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AIBU?

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Original poster

To let you into a secret about being slim.....

788 replies

Yellow1793 · 06/08/2020 23:19

I’m 5’2” and an untoned size 10. Over the last year or so (lockdown excluded) I’ve spent extended amounts of time with 4 different female friends, who are all taller, slimmer and considerably more toned than me. Aside from the fact that they all exercise at least 5 times a week, they also eat like birds. Their lifestyle revolves around making healthy choices, every single day, and I’m beginning to wonder if you do this consistently if you just stop feeling hungry. One of them regularly skips lunch. Another never has more than 2 glasses of alcohol in one sitting. Another always eats about 30% less than I do.....last time I was with her she had a small pasta portion for her lunch whilst serving me 3x the amount of pasta she had AND 2 sausages. No wonder she is tiny. None of them calorie count or talk about diets because their lifestyle choice is one big diet. I’d love to have their discipline.

OP posts:
Samedaysameshit · 17/01/2021 01:55

The only time I lose weight is when I run 35+ miles a week
I can regulate my eating, I can be arsed.
But if I run that much I just can’t seem to eat enough to compensate for the calories burnt.
But...
As soon as I drop my miles I end up where I started.

WhenPidgeonsCry · 17/01/2021 02:01

So the secret is that your slim friends eat less food, drink less alcohol and do more exercise?

Holy shit. Don't let the big secret out!

BeaSmithers · 17/01/2021 02:06

@WhenPidgeonsCry Spot on! Eat less, move more. It's not rocket science is it

Sinful8 · 17/01/2021 02:09

@WhenPidgeonsCry

So the secret is that your slim friends eat less food, drink less alcohol and do more exercise?

Holy shit. Don't let the big secret out!

Dot be silly and make it sound sensible you've got to phrase it in some patronising passive aggressive way like "eat like birds".
bakereld · 17/01/2021 02:10

First of all, what's wrong with being slim?

Second of all, why is it a shock that slim people generally control their food portions and eating habits?

I'm 5'2, 48kg, I count my calories and work out. Looking at me you'd think I ate 'healthily', but my diet is trash! I eat chocolate everyday, crisps etc, but I allocate them into my daily calorie allowance because I want to remain slim. Why is this such an issue for some people? Not all of us rely on 'bird food' to remain a lower weight.

GodOfPhwoar · 17/01/2021 02:23

Hell hath no fury like a fat woman scorned....

Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 02:23

I personally think life's too short but...everyone is different.

One of my best friends eats us under the table but just has a fast metabolism and a healthy weight. I have a terrible under eating diet - little appetite and genuinely not a lot of interest in food and I maintain an alright weight. Some people diet and still put on weight. Everyone's different.

MusicalTrifleMonkey · 17/01/2021 02:31

@Sinful8 the mad thing is that birds eat about half their own body weight every single day. Now THATS a diet I’m interested in....

Sinful8 · 17/01/2021 02:32

[quote MusicalTrifleMonkey]@Sinful8 the mad thing is that birds eat about half their own body weight every single day. Now THATS a diet I’m interested in....[/quote]
Really!?

Fuck, I feel a bit mean for not topping up the feeder since it was raining now Blush

Dasher789 · 17/01/2021 02:34

I agree. Slim people just do tend to have more discipline

Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 02:41

@Dasher789

I agree. Slim people just do tend to have more discipline
Not the case at all, and quite dangerous.
BaggoMcoys · 17/01/2021 02:59

I am 33 and have been a healthy weight for most of my life. My height is 5'4 and I'm usually a size 8. I've had a very stressful time over the last few years and unintentionally got to under 6 stone which made me a size 4 - I did eat like a bird in that time tbf, but it was stress, not dieting. I'm now about 7 stones ish, a size 6, and aiming to get back to about 8-8.5 stone and to be size 8.

Besides that time I mentioned, I don't think I've ever eaten like a bird. I've never excluded anything, but I've tried to have a fairly balanced diet. I don't put food into good/bad categories which I've seen a lot of people do. I try to listen to my body, so eat when I'm hungry, whenever that is, stop when I'm full. And I don't eat if I'm not hungry.

If I feel I've had too much beige food or something, I'd try to make sure the next day I ate a bit healthier but still something that I enjoy. Like salmon and roast potatoes with a mix of vegetables etc.

I have never been a big snacker. Something I noticed about my ex (who struggled with his weight at times) was that he did snack a lot, and it wasn't always because he was hungry, it was just more of a routine. I do eat between meals, but only if I'm actually hungry. And usually it would be toast and marmite/peanut butter, or something more substantial than a chocolate bar for example.

I've also always been quite active (when my health hasn't prevented it - I sometimes have mobility issues). I tend to walk to get around when it's possible to do so, generally take the stairs rather than the lift and so on.

I certainly wouldn't choose a green tea over a latte for diet reasons. Mostly because green tea literally makes me vomit, but also because I just wouldn't. I'd order whatever I wanted to order, I wouldn't deprive myself is what I mean.

GodOfPhwoar · 17/01/2021 03:01

@Dasher789

I agree. Slim people just do tend to have more discipline
I’m inclined to agree. Don’t they reckon that medical issues only account for about 5% of obesity cases?

I just don’t see how genes can have gone bad within a couple of generations. Most likely culprit by far is poor diet and an increasingly sedentary population - takeaways etc.

BaggoMcoys · 17/01/2021 04:03

I love food but try to eat sensibly, balanced etc as I said above. I don't know if I'd call it discipline in my case though as it's not difficult for me, whereas I know some people really struggle with that. I think it is easier for some people than others in that sense. There are also people who just don't really enjoy food and don't have discipline at all, it's just down to chance that they don't take pleasure in eating.

I think increased obesity is due to lifestyle or there would have been more of a problem in the past. Also in countries today where people have less access to food, yet you don't see any obese starving people. I think it can still be medical in the sense that depression/anxiety induced eating is real, as is food addiction and so on and it's just that we have access to food now that they didn't have in the past which is why so many more people struggle with that. I also think some people do put weight on easier than others because of metabolism etc, but I don't believe when people make claims like they only eat 2 carrots a day and still gain weight.

GodOfPhwoar · 17/01/2021 04:10

As they say, no point in sugar coating it because they’ll eat that as well.

(Sorry)

PearlescentIridescent · 17/01/2021 04:37

I don't think you need to eat dreadfully little to be slim.

I am not slim yet but I have lost a lot of weight in the last year and I do intermittent fasting. I have one big meal and then one very big meal. No deprivation, get to feel genuinely full and even eat something unhealthy if I wish as I have the calorie budget for it.

The only thing I agree with in the OP is that yes it is a lifestyle change. And when I was my biggest and eating like a pig I couldn't imagine being satisfied on less food but if you make the right choices both your appetite and tastes change, so they are not necessarily feeling deprived either.

I do think it helps I don't drink as I have tiny DC and just don't enjoy it much anymore, which helps as alcohol has quite a lot kmof calories.

GoodbyeRosie · 17/01/2021 07:49

It's about your relationship with food isn't it? That's a psychological thing and why SW and WW are only very short term options that rely on failure as a business model.

If eating lots of food, food that is sugary , rich and fatty gives you pleasure then you are going to struggle to stop.

If your lifestyle and day to day commitments leave you too tired and with no time or inclination to exercise, then that's not going to happen either.

I am obese, and whilst not massively happy about it for health and appearance reasons, I would be a damn site more miserable if you took food enjoyment away from me, and made me exercise when I didn't want to.

GinAndTonicOnIt · 17/01/2021 07:57

Eat smaller portions and exercise more abs you'll be slimmer.....

I'm really struggling to understand the big secret?? Surely this is just common sense

GinAndTonicOnIt · 17/01/2021 07:58

And not abs

FippertyGibbett · 17/01/2021 08:01

I got a bit hooked on exercise a couple of years ago and was doing 5-6 hours of exercise a week. I lost weight and was really toned, but I can’t maintain that level of exercise, I don’t have the time or desire anymore.

Notyourcat · 17/01/2021 08:03

I have to agree- the times I’ve been slim I have eaten under 1000 calories a day and exercise d fo at least an hour a day. That said, even that doesn’t seem to be working now.

BeyondMyWits · 17/01/2021 08:12

I used to be fat, I'm slim now. Lost 3 st. The difference between being fat and slim for me seems to be that when I was fat I used to think about food all the time. When slim it doesn't cross my mind often. Sometimes, and this seems so alien to my "old fat brain", I even forget to have lunch.

The way I lost weight was through pure fear. I had a heart attack at 53. Because I was fat and ate crap. I don't do that any more.

Isthisit22 · 17/01/2021 08:12

I am slim and fairly fit. I exercise 2/3 times a week because I enjoy it (outdoor running, etc), it's a social thing and I feel great at the end. I have always eaten small meals often (4 a day usually) and never dieted. Not particularly healthy meals-I eat a lot of bread-but my stomach is small so it's self regulating. It's all about moderation and not over eating.
It is annoying to read all these posts patronisingly suggesting that slim people have no food pleasure. I pretty much eat whatever I want (chocolate everyday etc), I just don't over eat.
Can imagine if some one started a thread suggesting all obese people were a certain way..

MrsSmith2021 · 17/01/2021 08:15

@GodOfPhwoar yes I agree. We often talked about how she could gain weight (she’s been trying as long as I’ve known her) and one of my pieces of advice was to still eat on those non hungry days! Obviously she’s never managed it.

Come to think of it, she also suffers with a health issue that means she can’t eat things like cheese and chocolate. That definitely helps too!

@Bunnyrun5 you’re not wrong and I wish I was more like you. I’m a size 10-12 but am happiest at a comfortable 10. Cheers lockdown. Anyway I have binge eating disorder and currently keep a food diary because I’ve had some abdominal issues and I’m trying to work out my triggers. Anyway, I eat way too much crap. As in too often, rather than portion sizes (at times when I’m not bingeing). There is always at least one treat a day and I’d love to get that down to a couple a week. I eat healthily otherwise (junk food makes me feel like crap, just can’t do it like I used to) so I know it’s my downfall.

MrsSpenserGregson · 17/01/2021 08:21

I don’t think it’s always the case that slim people deliberately restrict themselves. I’m just not arsed about food. I don’t think about food until
I’m hungry, it doesn’t take much to fill me up, and I’m just as happy with oatcakes and cheese / salad as I am with a roast dinner or whatever. I have just never been bothered about food. We are all so different.