To let you into a secret about being slim.....

[Yellow1793]

I’m 5’2” and an untoned size 10. Over the last year or so (lockdown excluded) I’ve spent extended amounts of time with 4 different female friends, who are all taller, slimmer and considerably more toned than me. Aside from the fact that they all exercise at least 5 times a week, they also eat like birds. Their lifestyle revolves around making healthy choices, every single day, and I’m beginning to wonder if you do this consistently if you just stop feeling hungry. One of them regularly skips lunch. Another never has more than 2 glasses of alcohol in one sitting. Another always eats about 30% less than I do.....last time I was with her she had a small pasta portion for her lunch whilst serving me 3x the amount of pasta she had AND 2 sausages. No wonder she is tiny. None of them calorie count or talk about diets because their lifestyle choice is one big diet. I’d love to have their discipline.

I suppose it depends on your goals, mine isn't to be slim!

This subject fascinates me because I was at the very bottom end of a healthy BMI from 16 to 36. Stable weight. I ate till I was full and stopped and never thought about food at all, i drank, ate cakes. (I had 2 babies in that time and left the hospital in my pre pregnancy jeans). Then at 36 i started to gain weight and by 40 i was at the very top of the healthy BMI. I seem to have re-stabalised again as i havent changed for 3 years.

And as much as MN is full of people saying thin people must be denying themselves of lifes pleasires (i wasnt) it also seems full of people who talk about very unhealthy diets, take outs, drinking (i stopped drinking, my diets is the same types of foods)

I’d say I am a plump 12 at the moment. I’ve been a slim 10. I’m far happier slimmer and don’t really get this “life’s too short” mentality. Life’s too short to feel like I do now - lumpy and ill fitting clothes. This thread has been good to help me get back into the right mindset to do something about it.

OP you won’t ever get many slim people confirming this as seen with pps saying they eat loads but are super skinny. In reality they do eat a smaller amount, self regulate, skip a meal if they’ve eaten a large one previously as they simply don’t feel hungry etc. I do agree teens and 20s you can eat loads and be skinny but that’s a function of age.

Generally I agree with you that slim people have different habits, they may or may not realise it.

How old are you and your friends OP? Because there comes a time you choose arse or face. I choose face and enjoy all the decadent things that keep it fat and wrinkle free.

This is quite the BS old trope. When I was overweight I looked distinctly middle aged, even though I was still in my 30s. My face lost it's bone structure and I wasn't even particularly wrinkle free. As a 5'1" size 4-6, in my 40s my face looks significantly younger. My cheekbones look lifted compared to when they were lost under too much fat. My lips look fuller as they are proportionally a larger part of my face. And my eyes look bigger and brighter. Admittedly, as better as my face looks at a normal healthy weight, my arse does indeed look truly marvellous. Not because I'm skinny, that would just make it look a bit flat. But because it's all lean, toned muscle and it's gone back to being as high and round as (if not higher and rounder than) it was when I was 21.

It's also full of patronising slim people, who have never struggled with food addiction (let's call it what it is), intent on educating the poor obese stupid masses how they could be just like them if they would only try. Annoying, isn't it?

Also life’s not too short to change the way you eat if eating is linked to things like comfort, emotional eating, time stressed eating, lack of education/access. That’s 20-40 years or more of carrying around excess weight that affects your lifestyle, how you feel about how you look etc

It’s a lack of control over your eating, it’s not necessarily the way you would eat if it was simply to satisfy hunger or even to enjoy food as you don’t have to eat large quantities for that.

I’m the same as Today.

I think with me it is the alcohol. It is sooo calorific. I have really cut it down and try not to have wine until the weekend now. As for food that is not so much a problem. A friend commented that I don’t eat that much and I rarely finish a meal. But yes, I love butter, cream and wine! I need to lose a lot of weight and realise it is down to good habits which I need to get into. And start swimming again.

After years of dieting (never been massively overweight but I am small and could always lose half a stone), I think the secret is to “eat what you want” but you need to change the “what you want” to healthier things. If I think I can’t have a biscuit then all I want is biscuits but if my fucks is somewhere else e.g. trying to eat X number of veg a day (a positive rather than negative ) then I’m less focused on denying myself and if I know that I can have a treat whenever I want it then I’m less likely to have one

In the summer months I look at everyone’s nice clothes and slim figures and wonder when I will ever get mine! I had a gastric band fitted last year and Im still fat 5.1 and 13 stone. I would kill to be a size 10 op x

Fucks = focus ...obvs

It's not a secret. Every week there is a thread like this.

You've just described my SiL. Very healthy but everything revolves round not eating/eating less. She definitely has a very unhealthy relationship with food but she is very healthy so maybe it doesnt matter?

Different metabolisms .. but also some super slim woman I knew were anorexic..

Exercise more and eat less....I cut out eating after 6 '0 clock and lost a stone.. .On a holiday in Paris I couldn't afford to eat much , and walked all day, and my clothes were looser after a few days...
Eat less, exercise more.

I eat what I want and am on the lower end of BMI. Size 8-10 after 2 kids still, used to be smaller. I do self regulate in that i dont eat if I'm not hungry- my friends say i eat constantly, so i guess I'm a "grazer". Some days I have 4 breakfasts then nothing till kids in bed, others i eat like a pig then not much for a few days. Seems to be linked to hormones for me.

I eat lots of healthy stuff but also far far too much chocolate (e.g1-2 bars a day everyday). Not convinced I'm healthy overall tbh.

I don't eat takeaways/ drinks other than water and occasionally a wine. I do move constantly. Am quite an anxious person, always on the go e.g tidying/running after kids/chores etc. Walk everywhere. Step count is 10-15,000 on average. It helps that my job(primary teacher) allows for movement and activity too.

In contrast my husband eats less than me and in 1-2 big meals. He has a sedentary job and is quite overweight. He is an emotional eater whereas I stop eating if I'm sad/wound up.

No easy answers but making it easy for people to move more and supporting mental health would be far more effective than focusing on diet. Also- I eat loads better now I have money than as a kid(very low income background) or teen. Cheap food can be healthy but tricky to make it tasty without good cooking skills or high quality ingredients imo.

The one time in my life other than when I was doing loads of sport that I was skinny -I didn't eat full stop.

At work I had a chicken salad everyday. In the evening I had BBQ ribs and nothing else. I, at the time, was heart broken and I seriously could not and did not want to eat. 6 months like this I had lost 3 stone. No exercise -I was too busy crying every night. It dropped off fast -after 4 weeks of "not eating" probably 700 calories tops a day -the weight fell off. It really did.

My sister was super skinny and is super skinny and she does not eat.

Aiming to drink 2-3l of water a day really helps too as it make you feel as if your stomach is full, so you’re less inclined to overdo food

I'm overweight. 5"6 and 14st. I eat the same as I always have. In fact, I eat less now. I exercise the same as I always have. It never decreased.

I was never above a size 10 and 9.5st so I was lovely and slim with no effort......

And then I had children and quit smoking. The pounds piled on almost overnight without me noticing. My body was unable to maintain my low weight.

I've dieted a thousand times, done 3 mile walks at 6am numerous times a week and nothing. Zip. Zilch. Still fat.

I'd sometimes lose a stone at the start of a hard diet and then it would stop completely. No more weight-loss unless I dropped calories significantly more. Then it would stop again and unless I lived on an apple a day I wouldn't lose a single ounce for months on end.

Only certain people can lose weight by skipping or reducing meals. Some bodies go into starvation mode where it stores everything and slows its metabolism. Some people can stuff their faces every day (ah the good old days) and never gain an ounce.

Some people love exercising. To them it's enjoyable. To me it's like sticking needles in my eyes. I cannot imagine anything less fun than being hot, sweaty, out of breath with burning muscles and being completely exhausted. With the added bonus of not being able to move the following day. I still do it though and having nothing to show for it is seriously demoralising.

We're all different and DH has stopped mentioning my weight since I pointed out I am eating the exact same things as him but smaller portions (plus, he eats loads of biscuits whereas I don't) and doing slightly more exercise than him. He's scrawny naturally.

Is this really a secret? I like to stay slim. I have to eat fairly little to do so and go very easy on cakes, biscuits, crisps, pudding and booze. I save these for special occasions, and if I do have them I would drop the calories elsewhere. I do not think life is too short to be a healthy weight and happy with how you feel and look. I don't eat loads and stay slim, I eat lightly and stay slim. Lots of people do.

How old are you and your friends OP? Because there comes a time you choose arse or face. I choose face and enjoy all the decadent things that keep it fat and wrinkle free.

This is such a tired old statement used as a self-justification by people who want to indulge in food. Nothing wrong with enjoying the "decadent things" but at the end of the day, you are choosing to be overweight.

For those choosing to be slim at 50+ , it doesn't therefore necessarily translate into "haggard". i could name a dozen famous cases where fit can also mean a good face.

YABU for writing this stuff.

Maybe not a secret but it was a revelation to me (that cutting out the snacks wouldnt be enough). I assumed that most people stayed slim by eating 3 sensible/healthy meals a day plus maybe the occasional slice of cake. But actually that's far too much for some, including me.

@oakleaffy

Different metabolisms .. but also some super slim woman I knew were anorexic..

Exercise more and eat less....I cut out eating after 6 '0 clock and lost a stone.. .On a holiday in Paris I couldn't afford to eat much , and walked all day, and my clothes were looser after a few days...
Eat less, exercise more.

Yep. I know someone very slim. She is what I would call a highly controlled anorexic. Both weigh 6 stone and keep it there to the pound. Both of them (like my sister) will have a packet of crisps -eat 1/3 and put them in the fridge. Then the next day another 1/3 and so on....... My sister will take a bar of chocolate and cut it up into individual pieces -put each bit in cling film and have one a day as her "treat" or the 1/3 packet of crisps.

When I lost all my weight it was awful, I was heart broken, couldn't eat or sleep. Food - I just felt sick. Tiny chicken salad at lunch so I didn't look "weird" by not eating and I would have ribs each night with nothing else. Lots of tea and coffee -but nothing else to eat. It started as I couldn't eat as I was heartbroken. Then after 3 months I had dropped so much weight I looked "good" then, it was about control -can I get a thigh gap -yes I could. Could I get the gap bigger....... yes etc I was controlling the one bit of my life I could -I couldn't control, work or my ex or anything but I could control my food.

I met my DP 34 years ago. He was slim. I was slim. He is still slim. I am not. He eats like a horse. In fact I think he might have eaten the damn horse. He does virtually no exercise. But he is an anomaly within his own family as they are all overweight to varying degrees, with the exception of one of his sisters, who works at keeping fit and healthy.

I do think that the vast majority of people have to be disciplined though, especially as they get older and need fewer calories to maintain weight. I'm an older mum to a 12yo and an 8yo and realise that I need to be as healthy as possible if I want to be around to see my children grow up. I don't find the exercise part anywhere near as difficult as the healthy eating, especially with a DP who can eat whatever he likes and not put on an ounce. He could wear the same clothes he wore when he was 18 - in fact I'm deeply suspicious of some of his underwear

I'm only 5 foot and a half an inch so I always look heavier than taller women. I am now restricting carbs though and lost 1 1/2 kg this week because of that. I envy tall women. They always look elegant.