me, despite us having very small children (think tiny baby).

Turns out he's just chasing getting that first flush of love feeling, and found it again with someone else whilst I was busy raising our kids.

I hope eventually I might meet someone again and feel that way again, but I will never quite trust that feeling again like I did a decade ago.

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