AIBU to think that unusual things happen when someone is dying?

[Jelly4444]

Just to brighten up everyone's day...🤣

I'm not a big believer in religion, the paranormal or an afterlife but I do believe that unusual things happen when someone is dying.

When my grandmother was dying we saw a bright light raise up from behind her house and float in the sky for a few mins (irish countryside, halfway up a mountain!). We couldn't work out what it was. We all agreed that none of us were afraid and that we felt calmer after seeing it.

When my father was dying in hospital there was an overwhelming smell of beautiful flowers in the room. When I try to remember it now I believe it was freesias. I even gave my father a hug and a sniff to work out if the smell was from him . Only my sister and I could smell it but a nurse came in at one point and she remarked on the smell of flowers too. My father was convinced his mother in the room. He also thought that there was a young girl there too. He had a sister who died before he was born.

When my grandfather died suddenly (he was ill but we didn't expect it) we saw lights in the sky again.

When my other grandmother was dying she thought that there was crows in the room which was scary to say the least!!

I've been around other relatives when they were dying but didn't notice anything unusual. I would love to hear other people's experiences... or if you think its all nonsense!

AIBU to think that strange things happen when people are dying or is it just our minds playing tricks on us?

My Grandad joined the Navy in 1940 and retired from it 40 odd years later. He had a pair of Robins tattooed on him about 6 weeks in to his first deployment and from then on they became his good luck charm.

When he died a group of robins set up an almighty racket in the garden (it was about 1am too), and on every anniversary/Birthday/Funeral etc since a robin has appeared in the house or garden as if he's said "I'm here, I'm still watching out for you". He was a very good man and such an influence on me I named my son after him, so I hope he's watching somewhere & proud of me.

I'm sure the birds are just a coincidence but I hope it's something he sends to check up on us every now and again so he knows we're ok.

I was with my grandpa when he died, I was the only one there. I just sensed he was about to go so I held his hand, said the Lord's Prayer, kissed his cheek and then he was gone. It was very peaceful and still moves me to tears thinking about it a couple of years later.

Not at the moment of death, but a few months after. My Grandad died when I was 11, shortly after which I started high school. I was struggling a lot and still grieving. I had a dream one night and we were sat in his car. We weren't talking, he was just sitting next to me. Then he put his hand on my shoulder and I actually felt it. It was really weird but comforting at the same time.

My Mum lost her grandad when she was a lot younger and about 10 years ago she had this ornamental cat on the fireplace. Said cat was always facing the centre of the room. Several times she came home to find it facing towards the window (no one else/pets in the house). She even put a piece of paper under it and drew round the outline. When she returned, the paper had stayed in place yet the cat was facing the opposite direction. Every time it happened, she could smell woodbines that he used to smoke. It stopped when she stored the ornament away because she was spooked by it.

Lastly, not a person, but when I had to have one of my cats pts a few years ago, the next day I had a visit. I heard her miaow (very distinctive and couldn't be the other one because he was standing beside me at the time) I looked up the stairs to see her bum disappearing round the bannister.

I like to think that the ones we've lost have a way of checking in and letting us know they're alright/still around

@MrsMoastyToasty

When my MIL died (after a short battle with breast cancer) I am convinced that she waited until my 2 SIL had left the house to get something to eat and that my BIL, who had traveled down from Scotland, and DH were with her. I am convinced that she didn't want her daughters to see her go but wanted her sons there.

Mum was in last stages of terminal cancer. Dr told us she would go within 24 hrs. Well 4 days later she was still with us in a state of semi consciousness. She suddenly became very lucid asked for tea and toast and had a great natter with a few of us in the room. We were thinking WTF? as Dad was in the corridor making funeral arrangements. That night my sister brother and I were by her bed, we were watching her slowly taking small raspy breathes convinced each one was her last. Around 4am I decided to go home, get a few hour sleep and come back around 9am and my sister said she would too. My brother stayed. By the time we got home he called to say she had died. I’m convinced she didn’t my sister and I to watch her die.

In the days leading up to my stepfather's death he kept calling out a male first name, which happened to be the name of his favourite (deceased) brother. His daughter was convinced that his brother was 'visiting' him to help him to pass. He also kept reaching out to stroke an imaginary dog. The family had had a dog once which died.

Afterwards I went on the internet to see if there were any accounts of similar things happening, and there were loads of accounts of people being 'visited' by deceased family members just before they died themselves.

I was lying in bed in the early hours of the morning when I saw several lights, like fairy lights in the room. There was a feeling of peace and tranquillity like I've never felt before. As I was watching them I heard my grandad's voice, he was terminally ill at the time, saying "you'll get that house," and saw a vision of it. We were moving at the time and had seen a property we thought we'd never be able to have. At 8am I received a call telling me my lovely grandad had died. He also frequently saw a child in his room before he died.

Oh and we did get the house!

I heard our cat jump down off the windowsill 12 days after he died just after I’d woken up. I’m not drowsy in the morning unlike dh who takes about 20 minutes to come round.

Anyway, I told dh who assured me I was batshit. A couple of days later he was on AL so I left before he woke and he heard it then. He had the good grace to tell me.

I still hear it occasionally. Dh has heard him miaow (Bengal so distinctive sound) and a few months ago was talking to me while doing food and opened the utility door then looked at me shocked because he’d heard the cat scratching to come in and he’d opened it automatically just we’d been trained to.

I think around death, we are often attuned to things that always happen but that we don't notice normally.

When my husband was close to death the hospice thought he would die within the next 24 hours and for anyone who still needed to visit to come quickly. Well I sat with him for the next week as he drifted in and out of consciousness only the pain bring him around briefly as they had to move him to do his personal care. I wiped stomach acid as it dripped from his nose and listened to his death rattle whilst I prayed for him to die and his suffering to end. I thought maybe he didn’t want me to see him die so was waiting for a time I was there so would go into the gardens for a hour and told him if he wanted to slip away now I would understand. He still hung on. I played his favourite music to him and what we considered our song but still he hung on. I told him it was time to go now and his parents were waiting to welcome him but still he hung on. Everyone who needed to say goodbye had done. His body was riddled with cancer and he was in tremendous pain but he didn’t want to go and leave me. I begged him to let go and promised when my time comes I will find him again in our next life. That day he sipped into his final coma and died 24 hours later.
I remember coming home from the hospice and sitting in my garden waiting for a sign from him that he was now at peace. Nothing came but silence. I was desperate for a sign but nothing came and it took me a very long time to realise that the silence was the sign. After hearing nothing but his pain for the months previous the silence was the sign his pain was over.
So whilst I don’t believe in the white light type sign I do believe if we can be given comfort from our loved ones once they have died in simple everyday things like silence.

I'm convinced my Nana waited for me to get home from holiday before she died. I'd cared for her for 4 years and then she had to go into a home because we both knew her dementia was getting to much for me to handle alone (I had 4 year old twins as well).

We had booked a week away in a caravan and in her lucid moments she told me I must go as the girls needed a break and she wanted to hear about it. Four days in she had a stroke. My Aunt and Uncle told me not to rush back because the Drs had said Nana wouldn't last the night. She did. Then another day. At that point I decided to come home, but I had to break the trip up as it was a long drive (St Ives to Scottish border) and I hadn't realised a festival was ending so the traffic was horrific. When I got home I visited her and told her all about the trip. My Aunt, Uncle, cousins and siblings had had a rota so she wasn't alone at any point. That night I sat with her with my Aunt. About 3am a nurse came to the door with tea for us and while we both had our backs to her she died. I don't think she wanted any of us to watch her go.

FIL also had a day of being really lucid just before he died at Christmas. His dementia has been really bad for the last 2 years.He didn't recognise MIL, DH or BIL let alone anyone else.
Yet that day he recognised everyone, asked to see all the grandkids, played a game with them, met BIL's newborn, and it was just a really lovely family day. He died at 3am the next morning, which co-incidentally was the same time he was born.

AIBU to think that strange things happen when people are dying or is it just our minds playing tricks on us?

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

... sorry, saw the movie again yesterday, and couln't resist.

Very seriously, death or near-death definitely causes very real things to happen in people's heads (onlookers, and the person themselves?)
I have no idea why, and what these things mean. But at the very least, our brains tell us the event is significant, and we should pay notice.

Whether we believe in afterlife or not, death itself is an unescapable reality, which probably no one is ever truly ready for, but we should perhaps try and prepare for, at a "spiritual/psychological" level? And maybe these things our brains perceive help us do just that?

My neighbour passed in a hospice recently and for about 5 days before, everyday, my cat curled up and slept on the mat on his front step. Not done it since he passed

My mum died in April of COVID. I used to call her "old bat" as a joke between us. Exactly a month after her death, we were in our kitchen and a bat flew through the bottom of our back door, right around the kitchen and living room and out of the front door. I've never seen bats where we live before. I really believe it was her spirit telling me that she's fine, and it has cheered me up ever since. (I am not a woo sort of person, btw.)

I was too consumed with grief to notice anything when DH died. But when we scattered his ashes on the beach, we dug a hole in the sand for the ashes then waited for the tide to wash them out. Just as the sea filled the hole and the wave retreated, a bright ray of light broke through the dusk and stayed there temporarily. I am not really woo, but I did take comfort from that.

Some people don't believe in this kind of thing and thats fine, my other half being one of them. But I have such strong senses when it comes to things like this! I have had many dreams in the past that have come true also.

My Nan was dying in hospital and I stayed until the very early hours, I left at about 1-2am as I was starting an IVF cycle the next day (at 6am to be exact) so I knew I had to be up in a few hours. My mum, uncle and grandad stayed with her the whole time. She had been holding on for about 9 hours. It got to about 4am and my mum and uncle decided to go get some fresh air, they were gone 5 minutes and my Nan had passed away. She was a very proud woman and I dont think she wanted to pass infront of her family and was ok with doing it in front of my grandad. When I got home I tried to sleep but was in and out due to "waiting for that phone call" I woke up bolt up right in bed at about 4am and I felt a feeling I'd never felt. I still can't pin point the feeling. My mum then called me at 5am to say my Nan passed away about 4. Such a strange experience.

I also grew up with a family pet dog who was literally my world, he was my best friend. He was ill when I was about 25 and was in and out of the vets for a week. The day he died, I didnt go to work as I just had a feeling, I walked down to the shops and the whole way down a White Butterfly followed me, right next to my head. About 30 mins later my mum called and told me he had passed away, I asked her what time and it was the exact time I walked to the shop and the butterfly was following me. For about 3 weeks after that I had a White Butterfly with me constantly, even my partner who doesn't believe in this sort of thing even commented on how bizarre it was.

I do find those signs give me huge comfort and I'm glad it happens.

@Fluffycloudland77

I heard our cat jump down off the windowsill 12 days after he died just after I’d woken up. I’m not drowsy in the morning unlike dh who takes about 20 minutes to come round.

Anyway, I told dh who assured me I was batshit. A couple of days later he was on AL so I left before he woke and he heard it then. He had the good grace to tell me.

I still hear it occasionally. Dh has heard him miaow (Bengal so distinctive sound) and a few months ago was talking to me while doing food and opened the utility door then looked at me shocked because he’d heard the cat scratching to come in and he’d opened it automatically just we’d been trained to.

I have had this on a number of occasions since the deaths of my cat (Christmas morning 2017) and of my elderly labrador last November.

I like to think that those we have loved and lost never truly leave us.

There is a portrait of my cat hanging on the wall beside our hall window. It was painted by my DD the night after he had died and is a great likeness. It very rarely hangs straight. As if he is there, waiting for my back to be turned after I have straightened it, and he tips it sideways again. His way of saying that he hasn't gone anywhere.

I am sure I still sometimes hear my old labrador trotting across the floor in the way that only he ever did. I have had hair of his waft out from under furnishings which I have vacuumed many times since he died.

My grandad used to have one whisky every night before bed, on the day he passed his whiskey glass was in the sink from the night before just shattered, nothing else was in the sink, my nan got a new one out to replace it for that nights drink & when she went back in to pour him it later the new glass had cracked too.
When my nan passed the entire streets electrics went out for the first time ever. I didnt tell my son she had passed as he had school so wanted to wait until after, as we left to house to walk to school he said “isn’t it so peaceful out here this morning I’ve never felt like this before, weird” love all these stories!!

This is a bit different, but when my Mum died from a stroke as the result of an operation on her carotid artery in her neck (Designed to prevent a stroke), my six year old relative was very upset. They didn't tell her about the operation, just that Auntie had died because she was very old.
A few weeks later, she started telling her Nana (Mum's sister) that she was just going upstairs to talk to Jesus. They weren't a religious family. So one day her nana said to her "Ok, well while you're up there, can you ask Him how Auntie is?" The little girl said, without any hesitation, "Oh she's alright! She had a big cut on her neck but it's all better now!"

I meant to say, the little girl was due to have a couple of operations, so that was why they didn't tell her about Mum's operation.

Oh that’s strange, my mum had the moment of lucidity about half an hour before she died. She’d been in and out of consciousness for 2 days and when she had been awake she was very distressed and in pain. But for that ten minutes she sat smiling, talking about what was going to be on telly that night and how she fancied a cup of tea etc. Within the hour, she’d passed away.

Two definite things when my dad died. I’d been at the hospital for five days straight and on the day he died my brother came, so I told dad I was popping out to have a super quick shower. He was barely conscious. I remember getting out of the shower and looking in the mirror, and feeling a strange and strong sensation go through me. Minutes later my brother called me to tell me he’d gone.

The following week, DH and I went to stay at the hotel where we were married, one of the proudest days of dad’s life. As we drove down the long driveway, our first dance song, a very very unusual song, came on the radio. I’m certain it was dad.

I'm convinced my grandad didnt want to pass with me there. The nurses on his ward said it is very common for people to wait until relatives have left the room so much that they were encouraging me to take breaks away from the ward. I told him I loved him, there was nothing to be scared of and I was going to get some food then be back. He passed away before I returned.

My mother-in-law was nursing her terminally ill mother at home. At the time she was doing book-keeping for a local builder. One day the builder’s dog turned up at the house, having walked several miles from his home. She let him in - wondering what on earth he was doing there - and he went straight upstairs to sit with the dying lady. My father-in-law drove him back home in the evening. This pattern of behaviour continued for several days, the dog arriving like clockwork every morning, sitting quietly by the bed and then being taken home. He came one last time after she died during the night. He sat on the stairs until the doctor arrived to certify her death. After he was taken home he never came to the house again.

My Grandpa was a very religious man, from whom I'd hidden many things, including the fact that I was (at that time, many years ago) a smoker.

He had an unusual physical characteristic - think 'stripe of white hair in black hair' kind of thing, but not that - just another quite 'outing' thing.

The day he died and I got the news, I went out in the garden to smoke and ponder him/his life. A bird with the exact same unusual feature in its feathers sat on the wall facing me, "Tsk, tsk!" it said "Tsk, tsk!" and flew away again.

I've never seen it before or since and can't help but wonder if he came to give me a last telling off!