To feel sad looking at ex's WhatsApp status and his GF. I can't help it!!

[whatsappcurse]

I’ve written about my ex on here, I left him he didn’t leave me. I just couldn’t deal with his laziness, and there was just a lot that was going on in our marriage. There was no abuse or cheating, just fucking laziness from his part. It wasn’t a bad ‘bad’ marriage as such.

He’s moved on, and he’s the sort of person who likes to take pictures of what he eats or been. He does it whether he’s with his mum, friends or girlfriend. So I know he’s not doing it to ‘show her off’.

But it just hurts like hell to see him post pictures on his WhatsApp status of them being out and about, to nice fancy restaurants. They’ve been eating out since Monday because of the 50% off discount thing, yesterday he took her to this really nice high end steak house in London he’s always talked about going when we were together, but just never went. I could see it was that restaurant because of the menu card on the table. It was so hard seeing her there with her nicely done nails eating steak with him. I’m also jealous that we just never went out like that, but he’s always going out with her.

I can’t block him because we have children together, I’ve tried to mute his WhatsApp status so I don’t see his pictures. But I can still see it, it’s just not at the top with all the other WhatsApp statuses. I find myself constantly looking at his status, I can’t help it. I wish I could just block him. We have an OK relationship apart from this.

I’m just sad that her and her daughter are living the life my children and I should be living. I know I left him, but had it not been for his laziness we would still have been together 😔

Leopards don't change their spots.
If he was lazy and disengaged when you were married, once the first flush of lurvvve is over he will be again for her. If he isn't then you were just not a good match and it would never have worked out.. either way you need to move on too.

Create a new exDH and kids whatsapp group and delete the other one.

He's probably loving that you look at his stories OP I would salvage some dignity and block him - the coming off whatsapp story is a good idea

if he's posting every fun moment of his life on social media OP, do you really think he's happy? He would be living in the moment if he were

Use text rather than Whatsapp and block him on there, block other forms of social media with him. It isn't necessary.

I'm in exactly same boat op. I've blocked both exh and his new gf on fb. I don't want to see what they are doing, it just hurts.

@FruitLikeAPeach Yep! WhatsApp has stories like Instagram. I don’t pay much attention but I just looked and they are stored under “Status” on WA, so this must be what the OP is taking about. OMG OP you have to stop looking as he can see you have viewed and he’s probably doing it to wind you up - the photos of the restaurant! That’s got to be deliberate. Step away from giving him a chuckle!

You're torturing yourself looking at that stuff. It was killing me seeing anything that reminded me of him or her so I stopped looking. Find another way of communicating with him and free yourself to start feeling better

She isn’t living your life, you didn’t have that life with him and if you had stayed together it would be the same as it was when you were together. You left him for a reason.

You can delete him off what’s app, communicate via text, email or phone. You need to concentrate on building up your own life rather than living in a fantasy world of what if.

Life after divorce can be brilliant. Good luck

Yes WhatsApp do stories, they're in the left bottom corner next to 'calls'. And yes he can see I've viewed his stories, feel like an idiot tbh. I need to stop. I just need to have better self discipline.

To add, for any that don’t know: WA tells you who has looked at every photo you post on your status thing.

Sounds like they go well together and you didn't want him.
Maybe it isn't him taking her, perhaps she is instigating it herself when he mentions it.
Perhaps this is how she manages his laziness.

don’t torture yourself OP, all SM is just a gloss of people’s lives, he won’t have changed.

Well you learn something new every day!

But seriously OP, you need to stop for your own sake. If you're unable to do that yourself then converse over text with him instead.

I think you need to block him and say you’ll only communicate via text or phone. I used to cry looking at my ex’s what’s app picture change of him on holiday! But not one with the girl he’s dating. Luckily he’s not posted anything like that yet (9 months on!)

Honestly, they went to a restaurant. It's an ordinary thing to do. He didn't whisk her off on a private jet to a tropical island. She's not living the life...he's still just as lazy and useless as he was when you were with him. He hasn't become a different person

@GinDrinker00

Why can’t you go out with your children to a restaurant? No need to be jealous just make your own plans.

You’ve missed the point. She would still be with him if he’d been like that with her and the children. It very obviously isn’t about going out for a meal!

I need to stop. I just need to have better self discipline.
It took me a lot of willpower to begin with but once your mood starts lifting it becomes easier. You can do this

Don't react he could be trying to make you jealous if you react you may end up back where you started.

He didn’t do stuff with you because he didn’t want to. You and him were not a good fit.
I would also suggest that being the primary carer for children heightens the resentment over things like restaurants and holidays because they become more important when they aren’t so easy to do.
Prioritise on what you really want now. Is it going out, is it male company, is it another proper relationship? Because all of those can be independently of each other.

Change your number.

Put your old sim and number in an old phone and check it once a week. If there’s messages respond don’t bother with his updates.

He is trying to upset you. People who are in deliriously happy relationships don’t spend all their time and energy updating it on social media. They’re busy living their lives and enjoying themselves.
I went out with a friend recently and we had an amazing meal and she suddenly went oh no I didn’t take a picture of that it was so beautiful. We had been so busy chatting and eating we didn’t have the thought of pulling out our phones to take pictures.

I do know how you feel though. When I left ex, he moved OW in with him immediately. It hurt that the lazy, abusive, ugly twunt could move on so quickly and replace me and not feel any loss and I was going thro a really hard time picking up the pieces with the DC, whilst trying to keep everything together and pretend I was fine.

That was a long time ago, I’m in a wonderful place now and twatface still spends all is energies in trying to find out what I’m doing and where I am. If he’s so deliriously happy why bother?

@Honeybobbin

No-one updates WhatsApp like that! He's deliberately winding you up!

Most idiotic post on the thread award goes to you, it seems.

@stayingontherail

You can block him. Tell him you’re coming off WhatsApp so he needs to text you instead and block. Follow with a text saying the same. WhatsApp isn’t the only way to message people.

This is the solution.

Why do you need him on WhatsApp?

As Stayingontherail said, block him on WA and move to texting.

Anything that can't be easily texted (screenshots) can be emailed.

@MoistMolly

Most idiotic post on the thread award goes to you, it seems.

Bit harsh to Honeybobbin? Most people I know don't update their WhatsApp status, so not idiotic at all.

What version of WhatsApp is this? I've just updated (I think) to v 2.20.195.17 and can't see anything under 'status' except the normal 'status' that you'd just put your normal profile picture and generic 'I'm available/ Notifications are switched off' etc thing.
Why do we need yet another SM thing to have constant updates on? It's a messaging system!