AIBU to not be bothered about watching friends' wedding livestream?

[WeddingGrump]

Name changed, because perhaps I'm being miserable.

I have some friends who intended to get married next spring - largish event 150+ people. We''d been asked to hold the date. Because of COVID and family members shielding they've since decided to cancel and go ahead next month with the permitted 30 attendees. I have no problem with that, and am not offended about being uninvited. However, they are also intending to livestream the ceremony and sending out a link so those guests not invited to attend in person can join them virtually.

Maybe I am being a grump, but I have no interest in taking time out of a working day to watch a a livestream of their wedding. It's nice for the relatives who aren't able to attend to have the option but for the remainder of the 120 guests I'm not sure it's that appealing a prospect. Perfectly happy to flick though a photo album at a later date but watching the real time ceremony has little appeal. However, the software they are using will tell them who is watching so it feels like the expectation is there that we will still 'attend' virtually.

YABU - I would watch my friends' wedding livestream
YANBU - I wouldn't bother

YABU. But it’s the fact that it’s a working day that makes it difficult. Is it atlunchtime? Could you watch in your break? If it wasn’t that, I would definitely, definitely watch. It will be much shorter ceremony than normal, probably no longer than half an hour. It’s nice to see friends having a nice time, and I’d rather watch over livestream than attend a many a wedding that may take up a whole weekend. I’m really surprised at the number of people saying they wouldn’t watch.

Of course I'd watch it! The ceremony IS the wedding really. I always cry! I'll watch with Derxa

@derxa

Weddings can be very boring and expensive for those who feel the social pressure to attend. They bring out the best and worst in people.
Personally I find the expense and expectations involved a total waste. As a hidden player in these proceedings - the bitchyness of a lot of guests makes me wonder if people really do know their ‘friends’ and families.

Of course I'd watch it! The ceremony IS the wedding really. I always cry! I'll watch with Derxa It's a date luv

@derxa

I'll watch it instead of you. I love weddings. I wonder about the psychology of hating weddings on MN. Snobbery? Introversion? Meanness? Or possibly all three.

They boring unless there an open bar and i hate dressing up. Apparently wearing jeans and a tee to a wedding is a no no as a female

I also dont like romantic movies, YAWN

Id be oddly having internet issues the day of the wedding lol

I’d watch, even though I’d probably find it a tad boring. But, I’d want them to know I participated in their special day and was happy for them.

You don’t watch. Are you actually from the 21st century? You log in, send a lovely greeting and get on with your day. It takes you all of 30 seconds yet means the world to people you are presumably relatively close to.

YABU. It’s not about you/providing entertainment. They want to share the moment they get married with people they who have meant something to them over the years or who they just like and would have liked to celebrate with. A week day does make it difficult, but if it were me I’d make the effort to watch to show I valued the friendship and was happy for them.

It would be like sitting through peoples holiday videos, boring as hell

YANBU

Wedding days as a whole can be a bit draining, but the ceremony (usually quite short) is the main point and might be the most special moment of your friend’s life. I’d be pleased to be invited to share it with them.

You can’t be that close to them then. You do t need to take a day off but have it on in the back ground, dip in/out I would love to see friends getting married, how they look etc if only for parts of it.

YABU. Can't believe the responses on this thread. It's hardly any effort and will mean something to your friends who have already had to give up the wedding they had hoped for.

What a bunch of miserable bastards.

Not much of a friend, are you?

Apparently wearing jeans and a tee to a wedding is a no no as a female It's generally a 'no no' for males as well.
Do you get asked to many weddings?

MN is a weird place sometimes. I would activity want to watch my friends’ wedding.

Let’s face it other people’s weddings are like other people’s babies/pregnancy’s. Only a few people really really care anywhere near as much as mum/dad/bride/groom.

Yes it’s lovely your in love and I will congratulate you and wish you well but it is boring to sit though a church do and personally written vows etc. The cost of new outfits and them making sure you give enough as a gift. A streamed wedding skips any of the good bits such as food/drink and aunt mable getting drunk and flashing everyone on the dance floor and gives you just the boring talking bit 😅 However you save money on the outfit.

Apparently wearing jeans and a tee to a wedding is a no no as a female

In fairness, it's what I wore to my own wedding.

With live streams you don't even have to pay attention. You can have it on in the background so imo YABU

I wouldn't bother

I’d watch if it was my friends. But I actually like them so.... 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'd watch and show an interest, she'll want you to.

How mean, you can't bothered to watch your friend get married but you were happy to accept an invite when you got a day out.

You are not unreasonable per se but maybe a bit of a grump depending on how close friends they are ! Could you like a pp said log on to the livestream on mute / video disabled your side so it shows that you attended but then dip in and out (or not at all) as work permits? Tbh they aren’t going to be watching the screen at the time to see who’s on so that may be enough to make them think you care? Then you can join properly for a couple of virtual drinks once you’ve finished work (and you would be unreasonable not to do that)

I probably wouldn't bother watching it, but I don't think they're unreasobale to send the link out. There will be some people who want to watch and they can hardly pick and choose who they send it to, as that would be bound to annoy someone! I suppose they could have asked people if they wanted the link but then some people wouldn't have replied and others would have said yes not wanting to give offense by refusing etc - easier just to send out the link. It's up to you if you want to have it on in the background, delete the message or watch with hanky in hand marvelling at the wonder of their love.

I'd watch it just because it's a big moment for my friend.