AIBU to think that unusual things happen when someone is dying?

[Jelly4444]

Just to brighten up everyone's day...🤣

I'm not a big believer in religion, the paranormal or an afterlife but I do believe that unusual things happen when someone is dying.

When my grandmother was dying we saw a bright light raise up from behind her house and float in the sky for a few mins (irish countryside, halfway up a mountain!). We couldn't work out what it was. We all agreed that none of us were afraid and that we felt calmer after seeing it.

When my father was dying in hospital there was an overwhelming smell of beautiful flowers in the room. When I try to remember it now I believe it was freesias. I even gave my father a hug and a sniff to work out if the smell was from him . Only my sister and I could smell it but a nurse came in at one point and she remarked on the smell of flowers too. My father was convinced his mother in the room. He also thought that there was a young girl there too. He had a sister who died before he was born.

When my grandfather died suddenly (he was ill but we didn't expect it) we saw lights in the sky again.

When my other grandmother was dying she thought that there was crows in the room which was scary to say the least!!

I've been around other relatives when they were dying but didn't notice anything unusual. I would love to hear other people's experiences... or if you think its all nonsense!

AIBU to think that strange things happen when people are dying or is it just our minds playing tricks on us?

When my great-auntie died apparently she said 'there's Colin, and he's got the baby with him'. Colin was my uncle (her nephew) who died aged 19, and the 'baby' was Colin's little brother who had died 10 years before Colin aged 5.

My dad and stepmum nursed my stepmums mum through cancer, and she moved in with them. She died in her bed at home. My stepmum had not left her side in weeks but that night, my dad convinced her to go down and watch a programme with him. When it finished, my stepmum went back upstairs. She said that she knew as and approached the door that her mum would be gone. She's convinced that her mum waited until she was out of the way to slip away.

My mum broke her leg in a fall and was in hospital for several weeks. She was in a bad way but we expected her to leave hospital and were trying to organise her future care. One morning I opened my bedroom curtains to see a single Magpie in the tree outside squawking constantly while looking towards the house. This went on for several minutes as I stood watching it. It struck me as unusual because, although I know Magpies squawk, I had never heard one do this for so long and so pointedly as if it was trying to tell me something. Shortly afterwards we got a call from the hospital to say mum had deteriorated and to get there quickly. She died later that day. I have heard Magpies squawking since, but never anything like that.

My maternal grandmother was awkward, in her way. I always jokingly reckoned she'd time her departure to be as awkward as possible to DM & DA. When she died, my mother was out of the country and had trouble getting hold of me due to phone problems, her booked airline then went bust, too, so she got stuck out in Portugal for extra time. My aunt was unable to come from the North to Surrey to help due to my uncle being sick and I had problems arranging to go and register the death (my aunt did it from afar, eventually, which was extra admin). Awkward indeed!

When my paternal uncle died, it was an unexpectedly beautiful day in the middle of a grey, cold, and rainy spring. I'm sure he was saying he was out of pain. He waited for my aunt to tell him it was okay to go, too.

One that is perhaps more malevolent. Used to have father's elderly business partner living with us before his Parkinsons became too much. He'd no family, just dad really, who was like a son to him. He'd never liked my mum much- jealousy. In the days after he died, mum heard his habitual humming noise around the house- empty but for her, the shower in his bathroom was also randomly turned on a few times when she was home alone, and she could smell his cigars. He had lived in a home for 2 years at this point, no lingering aromas & it was a huge house, she could smell him well away from what had been his self contained flat. Dad wasn't affected. Anyway, it stopped after my mum told him to sod off.

I went to visit my (now ex) dps Nan one day and as I passed the window I noticed she had an elderly lady visiting her who was sat in the chair on the far side of the room. I said to dp she had a visitor but when we walked in there was only his Nan there. I asked if she had had any visitors and she said not today. I felt a bit unnerved and didn't sit in that seat! His Nan suddenly passed away that same week and at her funeral I mentioned what I'd seen to a family friend and they said it sounded exactly like the Nan's sister, Mary who had died years earlier and used to sit in that chair (who I'd never heard of or even seen a picture of). A while later I went to see a psychic who said she kept seeing an orb over my head and that the name Mary kept coming to her!

I was warned that my relative might 'wake up' and appear more lucid in their final days, and this was what happened, after 2 days in a coma not eating and drinking, they sat up, ate a tiny bit of food, interacted, then started sleeping again. The hospice told me it is related to the brain swelling and contracting, due to not taking in water/food and is very common amongst brain/neurological/dementia patients- they also have hallucinations as well as lucidity. It's all a very strange thing.

In May of this year, I had 2 nights where I woke up feeling really frightened. Like, really scared, had to sleep with the light on. The day after the second night, my sister called me to say that my estranged Father had died that day.

My father had terminal cancer, spent the last few weeks of his life bedridden, gradually growing weaker and weaker. Eventually he slipped into delirium, which continued until he died shortly before midnight on the third day. There was nothing remotely spiritual about it, no 'signs', no reassuring shadows, lights, smells, or anything of that nature.

I don't believe in an afterlife so didn't expect to see anything if that ilk anyway. Personally, I think it's all self-induced delusion designed to distract from the trauma. I don't doubt people believe they've seen or heard things, but I think it's more telling that there isn't a single shred of documented, creditable evidence that suggests anything like this actually occurs.

Oh, and my daughter got her first period on the same day that he died which just struck me as mind boggling that 2 such huge things happened on the same day!

I seem to remember reading somewhere that the "moment of lucidity" before death is a bit of an evolutionary throwback thing. Designed to give the dying person a chance to get themselves somewhere safe and comfortable and out of danger, before dying.

If you're just about to die, what do you need to keep safe from?

Having been through the passing of my mom in 2010 and in 2018 with my late husband I've seen, felt so much with them in that time too long to explain.

The unseen has to be experienced. It is not physically seen in an earthly way.

You have only to look at Quantum Physics to know that, what we see with our physical eyes is not what is

Yes i am going very deep there. There are spiritual laws. Why wouldn't there be!

My granny was rushed to hospital after being found unconscious and not breathing. Me, my parents and siblings lived hundreds of miles away but rushed up to see her and stayed a few days. I was early 20's and had arranged childcare for my 2 toddlers. She was in high dependant in a coma. We were advised to say our goodbyes, however she regained consciousness and was moved from high dependancy to a normal ward.
A couple of weeks later I got this sudden urge to drive up with my 2 DC (then toddlers) without the rest of my family to visit. It was a 3.5 hour car journey and I had no intentions of staying over. I just felt she should meet my youngest DC as they had not met yet.
We visited, she played with my DC and we said our goodbyes. 10 minutes after I arrived home my DF (his mum) phoned to tell me she passed away. I was in total disbelief as I had just seen her a few hours earlier and she was fine (sitting in the chair next to her bed, playing with DC, chatting).

I haven't lost anyone else I was really close to. But my DParents are getting on, my DF had a big heart attack last year and I often become overwhelmed at the realisation I will get 'that' call. This thread and everyone's experiences are really comforting.

@UnaCorda

I was wondering the exact same thing. Surely nature would have you drop dead in the most awkward place possible, say in the path of a group of voracious predators, so the remainder of your group could escape and survive.

My MIL had a (reasonably unusual) three letter first name. When she died, for a few days after we kept on seeing cars with her first name as the registration. Was weird but made us smile.

There are spiritual laws. Why wouldn't there be

There's no requirement for 'laws' to govern something, 'spirituality', that is entirely a construct of the human mind.

My gran died 3 hours after my son was born, I had a difficult birth and haemorrhaged just after and had a rough few hours, during this time I was convinced my gran kept popping into the room to make sure I was ok. It was months later a lady who turned out to be a medium came up to me and said your gran left so you could stay!

I used to care for a lady who only communicated in Welsh and she said everyday for a week 'mam a dad, oooh mam a dad, dwi'n barod' whilst staring in the corner of the room ❤️

When mother died I felt nothing. People ask how I was and I'd say I'm OK because I was and the amount of people who said No you're not, you can't be... Well I bloody was. Drove me bloody mad. Not every death means you'll cry or grieve

I was the same when my mother died. I hadn't seen her the week before she died but my dad had and he said that she was being even more difficultevil bitch than usual. Got a call on a Friday morning to say she'd taken a turn for the worse and could either me, my siblings or my dad go to her. Dad went. We refused. Died early hours of Saturday morning. Didn't know until my phone rung. Didn't care. Don't care whether she had any experiences. Dad went home about an hour before she went and said she had been unconscious since the syringe driver was put in. No idea if she said or even thought about her children, but even if she had a death bed change in personality couldn't make up for a lifetime of being a bitch. With some people you feel nothing but relief when they are gone.

My brother died in March.😢When I collected his ashes and put them in my car love Train by the
o‘jays was playing. Which was the final song at his funeral

I'm not religious and don't believe in paranormal activity but some strange things happened before and after my mam died. I have memories that arnt mine they are things that happened either before I was born or when I was very young of conversations and events involving my mam. I'm not sure what it means.

my brother died in November last year. We took turns being with him at his bedside. My SIL took a break to sit in the quiet room and a few minutes later he died. My dad went to tell her and a couple of hours later she asked us if it had been stormy outside. It had not but just before my dad got to her to tell her the news she had felt a strong gust of wind blow past her as she sat reading. I strongly believe my brother had to see her en route to heaven. 💜♥️💙

Years ago my Nana was poorly in hospital. We'd visited a number of times and she she looked ill. One night I visited with my mum and she looked amazing, I asked her if someone had been and done her hair! When I left she said " night night God bless" she always said that to me when I was a child but hadn't said it for years. I knew as soon as we left the room that that would be the last time we saw her. She died the following afternoon after constantly telling my auntie to move because the was in the way of the light ( she was in a darkened room). I'm not religious at all but my Nana was.

I have nothing to add but I love reading these!

@Wonkydonkey44 I had a near death experience when I had sepsis and I was sitting in the most incredible garden. I was very aware I could choose to come back inside or stay there in the garden. I chose to "come in" and here I am, but I'm much less afraid of death now, if that makes sense. I hope your grandma is in her beautiful garden xx

We didn’t realise my Dad was dying the day he did. Though we knew it was days or weeks away. My mum popped out and I was sat with him and I realised he was going v soon- I called her to rush back but was certain she wouldn’t make it - she made it - then two minutes later the priest cane and he died within a minute holding my Mums hard. He totally held on. It was was beautiful and odd.

My granny said quite a few times in the days leading up to her death that my grandad was in the room and that he’d come to get her (he had passed 8 years previously)

I’m sure it is something biological going on where the mind is comforting the body in distress but it made us all feel better that she was calm and looking forward to being with the man she adored again.