To let you into a secret about being slim.....

[Yellow1793]

I’m 5’2” and an untoned size 10. Over the last year or so (lockdown excluded) I’ve spent extended amounts of time with 4 different female friends, who are all taller, slimmer and considerably more toned than me. Aside from the fact that they all exercise at least 5 times a week, they also eat like birds. Their lifestyle revolves around making healthy choices, every single day, and I’m beginning to wonder if you do this consistently if you just stop feeling hungry. One of them regularly skips lunch. Another never has more than 2 glasses of alcohol in one sitting. Another always eats about 30% less than I do.....last time I was with her she had a small pasta portion for her lunch whilst serving me 3x the amount of pasta she had AND 2 sausages. No wonder she is tiny. None of them calorie count or talk about diets because their lifestyle choice is one big diet. I’d love to have their discipline.

I wonder if thin people just aren’t as interested in food. And as they are then naturally slimmer, they find exercise easy, and it’s a circle. Whereas many heavier people are more interested in food, so get fatter, and then find exercise more difficult so the weight piles on.

I’m a wee fat person (5ft 2, size 16-18) and always want to eat: always feel hungry. My taller sister has never really been interested in food: she would forget to eat until my mum reminded her: she’s about 5ft 10, size 10.

Have one piece of cake a day instead of the whole cake

I’ve often wondered if it is better (or at least the same) to eat the whole cake so it is gone, then not have any more cake for the rest of the week. It’s the same total calories.

I wonder if thin people just aren’t as interested in food.

Some aren’t. I love food and cooking.

sergeilarov “one of my most shameful moments” please don’t say this or blame yourself. You weren’t ready to be open about your condition.
I know how hard it is. You are right it’s a condition or state of mind to be managed - you can’t eliminate it.
I wish you all the very best.

It was a family joke how much (and in what combination) I could eat - and drink. It was just my metabolism. I got older and it got slower.

I'm on another thread atm about weight loss, so this one jumped out at me. I think your slim friends' experience, OP, seems to show that the only 'diet' that works (on average - there will always be people who say, quite truthfully, that they never exercise and eat for three, and yet stay slim) is the one that you can stick to forever. So, moderation: choices that prioritise water and lots of veg over wine and cake, not using food as a reward or fetishising it as a treat, saying no (most of the time) to seconds, sugar and snacks. That doesn't mean a joyless existence, with no cake on birthdays. It means using food as a delicious fuel for life. Hopefully a long and healthy one because you are not carrying excess weight.

As for the 'life is too short' comments: well, each to their own. I find life more pleasurable when I feel good about my weight and shape, and can fit into my favourite trousers with a bit of room to spare. For me that means a weight around 58kg (I'm 5'5" and a smidge) and a BMI of no more that 21.

It's a secret that the fewer calories you consume, the less you weigh? OK...

I’ve often wondered if it is better (or at least the same) to eat the whole cake so it is gone, then not have any more cake for the rest of the week. It’s the same total calories.

Umm..how can it be better to push a whole cake down in one sitting in order to prevent yourself being tempted? That's disordered eating and thinking right there, surely?

*Both of them (like my sister) will have a packet of crisps -eat 1/3 and put them in the fridge. Then the next day another 1/3 and so on.......
My sister will take a bar of chocolate and cut it up into individual pieces -put each bit in cling film and have one a day as her "treat" or the 1/3 packet of crisps. *

What's wrong with this? I eat chocolate like this - a couple of squares at a time and not every day.

I stick to 1200 calories when I need to lose weight.I do it for as long as it takes to lose what I want and ive lost a stone in 10 weeks so far.The more you eat the more you want

It's boring though isn't it. To not be able to have cake with friends. Or have a bacon sandwich. It's about who you are as a person. As long as you are healthy and not obese it's ok. No it's not the healthiest to be a little bit overweight or not be toned. But we can't all be those perfect people.

Women are so obsessed with bodies and diets. We all put ourselves down constantly. Always say we are naughty for a treat. Always trying out new fads. Sometimes it's just your genetics.

My sister has been dieting and spending money on allsorts for 2 years. Despite the fact she's being so good. She is still overweight. She walks everywhere. She works on a farm. She makes juices and smoothies full of fruit and veg for her dinner. She's cut loads of stuff out. She eats healthy meals. Occasional treat. Still fat! It makes no sense.

Starving yourself and working out is obsessive. It's only healthy if you do it properly.

Perhaps I worded that badly @BorsetshireBlueBalls

I meant in terms of the total calories. I can take or leave cake. Crisps are my big weakness. If I bought a large bag and ate the whole thing because I wanted to, but didn’t have crisps for the next five days, is that the same as having one small bag of crisps every day for the same total calories?

If the OP is a size 10, aren't they slim too

Going on the experience of my own body, the way your body uses calories is a big factor in feeling hungry.

When in a job that requires min 6+ hours of full on physical work. Not only am I burning calories like a lit match, I also do not feel hungry, when I eat meals I feel full quickly. So my calorie intake is not a lot. At times I've had to graze calorific food on an evening because I was continually losing too much wieght. during the day I can easily have 1 slice of toast at 5.30am and not eat again until 1.30pm even then it would be something like half a cheese sandwich maybe a full one or some sort of salad.

When I have a sit down job or not working.
I feel starving all the time. I feel faint and shaky if I'm not eating something every
hour or so, I get the stomach ache, hungry empty feeling. quite often I I'll feel fatigued during the day and wiped out.

So for me movement is absolutely key, I believe my body moves from burning consumed calories and constantly needing me to have easy use calories readily available for my body, To passing some sort of Wall (I hear 'The wall' used in marathon runners) Were my body switches to burning calories stored in my body. Once the switch is made hunger, craving, faintness are no longer a problem as I think my body is not worried about running out of instant calories.

Currently been furloughed I have piled on the pounds, and no amount of will power gets me to stop feeling hungry, shaky and faint if I try not to snack. doing a burst of exercise (an hour or two a day) does nothing to stop my hunger and fatigue.

I.Need.to.get.back.to.work. it's better for my health and fitness.

Oh god this again. I am super slim and I don't eat like a bird. I drink wine and last night I have 3 packets of crisps and 3 bars of chocolate but I have soup for lunch and a light enough dinner
I walk a bit but that is it. If I feel I am packing on the pounds I cut back a bit
To be honest most of the people I know eat WAY MORE than they realise. They would have a dinner cooking their dinner

Also mid 40's so not young.

@BorsetshireBlueBalls

I’ve often wondered if it is better (or at least the same) to eat the whole cake so it is gone, then not have any more cake for the rest of the week. It’s the same total calories.

Umm..how can it be better to push a whole cake down in one sitting in order to prevent yourself being tempted? That's disordered eating and thinking right there, surely?

I know I was thing exactly the same BorsetshireBlueBalls. I’m a bit disappointed in you, purple. You are usually quite sensible and make intelligent contributions to threads. Indeed in this one you pointed out to someone earlier that bandying the word “anorexic” around as though it’s a joke, is harmful (to women in the main).

There will be people with over-eating disorders who read what you wrote who really think that’s how slim people eat.

It was a bit irresponsible of you I’m afraid.

The secret to being slim is to never be fat in the first place. I don't know anyone who has been overweight and then managed to remain slim for a long time. Once your body has produced those fat cells they are there under the surface craving and ready to be filled in an instant!

Women I know who remain a healthy weight eat normally- they don't generally have big indulgent sessions often but enjoy their food, can go out for a meal and eat it all but eat healthily when at home. They don't drink excessively but enjoy a few glasses, or share a bottle of wine at weekends in a social situation, they exercise regularly. They don't think about eating cake and chocolate all the time or crave unhealthy food a lot!

Women I know who are really slim don't each much- they pick at their food and leave a lot!

Mmh there is some true to what you are saying.
I am slim, I eat what I want (definitely not always healthy food!) but then I don't eat when I don't feel hungry so usually I don't have breakfast and sometimes skip lunch or just have a piece of toast or a salad.
But then if I fancy a huge lunch I'll have it, without a second thought - I just listen to my body.

Both of them (like my sister) will have a packet of crisps -eat 1/3 and put them in the fridge. Then the next day another 1/3 and so on.......
My sister will take a bar of chocolate and cut it up into individual pieces -put each bit in cling film and have one a day as her "treat" or the 1/3 packet of crisps

What size are the packets of crisps and the chocolate bars?

If they're the standard 30g size crisps and standard 45g chocolate bars, then that behaviour is a bit odd imo.

However, if it's the £1 Grab bags and the £1 large bars that are now seen as 'standard' then it makes perfect sense to me.

Just for the record to anyone who realised diets are bad, but wants to lose or maintain their weight by re-training themselves to eat what they want when they want, if you do like cake (I realise not everyone does).

Most slim people would take the slice of cake a day approach. It’s a paradox to “prove” to yourself that you can have what you wasn’t yo eat/drink whenever you want it. When you e achieved that you no longer really want it, and begin to see food for what it is: fuel.

Oops - Someone rang & I posted anyway. I really should have read & corrected first.

... they are totally wrong to put crisps in the fridge. They go soggy 😂

@PleasePassTheCoffeeThanks

Mmh there is some true to what you are saying. I am slim, I eat what I want (definitely not always healthy food!) but then I don't eat when I don't feel hungry so usually I don't have breakfast and sometimes skip lunch or just have a piece of toast or a salad. But then if I fancy a huge lunch I'll have it, without a second thought - I just listen to my body.

Yes. This is what I was trying to say. Eat when you’re hungry, don’t eat if you’re not hungry. Feel free to skip a meal or forget to eat if you’re not hungry or absorbed in something else. Then food doesn’t become the thing you think about all the time.

OP, that sounds like disordered eating. Serving themselves a tiny amount of pasta whilst serving you x3 as much? Skipping meals? Calorie restricting? It’s not discipline, it’s disordered eating. I’m 5’2” and a U.K. size 6 and I don’t skip meals. It’s not healthy to eat 1000 calories everyday whilst exercising. Please don’t think that all slim women starve themselves, because we don’t.

It's boring though isn't it. To not be able to have cake with friends. Or have a bacon sandwich

Well it depends, if it prevents you meeting with friends at all then sure, but I don't see how meeting them and having something other than cake is by default, not enjoyable or boring.