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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I've met 'the one' after 3 weeks?

161 replies

NorthernGal9 · 10/08/2020 19:18

I don't know if I necessarily believe in the idea of 'the one' but didn't know how else to phrase it.

Met just over three weeks ago in a pub. Talked all night til 6 in the morning. Seen each other every free minute since. I feel like we both just know.

I've had some utterly horrific experiences in the past and this is so so different. It's like my gut knew as soon as I saw him. He's incredible. I'm just so happy.

Anyone else experienced something this? I didn't even know it was possible to feel this way. It took me a year last time I was with someone to even feel about one-tenth of how I feel now. Eeeeek!

OP posts:

TheAquaticDuchess · 10/08/2020 20:32

I knew I was going to marry my husband the day after I met him, and I rang my sister to tell her so.

BUT - and this bit is important - I waited 4 years to marry him, and lived with him first. My instinct about him was strong and had been proven right, but I gave myself plenty of time to be sure before I made the commitment of marriage.

RustyLeesBogBrush · 10/08/2020 20:32

Met my husband like this - in a pub and sat up all night talking. Still together 20 years later and very happy, never fight or argue.

However, I never ever thought of him as the one and was in no way thinking about the future. I knew he was unlike anyone I had ever met before and special but we saw each other once a week for a year before we started thinking about the future together. I am a very cautious person though and not at all a heart on my sleeve type.

StormBaby · 10/08/2020 20:37

@chubbyhotchoc actually I did date someone for 6 weeks before I met DH, who also love bombed me, it was amazing and I was utterly besotted...then it fizzled out. Very glad it did now of course, my DH is amazing

Cillmantain · 10/08/2020 20:43

I knew almost instantly.
With him 28 years now.
Still feel the same

hadtojoin · 10/08/2020 20:47

After our 3rd date (3 weeks since we had met) I told my mum this is the man I'm going to marry. He said later that he felt exactly the same. We married 2 years later and have just celebrated our 33rd anniversary.
It wsasn't even a decision for me I just knew. We have different tastes in music and jokes and even an ex wife from hell and a DSS didn't make the slightest difference.

MumsyMumIAmNot · 10/08/2020 20:54

I found the one. Knew straight away. He ended being an abusive cheat. Happy for you all though! I have a new one now, but never got that feeling of him being the one, though he is so kind and lovely. Typical.

WitchenKitch · 10/08/2020 20:54

Oh absolutely. Got married to my "one" one year after meeting him too. Still going strong (through some really rough times) 14 years later.

Having said that, keep in mind that if this guy is your one, you can feel secure about that long life ahead, and take it slowly, savour every stage. (Advice I didn't follow, and now I'm waiting until the kids are older so we can get back some of that lost 'cool couple gadding about town' time. )

WhereamI88 · 10/08/2020 20:56

Enjoy but keep some caution at the back of your mind. Don't move in together /give him money / lose friends over him / get pregnant. You may have a happy ending or it may be a fun experience and that's it. The only thing that could make it turn sour is if you put too much trust in him too soo.

Squiffany · 10/08/2020 20:57

We got engaged after 5 weeks and 20 years later we are still happily married so it can happen OP.

KenDodd · 10/08/2020 20:58

Love at first sight.

Definitely, when I first saw my dog.

Phrowzunn · 10/08/2020 20:59

I dated my now DH for 7 years before we got engaged, waited another 1.5 to get married, were married almost 2 years before we had our first DD, then another 2 to have our second DD - so we took it pretty slow! But 100% I could have told you he was the one after three weeks. Just as you say, it just felt ‘different’. Like ‘this is it!’. Good luck to you

soupey1 · 10/08/2020 21:10

Yep, we clicked right away - engaged after a few weeks, married after a few months and still blissfully happy 30+ years later!

Scarby9 · 10/08/2020 21:15

One Sunday morning, a friend and I were introduced to a man who had just moved into the area. He seemed very nice...

I can't remember why we both missed church the following week but by the Sunday afterwards he was engaged to another friend of ours, having met her in the intervening fortnight.

29 years later they are still happily married, both still good friends of ours, and happily admit they are the least spontaneous people they know. Except that they just knew the first moment they met that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. It can definitely happen.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 10/08/2020 21:21

Well i wish you the very best of luck but i really would recommend not spending every spare minute together, it's not healthy, at best it can cause the relationship to peak then crash and burn early on, at worst it's a red flag that he's love bombing you which then can go very nasty and sour.
Ive experienced both situations.
Just be cautiously optimistic but don't let yourself be blinded by infatuation

SospanFrangipan · 10/08/2020 21:25

We had this, said I love you after two weeks. That was 15 years ago. Now married with a DS :)

maybemu · 10/08/2020 21:30

This is me when I met my husband. In my gut I just knew. He says he didn't know right away.

Just take it slowly and enjoy the beginning part. If you know it just makes it easier to enjoy.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 10/08/2020 21:31

Felt like that with my ex boyfriend. 3 months later walked in on him in bed with my housemate.

At the time I was very upset about him, but within a few weeks was more upset about losing a generally friendly, prompt-paying and tidy housemate.

mrbob · 10/08/2020 21:36

Yup. It’s happened to me many times. Then they have started to use the lines such as “I’m not really looking for a relationship” or “I am still getting over my ex” and here I am at 40 still single...
I love that feeling but unfortunately it has never resulted in an actual long term relationship

Megan2018 · 10/08/2020 21:44

I did. We were older though (late 30’s)

Moved in together after 3 weeks, engaged after a few months, married a year later. 1 DD and been together 7 years.
Currently in a rocky patch but I think we’ll resolve it. It’s not a fairytale but I didn’t expect it to be.
No regrets

Eloise97 · 10/08/2020 21:47

@NorthernGal9 me and my husband feel in love straight alway. We have been together for 15 yrs now and married for 7 yrs and have two beautiful boys.

If you feel it's right then just go with it :)

rainbowsandrage · 10/08/2020 21:48

I had this with my DH. After 3 weeks we both just knew. We were married less than 18 months later. 15 years have since gone by since then and we are still very much in love and very very happy. Good luck with your new love OP

marly11 · 10/08/2020 21:54

I think it's best to be wary. I think people can be on their best behaviour for a pretty long time if they need to be! It sounds very short to me - you can have a good feeling, but in truth you don't really know them, their family, their habits and ways of dealing with life's problems in this amount of time.

Generalblah · 10/08/2020 22:12

Met my husband, thought nothing of it. The following weekend we hd our first date and 2 days later told each other we loved each other and haven’t stopped saying it since. Married and a baby now.
We too spent every spare minute with each other From that first date. 6 years later and we have only slept apart a hand full of times. :)

Porcupineinwaiting · 10/08/2020 22:21

Use you head. If he's the one it wont matter if you take it slowly, you have the rest of your lives together to look forward to.

If, on the other hand, he has sensed that you are vulnerable and is love-bombing you, taking it quickly is the worst thing you could do.

Mountainpika · 10/08/2020 22:25

He proposed 3 weeks after we met. No doubts at all. Been married well over 40 years. FIngers crossed for you. It can happen.

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