To ask what is the most ridiculous reason someone has fallen out with you?

[Rainbowb]

Need a bit of solidarity right now!

Yes, one of my friends dropped me - apparently I was “funnier than her on Facebook” and I should have known she was the funny one and just stuck to liking her comments.

A long time friend of mine dropped several friends when she was "born again". Luckily the us she told us the individual reasons. For me, it was because I masturbate (that's true of) .. but wtf

I refused to join her MLM.

She thought I'd told her friends (who I didn't know) that she had had a boob job. I'm still a little miffed 15 years later as to why she thought that. We'd been friends since we were little kids!

One of my sisters stopped speaking to me for a couple of years because I allegedly put a stop to her having a portion of our DF ashes to go and scatter under a bench in the town he grew up in - except I didn’t have anything to do with it. Said ashes had already been sealed in a salt urn ready for interment at sea and, when DM asked the funeral directors whether it was possible to take some ashes out they said if they did, it could cause the urn to fracture and would then need replacing (at cost to DM). Not to mention the bench that was being suggested was in memory of his sister who he didn’t really get along with, was in a town he hated and moved away from as soon as he could and, above all, DM didn’t want his ashes split up in different places!!

Still not sure how it turned out to be all my fault but the time she wasn’t speaking to me included when DH and I got married and we only found out 4 days before the wedding that they weren’t coming when DM chased up about dietary requirements and whether what we had planned was suitable for them to say they had told us at DF funeral that they couldn’t come - even though we hadn’t sent out invitations at that point seeing as we had only booked the date 10 days prior to said funeral and it was 8 months away at that point!!

Now you’d never know that weird period of time ever happened as she talks to us quite normally when family events happen (we were never the closest of the sibling group before this happened!!)

Because we were pregnant at the same time. She wasn’t upfront initially that she was angry, it started off slowly with her being cold to me, excluding me from things, then moved onto open hostility towards me, DH and our children (I avoided her as much as possible but there were a few events we had to attend). We’re NC now and it’s bliss. I didn’t know at the time, but she was going to various mutual friends and family members telling half-truths and outright lies to explain why she was angry with me. Eventually she came clean that she thought I should have stopped TTC as she was pregnant. Through all of this, I’d kept quiet, hoping people would see her for what she really was and, luckily that’s exactly what happened although it did take a few years and relationships were unfortunately damaged in the process. Turns out she’s a complete control freak and couldn’t handle me making a decision on my own. She’s now cut off pretty much all family members for ridiculous reasons and according to her mother, this a common occurrence.

Imnothereforthedrama

Yes, we figured out the possible reasons he did it were:

1. He was covering up for some transgression of his own or made it up in the middle of a row with his wife?
2. He didn't like me being friends with her
3. I didn't take a lot of his BS very seriously - he's an alternative healer and when my first dc was a baby he cried a lot and this guy offered to crack his neck for me (when ds was 2 months old) but I said I didn't want him to. He also used to get stoned at parties and then offer to crack people's necks for them and I didn't let him do mine!

Anyway, it was a really really shitty thing to do as I was vg friends with the wife and her sisters - eg made all the food for her hen party, went on holidays together and while I'm sure the sisters knew he was lying he pretty much killed our friendships. Outrageous behaviour.

I was relieved to be so close to hers as she could bring me things like food from outside the hospital, and visit me, and put me up for the two weeks convalescence I would need before I could make the journey home

Tbf just assuming you could stay at someone house for two weeks to recover is CF territory, even if she had spent a couple of weekends a year at yours.

Many many decades ago, I was a bit late to call on a "friend" to walk to school with, I told them the reason "I'd been trying to iron my skirt"...I was promptly put into Coventry by all the girls for the next 3 months . I found out years later that my comment was taken (told to everyone else) as a "heinous" insult to her mother - as her mother ironed her school clothes for her.

Bonkers, but also on reflection rather cruel, as the reason I was trying to iron my own clothes was that my mother was seriously ill (and they all knew this).

What this thread really makes me think is that you can believe you have strong friendships with people that clearly are anything but. It's bizarre how random a lot of these perceived slights are. Have people got nothing more important to be thinking about really?

@H2OConnoisseur

I refused to join her MLM.

Yep, that’s a common reason for a hissy fit @H2OConnoisseur because they’re all panicking and under pressure to recruit all their friends. Sad really.

Yep, that’s a common reason for a hissy fit @H2OConnoisseur because they’re all panicking and under pressure to recruit all their friends. Sad really.

I love your name, @YouokHun! I didn't even realise she was in an MLM at first — she told me that she was starting an online business and, as I first met her at a pottery class, I assumed that she'd be starting her own site or selling crafts on Etsy at least. Big nope!

Went on a Zoom call with her and a few other people as part of her 'demonstration' and she spent the first 10 mins or so showing us around her 'newly renovated' kitchen which was a bit strange with how detailed she was about what brand everything was, but ok. Then she dropped the bombshell that we could do the same selling candles!!!

Was running late by then so excused myself from the call and sent her a message saying 'good luck with your business but it's not for me'. She then asked if I'd attend another Zoom call, and told me that I could talk to her friend who could perhaps convince me etc. Told her I really wasn't interested (was probably unnecessarily harsh as I started the message with 'Look,') and she sent back one saying 'I guess you don't have what it takes anyway' before blocking me!

@byvirtue

I told her I’d met someone I really liked. Never heard from her again. She was a very close uni friend, he became my husband. I clearly missed the memo I wasn’t allowed to meet anyone. I did look her up on social media lately, 11 years on she is still single. Still baffled why she reacted so extremely to cut me off.

Are you me?

Exactly the same thing happened to me.

@manymanymany

When my dd was a really ill newborn and I wasn't supposed to take her outside, a close friend offered to collect ds from nursery - she lived 10 minutes from it. I called to double-check she was going to do it, and she didn't answer any calls or texts so DH ended up leaving work early to collect ds. She completely cut off all contact - very sad for DH who had been close friends with her for 20 years.

Did you eventually find out why she didn't pick ur DS?

There are clearly a lot of people who are quite unbalanced out there. It’s a bit alarming. There are lots of people I should have cut out of my life for all sorts of reasons, but I soldiered on. I think I’ve been a fool.

Great thread, some of these are bringing out the armchair psychologist in me! This post for example is interesting:

Christmas 2019, sister accused me of being selfish for making a tiramisu for pudding that wasn't as big as she thought it would be. We stopped speaking until recently and she's still ice cold to me now.

Surely your fallout isn't really about the pudding @Booksandtea84. An acquaintance may stop speaking to you because of something so petty, but a sibling you have decades of shared history with surely wouldn't? The pudding is a red herring distracting from the actual issue in my opinion (and only you and your sister can know what that is). Or perhaps it was the straw that broke the camel's back when there is a lot of resentment that has built up over years.

A former friend stopped all contact after she said I had sent her a snappy text. She had virtually lived with us one winter after she left her husband. I suspect I knew too much.

@NonBinaryNumbers oh god totally, goes back to babyhood, we are 13 months apart, mum couldn't cope, I as the younger got all the attention, was spoilt rotten, which has caused huge resentment and still does. We'd need sibling therapy I think to overcome our issues. She's not interested in improving our relationship atm, I've tried reviving it but have to accept she does not want more than superficial contact.

Anyway, we could definitely make good subjects for a study on sibling rivalries!

I don't think it's "presumptous" for me to think that she would want to bring me a few necessities whilst I was in hospital miles away from home and with no-one else to visit me, and then let me convalesce at her house for a mere 14 nights

Oh come on, it’s practically the definition of CF. Two weeks of “convalescence”, ie being waited on hand and foot, with next to no notice and no flexibility on dates? And you just assumed? Crazy levels of entitlement.

If we are including workmates, I had a colleague pass me a note via another colleague asking me out, who then never spoke to me again upon being reminded I was happily married. We were all in our 30s.

Running down a corridor at school with a friend, she stopped dead and I accidentally ran into the back of her. I apologised, but she refused to speak to me for the rest of the day.
Because I spent too long in a book shop whilst shopping with friends.

@Booksandtea84
Wow, that sounds like there are quite a few complex issues lurking beneath a seemingly banal argument! Family relationships are so complicated sometimes.

A "mere" 14 nights? Was that a reverse??

I had a friend from uni fall out with me because she insisted I accompanied her to the toilet cubicle while she took a wrap of speed. Apparently I was the worst friend ever for forgetting to remind her about the chewing gum she'd popped into her belly button while she took the speed. She had meant to pop in straight back in her mouth, but forgot and finally found it again 2 weeks later. Apparently my fault entirely

@starwarspyjamas

I had a friend from uni fall out with me because she insisted I accompanied her to the toilet cubicle while she took a wrap of speed. Apparently I was the worst friend ever for forgetting to remind her about the chewing gum she'd popped into her belly button while she took the speed. She had meant to pop in straight back in her mouth, but forgot and finally found it again 2 weeks later. Apparently my fault entirely

not envy and