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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex taking kids to Spain

105 replies

WhatwouldJudydo · 03/08/2020 23:09

Ex due to fly to canaries in a couple of weeks time. Following government guidance assumed it would be cancelled however ex has said its going ahead and he wants me to quarantine with the kids after due to working from home and is saying he can't keep them. AIBU not dropping all my plans so the kids can go away?

OP posts:
Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 03/08/2020 23:11

Yanbu

Not quite sure how you will make him see sense though

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 03/08/2020 23:14

won't he need to isolate too? why can't he do that with children?
If the children see you, they aren't isolating

Original poster
WhatwouldJudydo · 03/08/2020 23:22

Sorry to make this clear - his partner is working from home and says that kids will disturb her so they can't quarantine with them. He should also be at home - can't work from home as he's a builder.

I'm not at work but am due to be the second week, he thinks I'm being difficult and unreasonable. I don't want to stop the kids holiday but I can't just stop all my plans for two weeks because he's gonna on holiday albeit with the kids.

OP posts:
3rdtimestupid · 03/08/2020 23:26

I know exactly how you feel OP. I've got to quarantine with my son for 2 weeks tomorrow (my choice as if I don't then I won't have seen him for nearly a month!)

I know it's not my ex's fault, and I understand why it's put in place but I've just spent all of lockdown working in school etc and now I have 6 weeks off finally and I'm stuck in doors.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place x

3rdtimestupid · 03/08/2020 23:27

Any constellation the guidance says if you didn't travel you don't have to quarantine - only if they show symptoms x

3rdtimestupid · 03/08/2020 23:27

Consolation * 😂

Boom45 · 03/08/2020 23:30

Havent the govt put the canaries on the do not travel list now along with the rest of Spain? If they are then your kids will be travelling without insurance which would worry me more than him not wanting to quarantine with his own children (which is a dick move too btw)

Shizzlestix · 03/08/2020 23:36

Surely he needs to quarantine too, coming back from the Canaries? So he could keep them with him, tough on his gf!

LittleHootie · 03/08/2020 23:43

If I was working from home I'd probably let them go on holiday and have them quarantine with me afterwards. Mainly cos it wouldnt be different to life now, as am wfh with DC here. Also them being away on holiday would be amazing, a much needed break from the grind of parenting!

But if it's a big inconvenience to you then definitely refuse.

And he is a nob if he doesn't quarantine.

GabsAlot · 03/08/2020 23:46

i think the canaries are exempt from the banned list to travel but you still have to quarantine

dont think you have ot though op

Original poster
WhatwouldJudydo · 03/08/2020 23:52

To add I'm not working from home - i work in a school, I have the week they are away off and the first week of quarantine but I'm due back to work the first week, he also isn't taking youngest child on holiday so no break for me!

Looking on gov website it says canaries are on the do not travel list. Would this really invalidate the insurance? Two of the children have medical needs so if they were to get ill or stuck out there there's a strong possibility they would need medical treatment.

OP posts:
BluebellsGreenbells · 03/08/2020 23:54

Your Ex needs to quarantine on return.

The children depends on your wishes. Either you want them home and can prepare, or you don’t. I think you call the shots here.

BluebellsGreenbells · 03/08/2020 23:56

And if his wife/DP wants to work from home in peace then she needs to sort out a suitable arrangement. Dumping the kids in you while he goes out to work isn’t the solution.

Leaannb · 03/08/2020 23:59

@WhatwouldJudydo

To add I'm not working from home - i work in a school, I have the week they are away off and the first week of quarantine but I'm due back to work the first week, he also isn't taking youngest child on holiday so no break for me!

Looking on gov website it says canaries are on the do not travel list. Would this really invalidate the insurance? Two of the children have medical needs so if they were to get ill or stuck out there there's a strong possibility they would need medical treatment.

Why isn't he taking the youngest kid?
ellendegeneres · 03/08/2020 23:59

Op did you post this here before or on a single parents group on fb?
Rings a bell although I can’t remember which group or who you are, you being a teacher was what tipped it for me.
I’ll say here what I said there- he either isolates with them or they don’t go. There’s a pandemic and where they are going they need isolating because it’s highly infectious area given the number of cases.

The kids will understand. Just don’t let them go

Boom45 · 04/08/2020 00:02

Pretty sure if it is on the do not travel list it means they would be travelling without insurance. E111 is still valid until January so medical expenses would be covered by that but anything else would need to be covered by your ex

GabsAlot · 04/08/2020 00:03

oh if they need extra medical help then no i wouldnt let them go

i doubt a court wouold make you especially now

Doublechins · 04/08/2020 00:11

I wouldn't let them go no way.

It either inconveniences you when you have to quarantine them on their return or you don't see them for a month. Either way I'd be saying they weren't going.

Chloemol · 04/08/2020 00:12

I don’t believe he will get insurance cover

It’s his choice to take them, therefore he quarantines with them when they return. He will have to take the time off anyway to quarantine and he can entertain the kids whilst his partner is working

You can’t take the time off as your are expected to work

His choice to take them away in the middle of a pandemic, he puts up with the fall out on the return from the holiday

Collaborate · 04/08/2020 00:12

Tell him if he cannot quarantine with the kids for 2 weeks after his return then you're not handing over their passports.

That assumes you're happy for him to have them for that 2 week period. If you want them back at the end of th holiday then tell him he cannot go.

Who has the passports?

ineedaholidaynow · 04/08/2020 00:16

You need to get him to check the travel insurance. If he just has standard insurance it probably is invalid, you can get insurance to cover you even if FCO advise you not to travel but obviously it will be more expensive. I assume your DC’s medical needs are also disclosed.

hellywelly3 · 04/08/2020 00:18

I wouldn’t let them go. Especially with them having medical needs Spanish hospitals didn’t cope well with the first wave.

Durgasarrow · 04/08/2020 00:23

This is not okay. You know it is not. His trip, his quarantine.

Soontobe60 · 04/08/2020 01:19

Their travel insurance will be invalid so I would be refusing to let them go. They can't self isolate with you as you will be back in school during the isolation period. I doubt you'll get paid time off!
Under the rules, they should be isolating with him for the full period.

Mumshappy · 04/08/2020 01:22

My dcs wouldnt be going.

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