AIBU to not be bothered about watching friends' wedding livestream?

[WeddingGrump]

Name changed, because perhaps I'm being miserable.

I have some friends who intended to get married next spring - largish event 150+ people. We''d been asked to hold the date. Because of COVID and family members shielding they've since decided to cancel and go ahead next month with the permitted 30 attendees. I have no problem with that, and am not offended about being uninvited. However, they are also intending to livestream the ceremony and sending out a link so those guests not invited to attend in person can join them virtually.

Maybe I am being a grump, but I have no interest in taking time out of a working day to watch a a livestream of their wedding. It's nice for the relatives who aren't able to attend to have the option but for the remainder of the 120 guests I'm not sure it's that appealing a prospect. Perfectly happy to flick though a photo album at a later date but watching the real time ceremony has little appeal. However, the software they are using will tell them who is watching so it feels like the expectation is there that we will still 'attend' virtually.

YABU - I would watch my friends' wedding livestream
YANBU - I wouldn't bother

No way! Can't you just log in later to see five minutes of the dress? The only people who'd do this are among the 30 who'd be there anyway.

I wouldn't be looking forward to it but if it was a friend who meant anything to me, I'd make sure they knew I'd seen it.

Millions tune in to watch a Royal Wedding why wouldn't you watch your friend's?

I’d leave it running on my tablet or phone while working. I’d have a quick look every now and again.

Good on them, I think. The most important part of a wedding is when you actually get married! Don’t get me wrong - I love a good party - but I respect anyone saying ‘actually, what matters to us right now is recognising our union, even if we can’t have the photo booth/cocktail bar etc’ (I say that as someone who had those things!)

I get that it might not be something you’re massively looking forward to as you would a full wedding, but they’ve invited you to watch one of the biggest moments of their lives so I think it would be churlish not to take them up on that because you can’t be bothered or thing it’s boring.

Really? I think there has been enough joy snatched out of everything recently so why not take 20 mins out of your day to celebrate your friends ? They obvs think enough of you to invite you to the original wedding.
I would watch and enjoy. Like PP said, you don't have to travel mile and spend money on a new outfit etc

I'd watch, raise a glass and send them a photo so they get to see what it looked like from the Internet. I love my friends and I love celebrations!

In the big scheme of things this is a minor issue. You don't need to take a day off work. Just tell them you are at work or if you can pretend to watch it.
But no.. I'd like a nosey at the dresses and wish them well.

I would put it on, even if it didn't have my full attention due to work. Just check in to see the dress, the decorations etc. It can't be very long, surely? And it's a nice thing to do for the bride and groom.

But then I watched the royal weddings and I have never met anyone involved in them so maybe I'm the weird one.

I would put it on and not watch watch it too.

If i was the bride/groom i'd be so glad i wasn't forking out £100 per person or whatever on someone who clearly doesn't actually want to watch us get married, but just wanted the free party

These responses are really interesting. I wouldn't say I love weddings but would definitely want to see the ceremony if I were at all close to the couple. We had to reschedule our wedding to next year and some of these responses make me wonder how bothered people will even be if it goes ahead.

I'd do it but I love a wedding. I don't think I'd need to take the day off though. But I'm WFH.

I definitely would not be watching. Call me miserable but I wouldn’t really care. A wedding is special to the bride and groom and theirs parents, I don’t even care that much about siblings getting married. It’s their day.

@toodlepipsqueaks

These responses are really interesting. I wouldn't say I love weddings but would definitely want to see the ceremony if I were at all close to the couple. We had to reschedule our wedding to next year and some of these responses make me wonder how bothered people will even be if it goes ahead.

Depends if your friends are nice people or not. 😉

I agree with others that I would have it on and also carry on with whatever else needs to be done. If it's Zoom or similar you can turn off your end of the video 'because of bandwidth issues' so nobody can tell that you're not paying attention.

Can you not attend by just signing on but not giving your full attention - have a cup of tea/drink/eat/faff about on internet.
I think if it was me I'd half watch it.

You don't have to watch it at the time surely, you can watch it later. I did that recently with a different sort of event and can watch it again if I wish. With a wedding I would fast forward to bits that I found interesting.

YANBU. Watching events on live stream is not the most interesting thing to do, it gets really rather dull as you don't get any of the positive atmosphere you'd hope for at a wedding. I'd probably start watching it but do something else at the same time.

"but I have no interest in taking time out of a working day to watch a a livestream of their wedding."

So don't!

I think it's nice that there's a way for people who now can't go to be able to watch them exchange vows.

But surely it's not obligatory?

I'd watch —if you're working just have it on in the background.

I'd like to see the dresses, flowers, and see them get married. I've been to a few weddings where I was invited to just the evening do but went to the church as well (after asking the couple obviously, I didn't just turn up!) because that's the important part of the wedding really.

If you really don't want to watch, at least send a card with a nice message so it doesn't seem like you've ignored it entirely.

As PPs have said, I'd let it run in the background or, if the following can't be checked (such as if the bride or groom work at the same workplace as you), I'd say your terms of employment or corporate ICT policies prevent you from streaming it.

I'd not want to watch it myself but as a PP has said, the wedding party might be upset at the changes to their big day (not my way of thinking but I can see others may) so if they think their original invitees might watch it online, where would be the harm?

I'd probably drop in on it just to see what was what because I'm nosey. But mostly I'd do as others have suggested and have it running in the background while I do something more interesting. They're happy because you're (apparently) watching and you're happy because you're not! Win win

Pop it on in the background and fill the chat box with an odd joyful comment as you go about other stuff. You may find it more fun than it sounds- it doesn't sound that fun tbh but it will be nice to be just a small part of it for them. They won't know you are doing accounts/ironing/baking/watching Bob's Burgers.

Have it on and don’t watch or don’t bother at all, but no don’t blame you for not watching a whole livestream

This is what I find weird about big weddings with loads of guests. If someone who would have been invited and coming along can't be arsed to log on and watch it for 20 minutes or so, obviously they're not that close- so why invite them and spend money on their food etc? Why not just invite people who actually are excited to see you get married, it seems such a waste. We had a small wedding and it was great, didn't bother inviting people we thought would just come out of obligation or whatever.