AIBU to think that unusual things happen when someone is dying?

[Jelly4444]

Just to brighten up everyone's day...🤣

I'm not a big believer in religion, the paranormal or an afterlife but I do believe that unusual things happen when someone is dying.

When my grandmother was dying we saw a bright light raise up from behind her house and float in the sky for a few mins (irish countryside, halfway up a mountain!). We couldn't work out what it was. We all agreed that none of us were afraid and that we felt calmer after seeing it.

When my father was dying in hospital there was an overwhelming smell of beautiful flowers in the room. When I try to remember it now I believe it was freesias. I even gave my father a hug and a sniff to work out if the smell was from him . Only my sister and I could smell it but a nurse came in at one point and she remarked on the smell of flowers too. My father was convinced his mother in the room. He also thought that there was a young girl there too. He had a sister who died before he was born.

When my grandfather died suddenly (he was ill but we didn't expect it) we saw lights in the sky again.

When my other grandmother was dying she thought that there was crows in the room which was scary to say the least!!

I've been around other relatives when they were dying but didn't notice anything unusual. I would love to hear other people's experiences... or if you think its all nonsense!

AIBU to think that strange things happen when people are dying or is it just our minds playing tricks on us?

I think people rationalise what happens in real life and relate it to what they want to happen. It's their way of coping.

YANBU. I lost my DM last year, she was a big believer in white feathers being left by angels or loved ones in the afterlife. On her last day my DB and I were driving home and stopped at some traffic lights, a white feather fell from the sky and landed on the ground in front of our car. My jaw was on the floor. I was never much of a believer before then.

Not unreasonable at all, I've been a hospice nurse for 15 years now and have witnessed many unexplainable things. I Feel like I sound like grandpa pig from Peppa pig when I say "the stories I could tell!" Have a look at the work of Peter Fennick if this sort of thing interests you, in particular "the art of dying".

@Pinkgiraffe2991

YANBU. I lost my DM last year, she was a big believer in white feathers being left by angels or loved ones in the afterlife. On her last day my DB and I were driving home and stopped at some traffic lights, a white feather fell from the sky and landed on the ground in front of our car. My jaw was on the floor. I was never much of a believer before then.

I never believed it in at all, if I'm honest I secretly felt it was a load of old nonsense, but a couple of days after my Dad died I was driving to an important meeting and was having car problems and getting really stressed. I drove down a small lane (with my windows open) and a small white feather drifted into my car. I got to the meeting and it went really well despite me feeling stressed beforehand.

I love these stories..... My dad died last year of cancer. I live 90 minutes away and when we got the call at 6am one morning that he was dying and we didn’t have long, we drove so quickly to get there and 10 mins after I got there he passed away. My brother was with him first and although my dad seemed unconscious my brother told him I was on my way, he appeared to hold on and we all believed he had waited till I got there before he felt it was ok to go. This really helped me deal with the grief as I would have found it so hard if I wasn’t with him right at the end.

For weeks later I also saw white feathers every day. I wasn’t particularly looking for them but I saw them all the time and then, after his funeral. They stopped. I do still see them occasionally but not as often as I did just after my dad died. Very strange but oddly comforting.

My Nan died from sepsis and her last few days were not pleasant. She would only acknowledge my 11 month old son on her last day. She managed to talk to him and smiled for him. She also died just after we all left, I don’t think she wanted us there when she went.

I’ve been with a number of dying people and never seen, smelt or heard anything. All but one have been very peaceful.

As someone who cheated death I will say that I no longer fear it. At the point I was certain I would die (won’t say how, too outing), I accepted it. I though about the people I loved the most and I accepted it was over. As much as I didn’t want to leave them I was ok with it. It was very strange. It’s almost as if our brains are programmed to handle it when it comes.

My Mum died unexpectedly two years ago. After she’d died, my Grandmother, who had dementia and had not acknowledged Mum as her daughter for years, kept asking for her. Six weeks later Grandma died, and shortly before she did, she told Mum she was coming.

Thank you all for this thread. My dad died of dementia in a nursing home in April and due to lockdown none of us could be with him at the end. I last saw him 5 weeks before he died. When I saw him for the last time - and for the preceding and subsequent days and weeks, apparently - he was completely convinced that one of the other residents in the home was his father.

Nothing woo happened at any point but his death was a relief to us all as well as very sad. DS(12) and I were talking about him shortly after he died and I said I was sure he’s ‘up there’ in his chair with his dog sitting beside him, like they always did. DS suggested that his father is sitting on his other side. This image has brought me a lot of peace. His ashes are going to finally be buried on Monday and I’m seesawing between feeling very tearful and actually quite peaceful.

Yes I'm a carer & I've noticed people perk up then fade then perk up for a long time.

My mom saw my grandfather in a dream the night he passed, dressed in all white. He gave her several instructions such as staying a tight knit family(large family), E. T. C. The moment she woke up, she woke my dad, to tell him her dad had passed. They were still talking when the phone rang to tell her he had passed.
A week later, she swears she saw him again, as she had been inconsolable after his death. He came 'back' to tell her to stop mourning him, and draw her sibling together to celebrate his life instead. She was his favourite.

Before my Gran died, I saw a 'thing' in my hall of something with a white floaty dress.!
She always wore nighties and I had a feeling it wasn't long before she died. A week later she died. And I've not seen this 'thing' since

My grandma saw a beautiful garden , she was incredulous that we couldn’t see it .

I’m certain that the will to live (or die) is very strong. My Mum died a week or so after her 70th birthday. My aunt (her sister) died soon after her birthday. Father-in-law reached a milestone birthday before ‘giving up’. And all these had serious illness where they were categorised as terminally ill for months before their demise.

Not exactly the same because it was after the death but...

My Nan died a few years ago out of the blue. She died in her sleep in her own home, her hairdresser called over the next day for their appointment & was concerned that the back door wasn’t open so got the police over to break in.

Anyway, she died suddenly. It was devastating & I really didn’t know how to handle it. I cried for days!

A few days after she died I had gone to bed early & eventually fell asleep. I dreamt that I was in her living room with all the family & she was sat next to me but I was the only one who could see her. I was crying because I couldn’t understand why nobody else could see her. She patted her hand on my knee & said ‘it’s ok, I’m fine’.

I woke up with tears running down my face so had actually been crying in my sleep. But after that dream I did feel slightly better, I just knew it wasn’t just a dream, it was actually my Nan telling me she was ok. I had a similar dream years before when my grampy had died.

When my granny was dying with terminal cancer my dad installed a doorbell beside her bed downstairs. She could ring the bell and it would sound in the spare bedroom that was occupied by whichever family member was staying to help that night. My door removed the doorbell literally hours after she died as he didn’t want to be spooked by it ringing in the middle of the night. He kept the doorbell but didn’t use it for years. My parents live in a very remote area and decided it would be good to have a doorbell again as they would often miss a knock on the door. One evening when most of my fathers siblings were up staying we had had a few drinks and were chatting about the good old days. Everybody was in the lounge, it was the early hours of the morning. The bloody doorbell rang, nobody at the door. I’m sure it was Granny letting us know she was there!

I was raised Christian and therefore believe in souls, but have never really believed in ghosts. However, I did have something happen when my grandmother died. She died of respiratory failure several years ago, at home. The last two days we all stayed with her, and I would frequently brush her hair away from her eyes and off her face. The last night she was alive, I slept in the room next to hers and my dad sat with her. He kept getting up and walking past my door to the kitchen to get more coffee, and would wake me up. At one point, early in the morning, I woke up. I assumed it was my dad walking past. I felt something brush against my face and I swatted it away, thinking it was a fly, or the heating. Only, the heating wasn’t on and there have never been flies in my grandparents’ house. My dad came in the room a few minutes later to say she’d died. I don’t know what happened, but I won’t forget it.

In the run up to my grandad dying, he used to chat to his mum. This went on for about 8 weeks. He used to ask me where she had gone. One night he fell asleep chatting to her and died a couple of hours later. I don’t know whether it was hallucinations or real (to him) but it makes me happy to think that she was with him - even if it was only in his mind.

Not what happened when she died but my mother in law died in May she had breast cancer but covid finished her off,she was in nursing home and in continuous severe pain,but for three days before she died she was pain free and so calm and peaceful,she refused pain medication and food and slept on and off and just slipped away.
When talking with the pastor who sat with her a lot (obviously we weren’t allowed in to visit) said she had a serene calmness about her

The night my grandad died, I was tossing and turning in the night and heard a goose fly right past my window, honking away. I could hear the swoosh of its wings in the silence. This was about 1am. In the morning my dad called to say my grandad had passed away in the night. I've lived here for 9 years and never heard a goose fly past before, although they do migrate to a nearby estuary.

A year before my dad died he had a massive COPD attack. He crashed( ie heart completely stopped) twice. The next day he said there was a man and a woman with no face at the end of the bed, but they were not scary. 2 days later as he got better he said they had moved to the bed of the chap accross the room. The chap died that night. My dad was pretty much in and out the hospital for the next year, often for weeks at a time. He always said when he could see them standing next to someones bed. That person ALWAYS died that night. This must have happened at least 8 times before my dad died. Very strange

My daughter was born 2.5 hours after my nan died. We believe my daughter came to collect my nan, spent some time with her, before my nan led her to her life. My daughter has her eyes and sense of mischief. I woke up that day knowing that both things would happen.

Similar thing happened with my son. I was due the 19th and DH cousin was due the 20th. Cousin gave birth the 22nd, DH grandad died the 23rd, son was born 28th. We, for whatever reason, feel like grandad needed some time with son. There was no way they'd have been able to meet in this life due to locations and ill health.

My best friend died by suicide back in 2014. I had a dream about him and was distraught because he said he'd see me soon, and I was upset because he didn't know he was dead. I then had another dream about him where he told me that was last time id ever see him. He gave me a hug and I felt good. Then a year or 2 later I dreamt about him again and he was very shocked. His words :"you shouldn't be able to see me. You shouldn't be seeing me" and since then I haven't. But felt him with me when I gave birth to son, and at my dress fitting as well.