To let you into a secret about being slim.....

[Yellow1793]

I’m 5’2” and an untoned size 10. Over the last year or so (lockdown excluded) I’ve spent extended amounts of time with 4 different female friends, who are all taller, slimmer and considerably more toned than me. Aside from the fact that they all exercise at least 5 times a week, they also eat like birds. Their lifestyle revolves around making healthy choices, every single day, and I’m beginning to wonder if you do this consistently if you just stop feeling hungry. One of them regularly skips lunch. Another never has more than 2 glasses of alcohol in one sitting. Another always eats about 30% less than I do.....last time I was with her she had a small pasta portion for her lunch whilst serving me 3x the amount of pasta she had AND 2 sausages. No wonder she is tiny. None of them calorie count or talk about diets because their lifestyle choice is one big diet. I’d love to have their discipline.

As other posters have said - some people eat less naturally - it doesn’t have to be about ‘diets’ and ‘discipline’. Some women are controlled thin and some just aren’t very hungry.

I have a friend who is naturally very thin. All her family is slim but none of them do any a lot of exercise.
She eats all sorts of stuff, and would choose more fattening things than me (although she doesnt have s sweet tooth). However she eats really slowly, so if you go out for a meal when everyone else has finished she is only about a third through her food. Then she would eat a few more mouthfuls and leave it as no one wants to be the last one eating at the table. In a more informal setting she would finish things just very slowly.

My observation is that the digestive system has a large part to play. Tmi coming up, but people who are slim but have good appetites are also the ones who make frequent loo trips (not bulimia, simply everything seems to pass through fairly swiftly).

It may in the worst cases be IBS (I would rather be porky than suffer, even if it means I am thin (thin, note, not nice and slim)) but often people just “eliminate” more often than chubbier people.

I think a big problem is our idea of what a normal portion is is so skewed, as well as having no real idea of how many calories are actually in food.

At the start of lockdown I started weighing and tracking everything I ate. I ate exactly the same foods as before (unless I judged them to just not be worth the calories). What I thought was a healthy smallish portion, and what a recommended portion is were wildly different. It's also very hard to eat three meals a day and stay under 1500 calories. It's not impossible, but it is difficult.

The person who said they're obese and would struggle to eat more than 500 cals in one meal should maybe start weighing and tracking everything. 500 calories is nothing! You could very easily eat that in a supermarket sandwich meal deal.

Anyway - just from religiously tracking food I lost 2.5 stone. No exercise, no deprivation. I don't weigh food any more (I think I've reset what I see as normal), but if I start gaining again I will.

None of my slim friends eat snacks. Mealtimes only.

Are they consciously healthy choices or are they just eating what they like to eat?

Are they deliberately under eating or do they just eat according to their appetite.

I am like your friends. I used to have an overeating disorder so 20 years ago I spent a year training myself to get back in touch with my appetite. Now I eat what I like, eat when I am hungry and stop when I am sated. It is a wonderfully stress free life as far as food is concerned. Its not about discipline at all - the complete opposite.

I was 18 stone 3 years ago, I am now 8 stone, I'm slim but not toned due to being so overweight for so long. I got to this weight starting off on a daily calorie intake of 2000 and now try to average around 1500 and my weight has stabilised between 8 and 8.5 stone. I do very little exercise bar walking due to a couple of chronic health conditions. I'm very aware of what goes in my mouth and know the calories off by heart of a lot of things but I still go out for meals, have the odd takeaway, have a few drinks here and there. I'm now a firm believer of everything in moderation rather than starving yourself and skipping meals.

the only thing that pisses me off now is when someone asks me if I should be eating that or oooo watch out you'll be back where you started if you eat those. Fuckers. Some people are never happy with your weight loss!

She is what I would call a highly controlled anorexic.

As opposed to one of those anorexics who don’t control food? Is this woman actually anorexic or are you just being cruel? It’s one of the most lethal mental illnesses. It’s not a description to use lightly.

. Tmi coming up, but people who are slim but have good appetites are also the ones who make frequent loo trips

This is totally not me! I don't think this can be a factor as your body would still not taking the calories from the food whether you excrete once a day or several.

It does make me laugh when slim people or diets say you can eat the food you love and still be slim - there's one massive caveat though - you just can't eat very much of it - and that's not the same thing!
The pizza night where you can only have one slice while everyone else scoffs 4 -6 slices is not eating the food you love - it's not eating enough food!
I can't diet - it triggers binge eating which is bloody awful and very hard to eliminate (I've done it twice now, stupid diet set it off again), so I've learned to love my size 12/14 body and at 5ft 8in, I don't weigh myself and I don't count calories - I fit into clothes. I do have one rule though - no second portions in the evening.
My very slim friends (size 6) exercise daily and food restrict - they seem happy enough.

OP you are talking nonsense. Sometimes it's just genetics. I'm slim , been that way my entire life. I have an enormous appetite.

@midgebabe

Goat, I tried to only have 1200 calories one day ( I was starting to get out of control with the snacks in lockdown ) and you can't have what I would call a big bowl of porridge and fruit and a large salad for that, never mind dinner as well!

Reasonable amount of porridge, careful with the fruit, salad but very little dressing and no potatoes

Your idea of big meals is clearly different from my idea, which is also about 1/3 the size of my overweight aunt. I need around 1800 to 2000 calories a day to stay steady.

A trick to being slim is seeing as "big" meals that don't have you eating too much. I guess that's why they suggest using small plates so your plate looks heaped up

I suppose different people have different ideas on what is a large portion, but I have an appetite that would happily knock back a medium Domino’s pizza in 20mins (obvs I don’t allow myself to do that often, but that gives you a clue that I don’t eat like a sparrow).

I’m helping a friend to manage a 1200 cal diet as she constantly felt hungry on it. She was picking high cal things and only able to have small amounts and then was left unsatisfied. I cook my porridge in water, I prefer it that way, but I also get more oats for my calorie count than I do if I added milk. The oats keep me full.

I pick whole grains and pulses, brown rice, freekah, quinoa, lentils, chickpeas and fill up on those and have tons of veggies in a tasty sauce. That way, I get big bowls that satisfy me. I use Anna Jones recipes quite a lot (and often I cook her meals that ‘feed 4’ and DH and I eat the lot between us).

I tend not to snack because that would mean I get less ‘meal’. I exercise a lot and burn lots of calories, so if I’m hungry or really fancy something, I never limit myself to 1200, but am quite content that I know it balances out, because I stick to 1200-1400 most work days and rarely go above 2000 on other days.

I love food and I love cooking. Food is definitely not just fuel to me. Nothing is specifically excluded from my diet unless I don't like the taste or texture.

I'm slim. 5'6" and maintain a healthy 8st 4 or close. Size 6. I have been bigger. The 'secret' is everything in moderation. You don't need to diet if you don't let yourself get fat.

DD is slim and the main difference with her and the rest of the family is that she only eats when hungry and if she’s busy she forgets to eat. She does enjoy nice food but only if hungry and as soon as she starts to feel full she will just stop and nothing can tempt her to eat more, whereas I can squeeze in dessert most times.
She has always just been like that, even from very smal

The pizza night where you can only have one slice while everyone else scoffs 4 -6 slices is not eating the food you love - it's not eating enough food!

Or you eat what you want that night but eat a bit more carefully for a few days afterwards.

I go by the 80:20 eating “rule”. Eat well most of the time and don’t feel bad about the rest.

I use Anna Jones recipes quite a lot (and often I cook her meals that ‘feed 4’ and DH and I eat the lot between us).

Totally agree! I really like her food but I usually end up doubling everything.

I'm 71. I've been overweight for a long time, but apparently my bone density is "like that of a 7 year old", and my teeth are strong. I compare that to my friends who have spent their lives eating very little but looking gorgeous. All of them now have osteoporosis, and wrinkly saggy body skin (though the latter may be due to sun worshipping)
I'm glad now that I didn't like dieting so I didn't do it much, and I didn't like the sun because I was fair skinned.

I think metabolism comes into play here, when I was younger I never exercised and ate whatever I wanted and was a size 8, even after I had my son I walked out the hospital in pre pregnancy clothes. I was incredibly lucky to have a fast metabolism.. now I still eat a lot, roughly 2400 calories a day and am a size 6-8 but I weight-lift 5 days a week, I am more careful with what I eat, not to stay slim but for health benefits.

There's been some very interesting research into the people who took part in The Biggest Loser - basically, they lost a tremendous amount of weight quickly, and most of them put at least some of it back on quickly after the cameras stopped rolling. Apparently their metabolisms have changed, so they have to have fewer calories than a "normal" person of the same weight to avoid gaining.

See this confuses me because the people I know who are very slim (past 30, post dc) probably don't eat more than 1200 kcals a day & exercise. They are always on a restricted diet despite the fact they were never obese.

I'm 5ft 9 & a small 12, I don't think about what I eat or restrict in anyway but do exercise a couple of times a week. If I wanted to be a size 8 I would need to be very strict.

I was a size 8 when younger but I filled out as I got older & I like having boobs & bum. People have different body ideals as well.

I'm teetering on the cusp of being overweight (BMI 24) so not sure I am slim, but for me it's all about portion control, eat what you want but not too much of it.

There is an odd tone to this thread, as though being slim/skinny is abnormal in some way. It isn't. Up until the late 1970s/1980s a big percentage of the population was slim or even skinny.

People have different body ideals as well.

Definitely, and what’s “in” changes. It was thigh gap before. Now it’s “thick” thighs and a big bum with a tiny waist. Not that I pay much attention!

I have two very slim friends who both socialise and eat out regularly. They will often have two or three courses, and a few drinks. But they don’t drink during the week, and eat well the rest of the time. So if we go for lunch during the week they would choose a salad or soup. I think this is actually a pretty healthy approach.

Unfortunately I’m short and gain weight very easily so it no longer works for me since I have got older. I have to be very strict to maintain my weight, and the only way I am able to lose the lockdown pounds is with no sugar and no alcohol at all. Tough when the weather is good and I’d like nothing more than a G&T or ice cream in the garden, but worth it to me.

"Life's too short" - yeah it will be even shorter if you end up with serious health problems due to obesity.

Everything in moderation. Have one piece of cake a day instead of the whole cake. Have chips once a week, not every day. Eat one sausage roll, not a pack of 6.