Thought this man was rude but AIBU

[Wowzaaa2020]

So just for context live on a large new build estate, the grounds are absolutely immaculate. We have an artificial grass garden which gives way to our own tarmac drive.

So me and DD(4) were playing football on the grass with bare feet. DD kicked ball onto our tarmac drive so we ended up passing the ball back and forth on the drive.

An old man walks passed staring so I gave a friendly hello, he said straight away “I hope there’s no glass about” and looked at DD feet. I explained that we had just came off the grass and I had asked if she wanted to put shoes on but she didn’t want to. He then turns around and says “monkey see, monkey do” looking at my feet! I said I beg your pardon he said “well monkey see, monkey do” I just said “how rude!” then turned my back on him.

I understand if you were being extremely picky she should have shoes on but it is our own tarmac drive which is absolutely immaculate and we had just come off the turf. AIBU to tell him he was being rude?

“I hope there’s no glass about” For goodness sake, he was just making a concerned comment and all you needed to do was say there isn't.

I had to look up the term 'Monkey see, monkey do' as I'd never heard of it. I don't think he was being rude at all. Just an older person with concerns.

He was incredibly rude and his comments could be interpreted as racist too, he’s basically called you monkeys.
Stop being ridiculous. Not everything to do with monkeys is about race. Only someone with a bloody great chip on their shoulder would misinterpret it that way.

It is about copying or mimicking behaviour without realising the consequences. He is worried that OP's child might just copy playing barefoot somewhere else and actually hurt their feet (on something like glass).

Clearly you’ve not much to worry about, he was making a point you seem to have missed completely who plays in their front garden anyway. Some older people just have firm ideas about things no big deal don’t think he was rude at all

He shook my hand back with the most floppy handshake and said thank you sweetheart with the creepiest look I have ever seen! I just told DH that I went outside to apologise as I saw him passing. DH now annoyed that I’ve been outside to talk to him without telling him while he was putting DC to bed and said I need to be careful as he could be a dangerous.
Omg. Yes. He's right. He could have abducted you and carried you home and cut you into little pieces.

Get a grip. You see rudeness where there was probably either a concerned man (maybe a grandfather as another poster said) or a lonely one looking for a little conversation with a neighbour. Now he has become some dangerous predator yet he didn't look creepy the first time you saw him.

I'd be more worried that I had a controlling bastard of a husband a DH with severe anxiety at being out of his sight for a few minutes.

YABU to even give this a second thought. What a mundane life you must lead

PlanDeRaccordement

To me, he sounds like he’s a bit senile. I would not give it a second thought.
FFS. He quoted a saying which he used in context yet you think he sounds senile?

I’m actually quite cross on the old man’s behalf.

Omg I’ve just seen that the poor man is now a creepy stalking potential kidnapper/mad axe murderer for daring to walk past your house at a time you deem too late and for being reluctant to shake your hand properly in the middle of a pandemic! If anyone’s weird and nosey it’s you. You really need to get out more OP.

Sorry - you’re afraid that you have a stalker? You ran out at night to chase after HIM, then after you make your apology accuse him of being creepy?! You need to step back - you’re acting a bit crazy here. Poor guy, all he was concerned about was glass on your little ones feet. If I were him, I would be weary of you.

I don't think he was rude- it's just a phrase.

Mind you its highly unlikely I'd ever get to the stage where I was have a conversation with someone after their passing comment, so sent know what I'd feel really.

I'd have just said dismissively "oh yes, hope not" to his glass comment.

Omg 😂 you're tracking what time he normally passes your house, ran out to him when he passed, but you think HE comes across as a weird stalker? Poor guy.

Also WHAT were you thinking shaking someone's hand??

I'd have just smiled and ignored him. Not worth thinking about.

@Wowzaaa2020

Just an update - Saw said man passing my house again late tonight it was 8:45pm and thought it was uncharacteristic (or maybe thinking too much into it) so felt bad that maybe he was avoiding me and doing his local shop late now instead of passing during the day (we’re always in the garden). Ran out and said excuse me and apologised for the other day, explained that with everything going on in the World maybe I was a little sensitive and shook his hand. He shook my hand back with the most floppy handshake and said thank you sweetheart with the creepiest look I have ever seen! I just told DH that I went outside to apologise as I saw him passing. DH now annoyed that I’ve been outside to talk to him without telling him while he was putting DC to bed and said I need to be careful as he could be a dangerous.

Totally missed the OPs update when I posted earlier.

You know who is more likely to be a weirdo/stalker in this situation is situation? The person who knows when another person usual does things, in enough detail know if it's uncharacteristic.

Your over thinking started just after his original comment.

There's a good change the (interpreted as) "creepiest look" was due to the fact that he's clueless as to what the heck you're on about. Such a tiny unimportant exchange is properly so incidental he might not recall it.

Also "floppy" handshake due it being something to avoid at the money and being lost as to why some weirdo/stalker was giving him a handshake.

As for your husband. Also weirdo territory. (Though not starker, I'll give him that.)

OMG you shook his hand 😲😲😲

The poor man is now probably scared shitless of you, first attacking him verbally for using a phrase that is about since the year dot and then shaking his hand in the middle of a pandemic.

You should now wait in your garden with hand sanitiser and when he comes by again, give him a good aul squirt.

Not everything is racist! It's a saying that's been around for years. why does everyone take offense these days, it's getting so boring!!! Yawn!!!

Why on earth did you shake his hand? He's elderly and vulnerable. There's a pandemic. Are you crazy?

No idea what you just said CherryValanc as your reply was unintelligible

I’m over 50, recognise the phrase, but would never use it to people I don’t know.
I understand it, and its origins, but it has the potential to cause offence with no gain to the phrase user.
I would not however have either apologised to the man, nor shaken his hand which he clearly did not want shaken.
However OP, I am not you, so I hope you have made peace with your decision.

He was incredibly rude and his comments could be interpreted as racist too, he’s basically called you monkeys.

Do you think that saying 'cat that got the cream" is calling someone a cat?
Do you think that saying someone is a "night owl" is calling someone an owl?

Why on Earth would you shake his hand FFS? 🤦🏻‍♀️ I mean the risk is tiny but it's just such a dumb thing to do.

Not his circus, not his monkeys!

@Wowzaaa2020

No idea what you just said CherryValanc as your reply was unintelligible

Unintelligible, 😄

Ok, sorry, I can see why one word autocorrting incorrectly in one sentence (money should have been moment) might cause you to not understand anything.

I'll try again, simply:

You seem to think he might be a stalker. However, you are more a stalker than he is, you have watched him enough to know his routine. He was just walking down the road.

You over-thought his comment about the glass. It didn't warrant a response.

You said he gave "the creepiest look". I doubt he did. It was probably a confused look as he had no idea why you came out your house and accosted him to shake his hand during his evening walk.

I doubt the old man had any idea who you were or what you were talking about, because the early exchange you had with him is such an insignificant event it isn't memorable.

His handshake was "flobby" because he had no idea why you were shaking his hand. Add to the fact that shaking hands isnt the done thing at the moment and he didn't want to. (Because there's a pandemic.)

I suggested your husband is a weird as you. What you wrote about him does not suggest normal thinking. But it seems he's just a weirdo, not a stalker like you.

HTH.

@Wowzaaa2020 no @CherryValanc response was not unintelligible at all, they made sense and it was easy to understand?

Do you think you often misunderstand things/situations?

[quote Pittapitta]@Wowzaaa2020* no *@CherryValanc response was not unintelligible at all, they made sense and it was easy to understand?

Do you think you often misunderstand things/situations?[/quote]
It does seem that way...

@CherryValanc if someone comes charging at you with an apology and a handshake, don't worry it's just OP. And her DH will be along shortly afterwards to make sure you're not an axe murderer.

Only one weirdy stalker on this thread.
It's not the neighbour.

I have both "monkey see monkey do" and "not my circus not my monkeys" on the official list for English language exams (idiomatic expressions) that I teach.
The kids have pointed out that the second one is a bit odd, as it's more likely to be "not my circus not my performing seals" etc.