To ask what is the most ridiculous reason someone has fallen out with you?

[Rainbowb]

Need a bit of solidarity right now!

Long time ago but still do t really understand... a girl I considered a good friend, we spent a lot of time together, went to different uni’s but ended up living together again in London. I thought we were really close, I started seeing a guy, she said he was gay, I refused to stop seeing him, she moved out and I’ve never seen her since. The guy is my husband of 20 odd years, I’m still sad I lost contact with my ‘friend’ I think she was having a lot of family difficulties at the time and I feel sad she wouldn’t let me help
Wish I could find her now... just to see how she is

I have a few sadly

First i posted on fb that i had been busy in the garden and had also removed a lavender bush in the process, a fb friend asked what and said "what about all the poor bees?!" I explained that i was scared of bees and this is why i had to remove it as it attracted so many, but they wouldn't be 'homeless' as they would just hang out in my neighbours garden instead who had some large lavender bushes (which they did & she loves bees so win win) she said i was cruel to the "poor bees" and blocked me 😂

Perhaps there should be a thread where people write "the otherside" to their won posts of others as credibly as they can.
I got to hear the other side to mine quite quickly - since 11 year olds can be like that.
It went roughly.
"You should have asked your parents for more money to spend. I was really looking forward to this and have told other people that we are going shopping together and it will make me look bad if all you have bought is that little piece of velvet ribbon. You are being mean because you have ruined it for me. If I am your friend you should have put my feelings ahead of the fact that asking for extra money for things like this isn't the rule in your family."
Making your own black velvet choker with a narrow bit of ribbon was the height of sophistication at that time. People who were 13 wore them! But I couldn't have worn it at school, so I suppose the other girls wouldn't have seen it on Monday morning.

Well said @StellaMalone

@eeek88

She wanted my dog.

I agreed to a trial because he is such a nightmare around sheep that I felt sheep-free living arrangements were worth considering, but the trial wasn’t working and he was miserable, trashing their house, losing weight etc. 2 weeks into the 6 month trial I called it off and took him back.

The mental distress caused by not being able to have my dog caused her, allegedly, to wet herself. As I have no desire to induce incontinence, I refused to discuss the dog except in writing (so that she could process the information on the toilet if necessary). 9 months later she issued an ultimatum: set aside half a day to have ‘painful’ discussion about dog, or she can no longer be around me. I chose the second option. The whole thing is my fault.

It took a while to realise how much happier I am without her in my life. She’s great in so many ways, but it is impossible to say no to her.

Boundaries are wonderful things.

I need to know how the dog is and also, bits of your post were deadpan funny even if you didn't mean them to be.

My neighbour (in his 50's) was a friend, regular meals together, cups of tea and chats etc. Just before lockdown in March he got a new girlfriend someone lovely who he met in a cafe, we were very pleased for him. Lockdown happened and we said we couldn't socialise with him anymore. Apart from all the many obvious legal reasons, he was still seeing his new girlfriend who was a nurse at the hospital so it wasn't the 'right' or sensible thing to do. We went from being the most lovely people he was ever fortunate enough to have in his life, to stone cold hostile in an instant. Narcissist much?

A relative of mine had a nasty fb row with a cousin of hers (not mine, diff branch of her family), im not friends with this person in real life or on fb and wasn't involved in the row in any way and didn't even see it, but relative decided to block me and alot of others because of this row

Another relative, A, (mum of the above funnily enough) saw that i had commented on a pic of my sisters newborn and that A's sister B had liked my comment and replied to it, A & B hate each other (long history, final straw was A stealing B's husband) so A blocked me for this

@Jojofjo44 God no! The mint one? How could you. We are from different species I do believe!

My friend asked for my honest opinion of a hot pink lipstick she bought, we both had a laugh about glowing in the dark. Then I joked that it looked a bit like she used a pink highlighter on her mouth and she switched on me calling me abusive and unsupportive, shaming women for their choices, a bad feminist etc and was huffy with me for ages. Eventually we made up and she admitted that she didn't even like the lipstick herself! Still confuses me that it escalated so much

Oh and a different sister fell out with me for refusing to lend her around £300 so that she would be able to pay her rent and pay for a mini break she had planned

Not me, but my parents' neighbours fell out with them because my parents installed a gate across their drive. This had no impact on the neighbour's access to their own drive, but they were upset because their milkman used my parents' drive to turn round in and once they installed the gate he couldn't do that.

A work colleague fell out with me a month ago over a difference of opinion.

Zero fucks given.

Because my marriage fell apart, I got depressed and I wasn't able to meet her to go to the cinema. I think she thought she was being very christian and understanding by overlooking my crappy mental health and woefully short marriage but then I had the temerity to cancel on her? When she was being a saint?! Dunzo.

For ages afterwards I'd be polite when we saw each other (mutual friends), send messages at birthdays etc and I apologised for crapping out of life for a few years (the cinema time) but she never responded. Completely blanked me. Why did I apologise?! She's an arsehole. I'm happy she's out of my life. It was a lesson.

because they were used to me being the fat, abused and agoraphobic friend. The minute i started to do better they socially constructed reasons to dislike me. it was good for me though, I managed to bin alot of Toxic people out of my life during that time. currently doing better than ever and almost glad for the betrayals. I wouldnt be nearly as happy as I am now with them in my life.

I get that jayd03 because similar happened to me.

I had a bit of a crisis in my life, and a friend I hadn't known ever so long was great and supportive. I got myself better and was much happier and she started being really really off with me.

One day, it was her birthday, and she wanted to meet, but didn't want to meet halfway, which meant 1.5 hours drive for me, and 15 minutes for her. I was nearly there when I got a text. She'd changed her mind and couldn't meet.

I turned round came home, binned the card, lit the lovely candle I'd bought her, and sent her a message saying 'what was all that about?'

She said... (I kid you not)... I don't like you when you're happy. I much prefer you when you are depressed or things are wrong, because if you're happy it makes me feel very fed up.

Nice friend! Not!

I never answered and never spoke to her again.

I've lost one because she thinks Donald Trump is a great President and is a racist posting all about All lives matter. She rarely speaks to me now in our friendship group and I assume it has to be because of my BLM and anti-Trump (aka sensible human being with a brain) posts.

Another friend is always posting about All lives mattering and blue lives matter. I'm sorely tempted to throw that friendship under the bus by responding that all cancers matter when she does her regular Cervical cancer postings.

"But what about Glioblastomas?! And I take it you don't care about prostate cancer huh?!"

Someone my (now) DH vaguely knew fell out with him suddenly when we were at uni. DH wasn't close to him at all, but the guy suddenly vanished. DH assumed it was students being flakey students or the guy was busy with studies, or had found new friends, something like that.
Oh no.
Not at all.
The last time DH saw him was on a night out. DH had no idea, but the bloke ended up sleeping with someone after that night out. The bloke told his fiancee, who unsurprisingly, left him. DH had no idea. No idea the bloke had left with someone else, much less slept with her. I think we left before the bloke left.
The bloke was furious with EVERYONE on the night out because they should have stopped him from sleeping with the lady and it was all their fault, so he was giving them the cold shoulder/avoiding them.
DH and everyone was more amused than upset.

@Roussette Wow! I totally get what you and @jayd03 are saying because I have cone to strongly suspect some people feed off the misfortune of others. They do this by passing themselves off as someone who is always there for everyone when they need a shoulder to cry on. Yet the minute someone has good fortune, they’re off. You do have to wonder about that, don’t you!

I can’t believe your “friend” was so truthful in her text!! Hilarious! Would love to see more people admit it.

@NotFrozen

I suggested to a friend that we change plans from a dinner out with partners, and to a girls only night. My friend told me she wouldn’t come at all because she was annoyed that she’d gone to the trouble of arranging childcare but which would not be needed if her partner wasn’t coming. That was the end of the friendship.

I was really upset and felt stuck between a rock and a hardplace. I’d suggested the chang to a girls’ night as my partner was kicking up a fuss about coming and I was trying to find a solution for everyone.

In hindsight I think she was ridiculous and it’s no long term loss.

I understand your ex friend here. DH and I don't use babysitters because we don't know any and wouldn't trust strangers and getting the grandparents to babysit is really limited. Like a once or twice a year thing if even that much. And usually only emergency unavoidable reasons too. If we had organised MIL to babysit for something as unnecessary and frivolous as a "night out socialising" then that would be our one chance gone. Used up. Even if we didn't take it and cancelled. We'd be "pissing her about".

Also, I think it's pretty rude to invite partners and then uninvite them all just because one person is moaning. Un-inviting people is ill mannered.

popcornlover Yes, and I have to give her credit for being honest! It was gobsmacking. Who doesn't want a friend to be happy? I ummmed and ahhhhed about what to reply, then decided silence was the best reply ever.
I have to add, she had a rocky marriage, and I supported her too.

But, yes, there are people out there who just love someone who is down and depressed, and can't cope when things get better for them. I always had this feeling about her, but needed it spelt out. If I ever put anything remotely positive in a message, she ignored it. If it was the opposite, she replied!

@wigglerose

Someone my (now) DH vaguely knew fell out with him suddenly when we were at uni. DH wasn't close to him at all, but the guy suddenly vanished. DH assumed it was students being flakey students or the guy was busy with studies, or had found new friends, something like that. Oh no. Not at all. The last time DH saw him was on a night out. DH had no idea, but the bloke ended up sleeping with someone after that night out. The bloke told his fiancee, who unsurprisingly, left him. DH had no idea. No idea the bloke had left with someone else, much less slept with her. I think we left before the bloke left. The bloke was furious with EVERYONE on the night out because they should have stopped him from sleeping with the lady and it was all their fault, so he was giving them the cold shoulder/avoiding them. DH and everyone was more amused than upset.

DH worked with a guy who took a similar huff. He cheated on a works night out (with a random woman, not a colleague) and he didn't speak to anyone during his three month notice period because they'd "contributed to him ruining his life".

Which given they'd all left the bar because he was behaving ridiculously, but he'd refused to go with them was nonsense. It was incredibly awkward for all of them as his wife worked in another department of the company. They all dealt with her 3/4 times a week.

He also got home, still drunk, and told his wife he'd had sex in the disabled toilet of a bar with a woman whose name he didn't even know. So, not even the case that anyone told his wife. All his own doing, yet he blamed everyone else for the end of his marriage.

@Roussette
Yup, there is no reply to her text. I would imagine though people like this feel some shame at what they’ve done.
I’ve had it done to me, and it was so confusing. The person who I had this experience of didn’t have it in her to make positive change in her life, which would have helped her deal with the way she felt about others. She was just stuck indoors all day doing nothing.
I did belated notice that she did not have any friends richer than her, or with outstanding careers for example. She just had friends that were “beneath” her, for want of a better phrase.

That makes perfect sense popcornlover.

People are strange

One of my friends once shagged my bf. I wasn’t that fussed about him and forgave her because we were all young and daft.
She then fell out with me because my other friends thought she was out of order and blamed me for turning them against me

Wow @grapewrath I wonder if she ever had a moment of lucidity wrt that incongruence.