Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not be bothered about watching friends' wedding livestream?

150 replies

WeddingGrump · 10/08/2020 12:36

Name changed, because perhaps I'm being miserable.

I have some friends who intended to get married next spring - largish event 150+ people. We''d been asked to hold the date. Because of COVID and family members shielding they've since decided to cancel and go ahead next month with the permitted 30 attendees. I have no problem with that, and am not offended about being uninvited. However, they are also intending to livestream the ceremony and sending out a link so those guests not invited to attend in person can join them virtually.

Maybe I am being a grump, but I have no interest in taking time out of a working day to watch a a livestream of their wedding. It's nice for the relatives who aren't able to attend to have the option but for the remainder of the 120 guests I'm not sure it's that appealing a prospect. Perfectly happy to flick though a photo album at a later date but watching the real time ceremony has little appeal. However, the software they are using will tell them who is watching so it feels like the expectation is there that we will still 'attend' virtually.

YABU - I would watch my friends' wedding livestream
YANBU - I wouldn't bother

OP posts:
MrsJBaptiste · 10/08/2020 13:32

@toodlepipsqueaks

These responses are really interesting. I wouldn't say I love weddings but would definitely want to see the ceremony if I were at all close to the couple. We had to reschedule our wedding to next year and some of these responses make me wonder how bothered people will even be if it goes ahead.
I wouldn't worry, most people in RL love a wedding and actually have friends and family they actually like. However on MM it's apparently cool to hate weddings and be utterly appalled to get an invite to one 😒
Redhair23 · 10/08/2020 13:34

Go on grumpy-watch it to spare their feelings.

Yeahnahmum · 10/08/2020 13:36

GrumpGrin

DotBall · 10/08/2020 13:38

Lol at all the ‘I hate weddings’ and ‘Put it on and do something in the meantime’. I feel exactly the same.

But just think about all the ££££££ spent over the years on weddings where the guests are ‘Hate weddings’, ‘When’s the earliest I can leave without causing offence’. 😂😂

The best weddings are quick, simple, meaningful and cheap. No need to go over the top.

NoSquirrels · 10/08/2020 13:39

If you're genuinely at work and cannot 'attend' because you're on task, of course you are NBU to decline the virtual invite, in the same way that you would NBU if you couldn't attend in person due to work or a prior engagement.

But if you're just WFH and can flex your day with no hassle, just stick the livestream on in one window, send them a "Congratulations! Beautiful ceremony" message and watch as little or as much as you like.

Seems bloody miserable not to even want to log on once to give a supportive virtual wave to them if you have the opportunity.

elenacampana · 10/08/2020 13:41

I’d watch my friend getting married if I couldn’t go to the ceremony but had been invited yes. It’s a way of showing support and interest in someone’s very special moment that has been really spoiled. I’d want to be able to talk to my friend about it after the event because it’s important for them so I wouldn’t behave like watching it was a massive inconvenience no.

MinorArcana · 10/08/2020 13:42

I’d probably watch it. The actual ceremony probably won’t last all that long.

But if you’re not so keen then I’d probably do as pp suggest and have it on in the background while you’re doing your other stuff.

Mochudhu · 10/08/2020 13:48

Make sure your camera's off so they can't see if you're physically there then watch on fast forward later.

countrygirl99 · 10/08/2020 13:52

I suppose it depends whether you care about the people or were just interested in a piss up paid for by someone else.

TorgosPizza · 10/08/2020 14:08

As others have said, I'd probably just open it and watch a bit now and then. It might be more interesting than you're expecting. The actual ceremony isn't usually that long, anyway. If it's too long and dull, you can be working on something else while it's on in the background, and they'll be none the wiser.

Time40 · 10/08/2020 14:14

Yes, just put it on, do other things and keep half an eye on it. Weddings are just a big pain in the bum ... usually literally, too, if you're actually there. At least you won't have hard pews to suffer, OP.

butterpuffed · 10/08/2020 14:15

Presumably they're offering the live stream because they feel bad that many of the originally invited guests are not now allowed to attend and are trying to make amends. Rather mean to show no interest.

SurreyHillsGirl · 10/08/2020 14:21

YABU

MN seems to be full of miserable, mean spirited old bags!

Your FRIEND is getting married and you can't be arsed to take, what, 20 minutes out of your day, to watch one of the most important days of her life? Are you sure you and she are friends and not acquaintences? Confused

I'm snowed working from home but would still take time out to do this.

I'm glad you're not my friend Hmm

Moondust001 · 10/08/2020 14:22

If it was a friend then I'd want to watch. If I wasn't then I wouldn't have accepted an invitation in the first place. It rather smacks of a shallowness on your part - are you a friend or not?

Jayaywhynot · 10/08/2020 14:23

Totally boring, live streaming, zooms etc, I dislike it all.
I'd cry off and say as the wedding numbers were reduced you have now agreed to go to work but look forward to seeing the photographs.
I watched a live stream of my aunt's funeral but only out of love and respect

SurreyHillsGirl · 10/08/2020 14:24

The best weddings are quick, simple, meaningful and cheap

The 'cheap' bit is definitely not true at all Grin

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 10/08/2020 14:26

Both my daughters have had pandemic weddings which were live streamed. Although I was at the weddings it has been lovely reading the comments and messages from friends around the world. If you can't watch it live you can catch up on it later.

altiara · 10/08/2020 14:27

YABU, I’d watch my friend getting married!
In fact I’d watch your friend’s wedding for you!
What I don’t like is the travel and waiting around. So sign me up for all of the zoom weddings that no one wants to attend Grin

Thecobwebsarewinning · 10/08/2020 14:28

I’d have it on while I did something else, just as background. Then you’ll be able to make some honest comments about it next time you see them ‘Lovely reading, you looked so happy when you walked up the aisle’.

AuntieStella · 10/08/2020 14:28

Live streamed events can usually be watched afterwards too.

So no, I probably wouldn't interrupt the working day.

But I would watch - live if genuinely convenient, or in the evening with a glass in my hand.

TrickyKid · 10/08/2020 14:30

Yanbu. Wedding ceremonies are boring in real life never mind watching it on a screen.

MarshaBradyo · 10/08/2020 14:34

I think a lot of people have zoom / screen fatigue. Weddings are good for the social aspect (for many people anyway) not just watching something on a screen.

Easy to put it on in background if that part worries op.

RandyLionandDirtyDog · 10/08/2020 14:35

YANBU.

Jeez, no. I don’t much enjoy other people’s weddings at the best of times so I definitely wouldn’t watch it online.

Wish them well and say you had internet connection problems in the day.

camperjam · 10/08/2020 14:38

YABU, if you like them it's hardly a lot of effort to watch a 20 minute video is it?
Only on Mumsnet are you supposed to hate weddings and birthdays.

Disfordarkchocolate · 10/08/2020 14:40

I'd love to watch.

Dig out your hat and enjoy the ceremony. It will be hardly any time out of your day and it's hardly any effort at all.