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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Minor ethical dilemma- What should I do?

219 replies

FredaFrogspawn · 06/08/2020 19:55

I found some sunglasses where we were sitting while in a big busy London park with DGC - they played with them for a bit and we hung out in that spot for a while (maybe 45 minutes- 1 hour). I took them home as no one came back for them and I thought they were fairly cheap. I am not at all into fashion and am clueless about things like this, having never bought sunglasses for more then a tenner myself.

I have just googled them and they’re £185. I feel bad for whoever lost them.

What would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
Noconceptofnormal · 06/08/2020 21:26

I agree with pp, whether you meant to or not you stole the sunglasses. It dies t natter if you thought they were cheap, I've been annoyed when I've lost a £10 pair from topshop because I thought they were cool and can't replace them.

So I don't think 'I don't do Facebook' really cuts the mustard. If you want to ease your conscience you need to set up a temporary account to try and locate the owner. I think the isgn near the bench is a good idea as well, again set up a disposable email address.

But you took them, so it's up to you to do the right thing.

If you don't find the owner, I would sell them and donate the proceeds to a London homeless charity, so at least you've 'paid it forward' as it were.

grisen · 06/08/2020 21:26

Am i the only one interested in what brand they were?
Saying that mine are RayBans so not quite as expensive I guess. But I wouldn’t class them as a high value item, if I’d lose them I’d track my steps and if I didn’t see them I’d consider them lost. I wouldn’t even consider going to the police/park rangers for sunglasses. I didn’t bother when my old iPad was stolen though, so it must be me.

Original poster
FredaFrogspawn · 06/08/2020 21:27

The Met Police website suggest that if you find what they call a valuable object you should take it to the police station and hand it in. So I’ll do that because they are valuable. There’s a pretty high chance if I’d left them they would have gone anyway if no one had come for them in an hour.

OP posts:
Original poster
FredaFrogspawn · 06/08/2020 21:28

They weren’t on a bench, they were in long grass.

OP posts:
Sally872 · 06/08/2020 21:29

Yabu for stealing them even if they had been cheap.

I would have left them or picked them up if I was going to make a good attempt to find the owner, local Facebook is really useful but as you didn't intend to do that you have stolen them and the cost is irrelevant.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 06/08/2020 21:29

Jesus. There are some real holier than thou people on here.

OP - In retrospect, maybe you shouldn't have taken them, but you were at the site for a long time and the owner didn't come back - therefore, imo, unlikely that they'd then be trawling the park looking for them after you'd left.

Either keep them or give them to charity. It's unlikely you'll be able to trace their owner now, and feeling all guilt-ridden because of people on here won't help, either.

QuestionableMouse · 06/08/2020 21:29

@Flappergasted

So you stole some sunglasses that clear3dudnt belong to you? Do you understand the term theft by finding? It's theft. They aren't yours. You stole them. Hope you can sleep at night. You should have left them where they were.
You're being utterly ridiculous. The op hasn't stolen anything - she picked up a lost pair of sunglasses. I'm sure this thread has give her some ideas if how to reunite them with their owner.
Andthewinnerislucky · 06/08/2020 21:29

@Littlecaf

Yes and no. Not ashamed. But both times it was the end of the day and the beach was empty. And we were abroad (not in the UK and not somewhere that I’d want to go anywhere near the local police station.)
Ooh nice, "Thieving forriners" go both ways, I see. Except one side think it's justified because it was "ah-brod" and not the UK.
Illuyanka · 06/08/2020 21:32

Op, yes, it could have been broken, someone may have took them, all the possibilities. Don't make excuses. Just do the right thing by your conscience. Or not. It's really up to you.

sammylady37 · 06/08/2020 21:32

This has happened twice to me with Ray Bans - both we’re while we were on a beach on holiday. I’m ashamed to say I still have them

Have to laugh at the ‘this has happened to me’ as if it’s somehow something that you had no control over instead of it being something you actively chose to do.

Sally872 · 06/08/2020 21:34

@questiobablemouse
she picked up a lost pair of sunglasses. I'm sure this thread has give her some ideas if how to reunite them with their owner.

Picking up something that isn't yours is stealing. Not saying the police would care but morally it us stealing. Op only seems to care now she knows value.

Thisismytimetoshine · 06/08/2020 21:36

@Littlecaf

Yes and no. Not ashamed. But both times it was the end of the day and the beach was empty. And we were abroad (not in the UK and not somewhere that I’d want to go anywhere near the local police station.)
Where in the name of God were you that you were afraid to go "anywhere near" the police station? You didn't need to take them to a police station anyway, you could have just kept your mitts off. I don't believe for a second you were on an empty beach at the end of the day in an area where you were in fear of the police 😂 Why do people post this shit?
Andthewinnerislucky · 06/08/2020 21:36

That the OP was there for a "long time and the owner didn't come" is an ridiculous excuse. What, you're timing the owner before their property becomes 'finders keepers'?

Also that someone else would have taken them if OP didn't is another one. You don't get to be the one to take them unless you want to take them. If someone else took them, that's not your problem is it? Unless you wanted them.

Yankathebear · 06/08/2020 21:36

I wouldn't feel bad for someone who has £185 spare to spend on sunglasses

Why? Are people not allowed nice things?
@rosiejaune

Original poster
FredaFrogspawn · 06/08/2020 21:38

I’m not making excuses! I am trying to do the right thing which, according to the Met Police website - is to pick them up and hand them in. And I have now said I’m doing this - not once but twice.

Thank you to the helpful posters for ideas.

OP posts:
AuntLucy · 06/08/2020 21:39

I have lost plenty of pairs of expensive sunglasses over the years. Wouldn't expect to see anything left in a park ever again. Some you win, some you loose 🤷🏻‍♀️. Congrats, you just won a nice pair of new glasses! Your lucky day 🙂

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 06/08/2020 21:39

Not an excuse, at all - just pointing out that if the owner realised they'd left them in the park, they'd likely have returned straight away.

Andthewinnerislucky · 06/08/2020 21:42

@FredaFrogspawn I really wasn't referring to you in my last post since you've already said you'd hand them in, which is great. Was referring to other PP who said something similar, although you did mention the second excuse as if it makes a difference. Hope the hand in goes well.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 06/08/2020 21:44

A PP who was also not saying it was an excuse.

tankflybos · 06/08/2020 21:45

@Littlecaf same country and beach both times? No wonder you keep going back for treasure Grin

Might as well show us the specs OP

Flavabobble · 06/08/2020 21:46

🙄🙄😂😂 Omg, she didn't steal them!!!! Loads of people take lost items home to try and reunite them with the owners if there isn't anywhere obvious to put them for them to be found

Oh stop being all sensible, this is mumsnet. You’re supposed to froth about how it’s treacherous behaviour, and that being flogged would be getting off lightly. And then to compare picking up a pair of sunglasses, that’ve been forgotten about, to burgling a house.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 06/08/2020 21:47

Oh stop being all sensible, this is mumsnet. You’re supposed to froth about how it’s treacherous behaviour, and that being flogged would be getting off lightly. And then to compare picking up a pair of sunglasses, that’ve been forgotten about, to burgling a house.

Grin Grin

Andthewinnerislucky · 06/08/2020 21:48

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie

Not an excuse, at all - just pointing out that if the owner realised they'd left them in the park, they'd likely have returned straight away.
But you don't know the owner's situation? Where they are/live, if they know exactly where the item was lost and is combing the park in search of them, etc.

So checking they haven't returned in the hour or so OP was there still doesn't matter. That would mean making the decision to take them because "well owner doesn't seem like they're coming back". In that case, no need to 'feel guilty' as you've (not you, just in general) decided to take them knowingly.

Andthewinnerislucky · 06/08/2020 21:52

But OP didn't "take lost items home to try and reunite them with the owners if there isn't anywhere obvious to put them for them to be found".

OP took a lost item home, then looked it over, saw the brand, googled the brand and saw the value and came on mumsnet to ask if she can keep itGrin

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 06/08/2020 21:53

Cba to argue, Lucky.

If I realised over an hour later that I'd probably left my sunglasses in the park, I'd likely assume that they'd no longer be there, and would be cross with myself but think it was my own fault for leaving them. I wouldn't think whoever picked them up was a thief, just an opportunist.