AIBU to think that unusual things happen when someone is dying?

[Jelly4444]

Just to brighten up everyone's day...🤣

I'm not a big believer in religion, the paranormal or an afterlife but I do believe that unusual things happen when someone is dying.

When my grandmother was dying we saw a bright light raise up from behind her house and float in the sky for a few mins (irish countryside, halfway up a mountain!). We couldn't work out what it was. We all agreed that none of us were afraid and that we felt calmer after seeing it.

When my father was dying in hospital there was an overwhelming smell of beautiful flowers in the room. When I try to remember it now I believe it was freesias. I even gave my father a hug and a sniff to work out if the smell was from him . Only my sister and I could smell it but a nurse came in at one point and she remarked on the smell of flowers too. My father was convinced his mother in the room. He also thought that there was a young girl there too. He had a sister who died before he was born.

When my grandfather died suddenly (he was ill but we didn't expect it) we saw lights in the sky again.

When my other grandmother was dying she thought that there was crows in the room which was scary to say the least!!

I've been around other relatives when they were dying but didn't notice anything unusual. I would love to hear other people's experiences... or if you think its all nonsense!

AIBU to think that strange things happen when people are dying or is it just our minds playing tricks on us?

I’m not religious or spiritual but was with my grandma in hospital when she died. She smiled and said my grandads name (he’d died years earlier) just before she passed. She looked so happy and peaceful.

There is often a moment of complete clarity before death I believe. My Father, in the end stages of lung cancer, had barely moved or spoken for over a week. I'd nursed him at home.
The morning he died I popped my head around the door as the MacMillan nurse was leaving. He looked at me, smiled broadly and said 'Morning hexy!' clearly. The nurse was amazed.
He died 3 hours later.

It was the strangest thing, yet it gave me endless comfort.

I think that it's all nonsense. I think that maybe there is a moment of clarity before death but that the lights, smells, etc is a figment of our imagination. However it is there to comfort us.

Definitely agree with @hexiandiknowit about the clarity. We cared for my nan at our home, and for a month before she died she barely spoke, and couldn't converse. The morning of the day of her death she was chatty and I could hear her singing to herself as I came downstairs! Spectacular really.

No, but I think we are more sensitive and attuned to what's going on around us and/or are under a lot of stress at these times.

@housemdwaswrong

Definitely agree with *@hexiandiknowit* about the clarity. We cared for my nan at our home, and for a month before she died she barely spoke, and couldn't converse. The morning of the day of her death she was chatty and I could hear her singing to herself as I came downstairs! Spectacular really.

I read a book a few weeks back where a character described it as 'Terminal lucidity'. Fascinating really.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terminal_lucidity

I wished it had lasted long enough for my Mum to come upstairs and speak to him as well, but by the time she got there he was asleep again and never woke up.

In terms of woo things I do believe but never seen.
However as a carer I can vouch that normally anything from a week to the day of death they seem to perk up. It's sad because its almost certain your going to lose them soon

I had an experience of great calm and clarity around the time my father would have died about 200 miles away. It was noticeable to me that day as I was just coming out of new baby fog and it was a very lovely moment but out of nowhere iyswim.

Now this was likely a complete coincidence but I like to think it was not.

The day my grandad died was really weird. I was pregnant and the baby didn't stop kicking all day. I had an anterior placenta and had lost her twin at 15 weeks so it wasn't usual to feel her kicking but that day she was making herself known. always wondered if there was a weird one in, one out link.

I’ve watched both of my parents die in the last nine months.

I didn’t experience anything unusual or inexplicable at all - and I’m very open to woo.

My nan died at home and her bed was in front of the French doors In The lounge. She kept telling my dad she could see her mom outside the window looking through and she kept waving at her, this went on for days.
We were told it's hallucinations.
Also the day before she passed she wanted to eat and drink.

I think the same as Magnetfisher, we are more sensitive to things around us.

The freesia scent may have been ketoacidosis @Jelly4444. It's more commonly described as the smell of pear drops, nail polish remover or sweet tea but it is not dissimilar to the smell of freesias.

When my aunt died, a team of horses broke free from their field and collected outside her house. That was weird.

My father died suddently when we were on holidays. When we returned home, the clock had stopped at the exact time he'd died.

My nan was sitting in her loungeroom, when her great aunt came in, touched her on the shoulder and they had a chat. Later that day, nan got a call to say that great aunt had died, and that the aunt hadnt been out of her bedroom- therefore couldnt have physically visited by nans house at all!!! Nan was never sure whether the aunt was saying goodbye, her spirit was visiting or whether it was all in her head?

My grandad died when I was 7The night he died I was at home with a babysitter. Mum and dad were at hospital. I was yo young to know what was going on. But at 8pm I remember just knowing he was dead and that it would be ok. I felt him there. I knew. I never told anyone but years later I found his death certificate And he died at 8pm

My grandad died when I was 7.

We went to visit him in hospital and when it was time to leave it took ages - my mum was a faffer, sorting stuff, messing with his hair, cleaning bits. I remember my dad trying to hurry her along as the taxi was waiting and my grandad said “for gods sake, hurry up and leave. I’ve been waiting all evening to turn over and die, I don’t want to do it with an audience”.

When we arrived home the phone was ringing. Not long we’d left he’d rolled over in bed and died.

Bad tampered old sod

YANBU Lots of weird things happened when my Grandmother was dying. Experienced at the same time by different people on different rooms or floors of the house. Things like gusts of wind, freezing cold atmosphere all of a sudden, feeling things brush past us.

Lights going crazy like stranger things and then blowing in the 24 hours after she passed. The lights always blow or start flickering on her anniversary and the anniversary of other people’s deaths that we know, not just in our homes but at places of work, hobbies etc. Then go back to normal after the anniversary.

When my dad died he had a lady with him who he was friends with.

She said the window was kept open for him and the moments after he died a gust of wind seemed to come in, swirl around and was as though he was being ‘collected’ and taken ‘on’

Some might rubbish it but that was a huge comfort to me and still is.

I went to visit an Indian friends as her father had died. We are a very diverse group of friends with South American, European, Eastern European and South Asian in the mix.
She said that her father knew he was going to die because he saw a relative who’d passed away.
We all said that was well known from all our cultures as well. It was weird as we’re all from different religious and cultural backgrounds but the being ‘taken’ to death by a loved one already passed seems to be a common belief across many cultures.

My Dad knew when his mother died.

He had spent all night dreaming about her. Dreaming that they were touring London by taxi and doing all sorts of fun and frivolous things together. When he woke up in the morning he said to my mother that he felt she must have gone (she had been very ill for some years). Sure enough, she had died in the small hours.

I seem to remember reading somewhere that the "moment of lucidity" before death is a bit of an evolutionary throwback thing. Designed to give the dying person a chance to get themselves somewhere safe and comfortable and out of danger, before dying. Basically, being able to either physically move yourself, or tell someone to help move you back into your cave. :)

As for having "experiences" when someone dies... The logical part of my brain says it's just our brain's way of looking for comfort, but it's nice to believe.

A week or so after my dad's funeral, my best friend took me out for a cream tea. At one point she nipped to the loo, and then I heard, over the sound system, one of the songs that was played at Dad's funeral. It is NOT a common song, and is very niche. I felt like it was a message from dad, telling me it was okay to be happy and enjoy life again. I found it very comforting.

I only got to my mum a few hours before she died and I swear she waited for me. I was alone with her just after I arrived and I am sure she said my name. It brings me comfort to think of this, I have only told a few friends as it sounds a bit mad but everyone agrees that's what it was.
Who knows, like I say, I heard it and felt it so if it helps me eh.

At the start of his early onset dementia my dad used to tell us a joke about a squirrel ! It was a silly joke but he kept on repeating it to us on the phone or whatever and was convinced he kept seeing them in his garden. He often had many hallucinations.

He died from Covid in May. The day after he died , I saw a squirrel run past in the garden and I have never seen it around since!
My sister in law said she kept seeing a robin at her window too : my dad loved Robins.
It's all probably coincidence , but if I see any feathers around I always think it's my mum sending me a sign and I saw lots the weekend dad died. It's all probably nothing but it means something to me.
I know people will scoff but strange things do happen when people pass , Ive heard of clocks stopping and all sorts.

I work with end of life patients and I have so many story’s. Thing that I would have rubbished before I came into the profession. Me and a colleague were sorting a man hours from death. We both kept seeing a black shadow out the corner of our eyes but couldn’t see it looking directly at it.
The man we were caring for hadnt spoken a work in weeks.
He looked in the spot we were seeing the shadow an said, “ I’m coming dear, these lady’s are just making me comfy, I won’t be long”
He died before we had left the house but after we left his room.

I had another man who was adamant he was gonna die on a certain date, (cancer) lovely guy,
The day before he had gone to the rugby, been to lunch with his son, played with the grand kids. This was the Saturday
We even had the family telling us for weeks he was gonna die on this certain date.
Well low and behold all the family (even relatives from abroad) had turned up to his house on this day.
Sure enough Sunday morning he had taken a very big turn.
Actually to the point we had To make reports of what had been said and was looking at the bottles of morphine to see if he had been given more than he should have.
He hadn’t, as I was the one recording the amounts the night before so I knows how many bottles and how much was in each.
He died shortly after we arrived.

Turns out it was his wife’s birthday, and she had died 4 months previous!

Like I say so many story’s to tell.

Interesting to hear about the 'visits' from people from the dying person's past.

In her final days my Grandmother kept telling us that we had just missed seeing our great-aunt, her older sister and how lovely it had been to chat with her again. (This sister really brought grandma up ...but she died years before.)

It made sense that she was the one my Grandmother would want with her - rather than the husband or her parents, all of whom she had taken care of.

A friend who died of injuries in hospital kept seeing 'an old man' in the room - but didn't seem to recognise him.