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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Minor ethical dilemma- What should I do?

219 replies

FredaFrogspawn · 06/08/2020 19:55

I found some sunglasses where we were sitting while in a big busy London park with DGC - they played with them for a bit and we hung out in that spot for a while (maybe 45 minutes- 1 hour). I took them home as no one came back for them and I thought they were fairly cheap. I am not at all into fashion and am clueless about things like this, having never bought sunglasses for more then a tenner myself.

I have just googled them and they’re £185. I feel bad for whoever lost them.

What would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
Original poster
FredaFrogspawn · 06/08/2020 23:01

Thank you P999.

I’m really not a massive big ole thief or I would have been thrilled to find they are expensive. Even the Met say finding an item which isn’t valuable, if you can’t immediately reunite them with the owner (which I would have been pleased to do if I’d seen anyone looking) then you should dispose of the item yourself.

I can’t wear sunglasses as it happens (except strong prescription ones) so was going to wash them and put them in the dressing up box. My dilemma is about finding out they’re valuable!

OP posts:
tankflybos · 06/08/2020 23:52

Whoa, hold on a minute sticky fingers....how does this:

"I can’t wear sunglasses as it happens (except strong prescription ones)"

Marry up with this:

"They can be according to website of makers but I don’t think these ones are as I can see as normal with them. They may have a slight reading prescription on a bifocal but not massive."

Hmmmmm - proper crime lords stick to their story

Original poster
FredaFrogspawn · 06/08/2020 23:58

I can see my normal as it is without glasses. They don’t change that. I’m not trying to fool anyone. I’ve been wearing glasses for a couple of years now - an age thing.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 07/08/2020 00:02

@Thisismytimetoshine

You've already nicked them, op. The owner could well have retraced their steps after you'd made off with them. Why did you take them home with you in the first place? I've had glasses nicked before, bad cess to whatever wanker pocketed them.
She didn't steal them, ffs!
Andthewinnerislucky · 07/08/2020 00:03

(which I would have been pleased to do if I’d seen anyone looking)

This is what I don't get. I keep wondering why you assume for some reason the person lost them not long before you found them and must either be in the vicinity or come around looking for them right then and there. What if they'd gone home and decided to go back the next day to look? What if they were looking but just haven't gotten to that spot? What makes you think you have to see someone looking for them or else, it means they aren't looking or you can take them?

I doubt you would have gotten a hard time if your story didn't sound like you knowingly took them, not to find the owner and want justification for it. Not really saying you did but not saying you didn't either, I don't know what you can/can't do.

TableFlowerss · 07/08/2020 00:06

No point in going putting then back...

The owner will have looked on the day they were lost and retraced their steps and thought someone’s taken them 😳

They won’t think ‘I’ll pop back tomorrow incase the ‘thief’ decides to bring them back to the same spot’

In the unlikely even the above was true- there’s no way a ‘thief 2’ wouldn’t take them

Take them to the maintenance office or call them.

HollowTalk · 07/08/2020 00:08

@Aloethere

This thread is utterly bonkers! Mumsnet at it's finest.
I agree. There are some people here who have a very tenuous link with reality.
tankflybos · 07/08/2020 00:09

But if you can see normal through them why can't you wear them?

Lucky get over it. She's got some bonus sunnies, someone dropped them in long grass never to be found again. It is what it is

PawPawNoodle · 07/08/2020 00:12

@HollowTalk She didn't steal them, ffs

What exactly do you think theft is if it isn't taking something without the owners permission with an intention to permanently deprive them of it until you realise they're prescription and of no value to you, then you think about handing them in

OP you were grim to let your grandchildren play with them as if they're a discarded toy, and then ridiculous for taking them as if its what everyone does with found items. I dont believe for a second that you'd think a £200 pair of frames were just some cheapo tat.

Original poster
FredaFrogspawn · 07/08/2020 00:13

But if you can see normal through them why can't you wear them?

Because sadly, my ‘normal for no specs’ isn’t good enough to safely go out in London any more. I have a pair which are prescription.

OP posts:
Andthewinnerislucky · 07/08/2020 00:15

I really should, shouldn't I? Didn't mean to act like a saint Grin

HollowTalk · 07/08/2020 00:20

[quote PolPotNoodle]**@HollowTalk* She didn't steal them, ffs*

What exactly do you think theft is if it isn't taking something without the owners permission with an intention to permanently deprive them of it until you realise they're prescription and of no value to you, then you think about handing them in

OP you were grim to let your grandchildren play with them as if they're a discarded toy, and then ridiculous for taking them as if its what everyone does with found items. I dont believe for a second that you'd think a £200 pair of frames were just some cheapo tat.[/quote]
So if you were walking down a street sand found a £10 note on the pavement and nobody was there, would you take it to the police? It's the same situation. It was in the grass. She waited with it for an hour. The police will not be interested. It's not theft. She didn't take it, intending to permanently deprive someone. There wasn't a person to deprive.

PawPawNoodle · 07/08/2020 00:28

I won't argue the point too much longer as you don't seem to have availed yourself of the law, however there is a 'person to find' which is the owner (there's very little in this world that isn't owned by someone, even rubbish has an owner). There's literally a subsection of theft called 'theft by finding'.

If I found a tenner on the street I probably would pocket it, if I found £185 I wouldn't.

tankflybos · 07/08/2020 00:30

"If I found a tenner on the street I probably would pocket it, if I found £185 I wouldn't."

🤦‍♀️

Original poster
FredaFrogspawn · 07/08/2020 00:33

That’s my point - I thought they were the tenner. But then found out they weren’t, they were the £185. I am trying to rectify it. I can’t complain that people are saying what they think because I did ask.

I agree with posters who have said the best solution is to email the ranger (which I have done) and if no luck there, take them to the local police station (which I will do).

OP posts:
giantangryrooster · 07/08/2020 00:57

Oh sorry OP. You are trying to do the right thing, good on you Smile.

Rarely have i seen so many sanctimonious posters telling off someone trying to do right.

My guess is that a lot would have recognized the make and taken them or have let the dc play with them and taken them home by mistake and never given it another thought.

Your mistake was goggling them and posting on MN.

You sound a decent human being trying your best.

trixiebelden77 · 07/08/2020 01:05

Not sure what’s sanctimonious about not taking things that aren’t yours?

Weird that so many people are absolutely incredulous that some people actually just don’t ever take things they know aren’t theirs.

It’s done now, and it’s not a big deal and it’s good that the OP is thinking about what to do, but it’s really not bizarre or unrealistic that there are people to whom it just wouldn’t have occurred to take the glasses.

giantangryrooster · 07/08/2020 01:15

trixie a lot of people just don't care ime. I think those posting 'thief' to op when she is being honest and asks what to do, have probably all done something not so good. Eg. getting the wrong change back and only noticed when home and then haven't been arsed to go back to return it etc.

I have spend plenty of time seeking for people when I have found wallets or bank cards. If my dc had played with some sunglasses in the grass and taken them home, it wouldn't have occurred to me it was more than £5-10, if I had noticed at all.

squeekums · 07/08/2020 01:31

Bloody hell...
Ive never backtracked to find lost sunnies OR expect id see them again. Its my own fault for losing them. Why should i expect random strangers to go out of their way to return sunnies?

Op youve gone to more effort than i would, i wouldnt have even made a MN thread lol

sammylady37 · 07/08/2020 02:03

Bloody hell...
Ive never backtracked to find lost sunnies OR expect id see them again. Its my own fault for losing them. Why should i expect random strangers to go out of their way to return sunnies

I have certainly done so - my sunglasses are prescription and cost a fortune.

And I’d expect random strangers not to take things that don’t belong to them in the first place.

pandapow · 07/08/2020 03:04

Worst case scenario if you don't find anything better go and leave the sunglasses where you found them.

Boredombored · 07/08/2020 05:46

ignore anyone who says you did the wrong thing, I’ve been back to the same place three times to look for my friends sunglasses that she lost and they weren’t expensive, if they are important to the person they will have emailed the park ranger,l.

Illuyanka · 07/08/2020 06:44

"So if you were walking down a street sand found a £10 note on the pavement and nobody was there, would you take it to the police? "

This happened to me, precisely it was £20. What I did? I didn't take it to the police, there is no police station in my town, and I doubt they would find the owner of lost £20. I took it to the charity shop instead. Yes, I am sanctimonious by nature.

Cam77 · 07/08/2020 07:33

With the exception of a wallet (to avoid it being picked up by a thief and committing credit card fraud/identity theft etc) you should just leave things where they are. Why did you take then? What did you hope to achieve? If somebody did retrace their steps later and found them totally disappeared theyd assume they were probably stolen and they’d basically be right.

Cam77 · 07/08/2020 07:36

“Thats my point - I thought they were the tenner. But then found out they weren’t, they were the £185.”

But they aren’t yours! Would you take a child’s teddy? The value in pounds or dollars is irrelevant.