Thought this man was rude but AIBU

[Wowzaaa2020]

So just for context live on a large new build estate, the grounds are absolutely immaculate. We have an artificial grass garden which gives way to our own tarmac drive.

So me and DD(4) were playing football on the grass with bare feet. DD kicked ball onto our tarmac drive so we ended up passing the ball back and forth on the drive.

An old man walks passed staring so I gave a friendly hello, he said straight away “I hope there’s no glass about” and looked at DD feet. I explained that we had just came off the grass and I had asked if she wanted to put shoes on but she didn’t want to. He then turns around and says “monkey see, monkey do” looking at my feet! I said I beg your pardon he said “well monkey see, monkey do” I just said “how rude!” then turned my back on him.

I understand if you were being extremely picky she should have shoes on but it is our own tarmac drive which is absolutely immaculate and we had just come off the turf. AIBU to tell him he was being rude?

Goodness. We hardly ever wear shoes in our garden. Very rude and none of his business.

I wouldn't have explained. I would just have shouted "it's fine, no glass". He was being a bit nosey, but monkey see monkey do isn't intended as an insult where I'm from.

he's not worth your time, you weren't hurting anyone - how rude!

None of his business but I don't know why you felt the need to explain yourself to him - you should have just laughed it off and left it at that

It's a fairly common phrase which isn't usually associated with veiled insults so I'd just forget about it

i would have ignored it and not even given it a second thought, the phrase is that the issue ?

Does it really matter op?it's been and gone,why are you still thinking about it?

Yes he was rude, people are sometimes, don't give him any more headspace, it's not worth it

Well only you know the tone but it sounds like a bit of a nost joke to me, and it was you that overreacted.

I wouldn’t have explained. He was incredibly rude and his comments could be interpreted as racist too, he’s basically called you monkeys.

Gosh, older men make comments like this all the time. They just know best and us silly women need to accept it.

YANBU obviously, everybody is a critic...

None of his business, I walk to my local shop barefoot! (a tad extreme but I hate shoes). Rude man

I wouldn't have bothered explaining to him either, nosey git

@KarmaStar

Does it really matter op?it's been and gone,why are you still thinking about it?

This ^^

You shouldn't have to ask the internet such an obvious question.

If anything like that happens again just roll your eyes.

OK.

Why does he think there's glass around? How bizzare

He sounds incredibly rude an nosy IMO. You did nothing wrong and it's your property anyway?

I’d have simply said ‘No, it’s fine. Don’t worry’ and smile politely.

No biggy.

The comparison to animals just seemed a rude statement to make to a mother infront of her 4 year old daughter that was standing there listening.

I agree that there was no need to explain myself in the beginning but this is a friendly neighbourhood so just seemed the normal thing to do. Will definitely raise my boundaries in future.

None of his business but maybe he is just friendly or lonely or has poor social skills.

It would have bothered me but I would just have said "yes, ok" or something non committal.

he wasnt literally comparing you to an animal though, it's just a phrase.

It's a phrase that's been around for as long as I can remember.

He wasn't personally calling you and your daughter monkeys.

Glad your estate is immaculate though fake grass is an abomination

I’m pretty sure the “monkey see, monkey do” will be linked to the “see no evil, hear no evil, say no evil” saying, which has historically usually been depicted with monkeys. I think an interfering busy body rather than potentially racist. He was probably bored or lonely and trying to start a conversation but accidentally triggered you. Personally, I doubt he was interested in your safety and was (delightfully!) projecting his view on life onto you.

I find other people‘s interference hugely irritating. I still remember ignoring my wailing toddler in the supermarket trolley as any interaction only escalated him...cue numerous people usually at least a generation older than me coming over to “interact, help, judge” (who knows why!) and I would quietly go, “please leave him as he’s fine, will calm down very soon but any interaction will escalate him”...they would invariably ignore me & interact with him in a variety of ways...and scuttle off leaving me to deal with the inevitable escalation! Even worse with my youngest who had a wail akin to a fog horn and would go on & on & on... people’s judgemental looks and comments drove me nuts... I was nearly a decade older but then though so I used to play “irritating ducker” bingo and it would make me laugh inside rather than grind me teeth!

I’m currently following Mel Robbins & holistic psychologist on Facebook and am currently trying to work on accepting that someone’s behaviour is a reflection on them and my reaction is a reflection on where I’m at...easier said than done!

Hope you had a lovely ball game.

Yea it was rude - try to shrug it off though & ignore him next time.

I would have ignored him completely.

He was very rude but no answer at all was what he deserved.

Meh, I think he was trying to be nice and offer a warning, but it came across wrong to you.

Don't be a snowflake and just let it go.