To think when you go out to a restaurant you should pay for your own meal?

[Kelcat9494]

Hello,

I think I'm just a bit annoyed, last night we went out as a family of seven (in laws and DH grandma) as it was her birthday, as I've been very poorly with sickness my husband and I shared everything whilst everyone else got their own meal, the bill came to £110ish and we decided to chip in for grandma as it was her birthday so per couple it was £37.00 - I didn't think much of it last night as I got really sick but I worked out that our meal only cost £21.55 which meant we spend £15.45 on grandma while the other two couples only spent an extra £1, I just think we should have paid for our own and then spilt grandmas bill between the three couples. I don't mind paying for her of course but it just doesn't seem very fair.

I think I'm just bitter because I barely ate anything haha just needed a moan

You’ve worked it out to the penny..... that seems a bit tight tbh, it wouldn’t even cross my mind.

And the other two people there decided we'd split the bill three ways to cover the birthday persons a meal. I wouldn't have minded had I been pre warned.

Wow. I would never expect the birthday boy / girl to pay for their meal, and you begrudge paying for 1/3 of it after helping them celebrate? I’m glad you’re not my friend!

@19lottie82

You’ve worked it out to the penny..... that seems a bit tight tbh, it wouldn’t even cross my mind.

I worked out what I paid and took it off the full bill, it wasn't exactly hard - like said if it was a few pounds different it doesn't matter but over £15 difference when the other couples paid a £1 extra seems unfair, again I'm not that bothered but don't say something is fair and equal when it's not 😂

Why can't the U.K. just keep up with other countries in this regard? When we eat out the servers ask who's with who for the bill and if you say it's couples and splitting grandmas they can easily do that on the till.
If they don't ask it tends to come out itemized per person with a group total at the end. It's so easy with computerized tills now.

Split the bill equally and stop being tight. It’s £15 not £150. It's people who know they've spent more than others and then want to split the bill rather than putting in what they owe who are tight.

@19lottie82

And the other two people there decided we'd split the bill three ways to cover the birthday persons a meal. I wouldn't have minded had I been pre warned.

Wow. I would never expect the birthday boy / girl to pay for their meal, and you begrudge paying for 1/3 of it after helping them celebrate? I’m glad you’re not my friend!

Well it's fine if it's always been the group process. But if no one did it before (say for your birthday) or usually only done if say 10 of you out, then suddenly having to spend an extra 33% is a bit much.

Yabvu.
In my own opinion anyway I’d split the bill whether I had a salad or a five course meal.

@Youbigdosser

Yabvu. In my own opinion anyway I’d split the bill whether I had a salad or a five course meal.

Wow, so let's say hypothetically you had a salad and some water and all the people you were with had a five course meal, you'd happily pay £100+ for a salad and water? Sounds like you have too much disposable income 😂😂😂 bet people love going out with you.

@Kelcat9494
& I bet people hate going out with you.
You wouldn’t get my company again if you did this. I think £37 for two people to eat out is cheap tbf and you went home and worked out what you had to the penny? Don’t bother going next time.

[quote Youbigdosser]@Kelcat9494
& I bet people hate going out with you.
You wouldn’t get my company again if you did this. I think £37 for two people to eat out is cheap tbf and you went home and worked out what you had to the penny? Don’t bother going next time.[/quote]
Except I haven't mentioned anything? Oh well, I'll stay at home with my £15 and penny pinching ways

[quote Youbigdosser]@Kelcat9494
& I bet people hate going out with you.
You wouldn’t get my company again if you did this. I think £37 for two people to eat out is cheap tbf and you went home and worked out what you had to the penny? Don’t bother going next time.[/quote]
Which is fine if you only socialize with people who are well off. But what if op had saved all month to come out with you, and ordered a salad and water specifically so she could still join in. Then the bill comes and she's told she has to pay £75 because that's an equal share?

@SleepingStandingUp
Let’s be realistic, in the ops situation. I would never go out to celebrate someone’s birthday and then go home and work out why I paid £9 more than everyone else and moan it was unfair.

I was thinking of the salald and 5 courseeal thing more specifically,also of you not op. I'm ops case, given she didn't order, I would have been saying well we need to split the bill by 7 and Nannas by 8. I wouldn't have expected her to pay a share of mine when she didn't order any food

I just find sitting there and calculating it all ruins an enjoyable, laid back dining experience.

And I find having to subsidise other people's evening ruins an enjoyable evening.

[quote Youbigdosser]@SleepingStandingUp
Let’s be realistic, in the ops situation. I would never go out to celebrate someone’s birthday and then go home and work out why I paid £9 more than everyone else and moan it was unfair.[/quote]
To clarify I should have been clearer in the original post and said ON THIS OCCASION, usually we don't spilt the bill but if everyone had their own meals and everyone paid a similar amount then splitting the bill is fine but for one person to pay £15 more and for other people to pay £1 more is a bit unfair 🤷‍♀️ again, this might be my own expectation as I wouldn't feel right if I paid a £1 and someone paid £15 and I had more but i didn't exactly go home and work it out to the penny, when I woke up this morning I thought £40 was a bit steep for one curry so I used a calculator and took what I ordered off the bill ... don't know why people are suggesting that's difficult. I'm not mentioning it to anyone or kicking off and demanding my grandma regurgitate her tea back up and give it back to me, I'm just annoyed it was sprung on us at the last minute, it was an unfair amount and I had a moan 🤷‍♀️

At the end of the days it's £15, it's unfair but it's whatever.

@Kelcat9494 maybe nobody realised you didnt order anything.They seen you eating,so automatically added you in to the bill.

We’ve had this drama with big family meals. The main issue being I don’t drink when out, nor does my DH, and in the early days the bill would be split between couples, but we seemed to be then subbing everyone else’s booze which can come to more than the meal itself. I ended up putting my foot down and when we go out now we just pay for our own meal. Don’t think it’s made us very popular, as I can sense some of the family are a bit bemused by it, but I used to feel annoyed by it so stressed out in the lead up to the meal. Now I can just enjoy the meal without watching how many bottles of wine we’re paying for.

Livelovebehappy I agree with you, my post earlier where I stated we split the bill was because the folks I go out with consume and drink like I do. I wouldnt dare expect a pregnant friend or non drinking friend to pay the same. That is shit and it shouldnt be up for discussion that you pay less...

I've posted this before but have been out in the past to an Italian restaurant with friends of friends. We all had pasta. They had the pollo a la crema type things - hugely different in price. Drinks separate but the food bill was split. Those who had steak / chicken were happily putting in their much lower than cost of their meal contribution. I couldn't put in £10 knowing I'd ordered a £18 dish. I seethed as I paid £10 for my £5.95 pasta (think lunchtime deal). It's rude to pay less than you've had and benefit from others. It just is.

Paying for your own is fairer but can be a pita and long-winded to work out and sometimes theres a shortfall. Generally I prefer to just divide it equally unless its obvious theres a been big difference in what people have eaten and drunk. Just chalk it up to experience , sometimes you win sometimes you loose. In future say you are on a budget and just pay for what you've had.

sometimes you win sometimes you loose.

The thing is for many of us it isn't sometimes you win, sometimes you loose, it's every time you loose. That's why I hate it. I'm vegan, my meal.is always cheaper than the majority of people's, there's rarely a dessert I can have (and actually even if there is I'm not paying £6 for one!) and I don't drink more than one drink when out for a meal. I've paid more than double what I should before and with people I wouldn't be eating out again with anyway, so no chance to 'win' next time.