AIBU to think that unusual things happen when someone is dying?

[Jelly4444]

Just to brighten up everyone's day...🤣

I'm not a big believer in religion, the paranormal or an afterlife but I do believe that unusual things happen when someone is dying.

When my grandmother was dying we saw a bright light raise up from behind her house and float in the sky for a few mins (irish countryside, halfway up a mountain!). We couldn't work out what it was. We all agreed that none of us were afraid and that we felt calmer after seeing it.

When my father was dying in hospital there was an overwhelming smell of beautiful flowers in the room. When I try to remember it now I believe it was freesias. I even gave my father a hug and a sniff to work out if the smell was from him . Only my sister and I could smell it but a nurse came in at one point and she remarked on the smell of flowers too. My father was convinced his mother in the room. He also thought that there was a young girl there too. He had a sister who died before he was born.

When my grandfather died suddenly (he was ill but we didn't expect it) we saw lights in the sky again.

When my other grandmother was dying she thought that there was crows in the room which was scary to say the least!!

I've been around other relatives when they were dying but didn't notice anything unusual. I would love to hear other people's experiences... or if you think its all nonsense!

AIBU to think that strange things happen when people are dying or is it just our minds playing tricks on us?

My beloved nana died in the middle of the night. I was dreaming that I was sat with her on a bench just watching the world go by, until the wind picked up. She said something and I couldn’t hear her, she repeated it - ‘I have to go love’. And she vanished.

Not personally, but my GM felt strongly about this.

She and her male cousin were raised pretty much as brother and sister as his mother was unwell and thus he lived with his aunt (my GGM).

They were the same and and apparently inseparable.

Que the war and he signed up as an RAF pilot and was involved in the battle of Briton.

My GM was stationed in Plymouth having joined the WAAF.

Her cousin was due leave to visit her but the day before my GM said she saw him in her digs and thought he'd come early as a surprise.

Apparently he smiled at her and then turned the corner hidden from view and simply disappeared.

Two days later (and a day after he was due to visit but didn't turn up) GM got confirmation that he'd been shot down over the North Sea and killed in action - just at the time she'd seen him. She said she knew he was dead after he "disappeared".

Overall GM wasn't a particularly "woo" person and didn't believe in lingering ghosts but she did believe that her cousin came to say goodbye and let her know he was ok and she thought it was his final gift to her as he died.

I've obviously no idea how true this is but my DM still has the letters they sent to each other during the war and it's obvious they cared deeply (in a friendship/sibling way) for each other.

So true or not I'm glad my GM got some comfort even if it was from her imagination (though she was adamant about what had happened).

I knew when my dad died. I was 6. My parents were separated and unknown to me my dad had been taken to hospital following his third and ultimately fatal heart attack. It was like a change in energy or a switch flicking and I knew he was gone. I was a child and had no reason to suppose he would die then, although I was aware he was generally not well. Not long after the phone rang and I remember telling my mum that it was someone ringing to tell her daddy was dead.

I have found all these stories so moving.

My mother died after a four year battle with breast cancer. She was 45 and I was almost 11. She died at home, surrounded by her many brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, cousins and us, her immediate family. It was dignified and I didn't have any "woo" moments as she was dying.

However, over the years, my sister and I would have these dreams of her or just moments where we felt her presence. Most of the time, it was during significant times in our lives i.e., pregnancies or deaths of her siblings or times of significant changes for us. It was definitely something comforting to us. Every time my sister and I chat, we ask, "Everything okay? Has Mom been?" It's a question we ask each other when we think the other has something going on and we discuss it. We can laugh about it but sometimes we have significant issues that we need to get off our chests.

In 2003, I dreamt my mother over a few days. I called my sister and told her that I had dreamt her. She was hesitant but informed me that our father didn't want me to worry but that he was diagnosed as having prostate cancer. He recovered from it but over eight years, it kept recurring and I knew about it because I felt my mother's presence over the years before he ever told me.

In 2010, I woke up to a voice saying that I needed to go back to my hometown. My sister called a few hours later to tell me that our cousin had died during the night of a brain aneurism but she also felt something was wrong with our father too.

My father picked me up at the airport but something seemed really different about him. I felt it worse when I was at his home. I kept feeling a presence around him. He finally told me that his cancer had returned but that it was too difficult for him to fight it. He joked and said that he knew something was wrong when his sister, Maria, kept appearing in his dreams. He was terminally ill.

11 months later, he was sent home from hospital for the last time. I traveled to spend his last days with him and he was in really good spirits. He was laughing and chatting and I realized that he was directing his conversation to someone in the room. Apparently, it was his dead sister, Maria. He would tell me that Maria was going to be waiting for him at a train station so they could both "go home". He told me all sorts of things over the days but he kept mentioning that he had to be on a train by 10pm. At one point, he told me that he kept losing his fare, his two pesos (he was from Mexico) and would get agitated that he couldn't find his money. I would give him change from my pocket to placate him.

He would insist over and over that the rains were coming and he needed to be on the train by 10pm and would ask us over and over what time it was. At one point, he asked for his two pesos and looked at my sister and me in the eyes and said, "I had to leave now. I have my money and Maria is waiting. The rain is coming at 10pm. Okay?" We nodded in agreement and he died at that moment. It was 9:50pm. At 10pm, there was a rainstorm and rained for an hour.

It's been 39 years since our mother died and nine for our father and I don't really sense my mother anymore and neither does my sister. In a strange sort of way, I miss that. I liked having the comfort of my mother around us.

My grandmother was dying and my dad (her son) was working abroad - he dashed home as soon as he could when he heard the end was near, but it took him nearly two days as he wasn't somewhere with direct connections to the UK, and during that whole time she was unconscious. She died less than an hour after he made it to her bedside - we have no doubt that somehow she held on until he was there.

I was sitting with my dm. She had dementia and hadn't spoken lucidly for a year or two. She'd deteriorated rapidly and was sleeping most of the time.
That evening she suddenly woke up and started staring at something on the ceiling. She pointed at it and looked at me, using her eyes to communicate and repeatedly glancing back and forth at it. She looked genuinely surprised. It was as if she was saying 'that's so and so, what on earth are they doing here !', just the way she kept on looking incredulously at me. She then fell back off to sleep and died the next morning just as I'd nipped to get a coffee from the shop next door
.

I also felt my cat jump on my bed in the early hours of the day he died. Except he was at the vets in a very bad way. Later that morning the vet rang to advise putting him to sleep ☹️ He usually came up to me and it was just as if he was keeping to routine to the last. And also maybe saying goodbye as he was unconscious and fitting when I arrived at the vets. Still miss him 12 years on.

As I was sitting in my kitchen reading this post, one of my kitchen drawers has just popped open. The logical thing to think would be that one of the soft close things has had a blip.

I often smell aromas that remind me of my grandparents. I know it's probably imagined, but it does give me comfort. I also fancy that I hear someone calling my name occasionally. My grandmother was a believer and some thought she had some clairvoyant powers, and she said that if that happened it was someone who had died looking out for you.

I had a really odd experience many years ago. A public figure had died, and I was watching news covering of their funeral thinking something like 'what's it all about if this can happen'. A really clear thought came into my mind that if I were to see three stars then I would know... It was so clear that I went to the front door to see if I could see them, but of course nothing there. The following morning, as the the light was coming through my bedroom curtains, it formed 3 spheres on the wall in front of me. I would say I am not a believer, but it made me jump and put my head back under the duvet. Don't know what I was scared of though, it was either my imagination or a lovely message.

Such a cool thread thank you

I nipped out for a few hours - I wasn't expecting so many replies!

I think its very comforting to hear these stories and hope that, just maybe, our loved ones are hanging around somewhere nearby!

Still laughing at your kitchen drawer popping open @NHSEA

@HexyAndIKnowIt

There is often a moment of complete clarity before death I believe. My Father, in the end stages of lung cancer, had barely moved or spoken for over a week. I'd nursed him at home. The morning he died I popped my head around the door as the MacMillan nurse was leaving. He looked at me, smiled broadly and said 'Morning hexy!' clearly. The nurse was amazed. He died 3 hours later.

It was the strangest thing, yet it gave me endless comfort.

I completely agree with this. My grandad was in a cancer hospice and was on an oxygen mask 24/7. Couldn't speak without getting out of breath so barely spoke and always looked so sad and in pain. The day he died I visited him in the morning and he was chirpy, chatty and like my old grandad. I couldn't believe it when we got a call later that day. But atleast I have the memory of him being happy and chatty and not hooked up to loads of machines

At uni I worked in an old people’s home. I loved it but unfortunately saw a lot of people pass. Usually you could tell, no matter how ill someone was they would usually seem to rally a bit, like a last hurrah. I believe there’s an energy shift at death that is clearly noticeable, I guess this could manifest in many ways. They also used to Often talk about seeing children in the days running up to their death. I don’t think death is anything to be afraid of, all the old people I saw dead or dying always seemed to have a sense of pure peace and love surrounding them at the end.

I’ll pre face this by saying I’m sure it was a neurological reaction rather than spiritual but...

When my great granny was nearing the end, she was unconscious, and hadn’t spoke, or woken for days. We were sat round her bed as she was dying, her breathing was laboured and it wasn’t nice to see. Suddenly, her breathing slowed and calmed down, she opened her eyes and smiled, and said ‘Mama, Mama’ then closed her eyes and died in the next breathe. It was actually a beautiful ending to see, and although I’m not really a believer, it bring comfort to think there maybe a possibility that her mum came to meet her, and take her to wherever spirits go

I seem to remember reading somewhere that the "moment of lucidity" before death is a bit of an evolutionary throwback thing. Designed to give the dying person a chance to get themselves somewhere safe and comfortable and out of danger, before dying. Basically, being able to either physically move yourself, or tell someone to help move you back into your cave.

How could evolution be involved when someone is dying- at that point they're hardly going to pass their genes on, are they?

And as for getting somewhere out of danger- they are dying, right?

@LunaNorth blinking heck. That's tough. I'm sorry.

@HexyAndIKnowIt Thanks, I didnt know it had a a name. Interesting.

My father died and a couple of nights later I had a vivid dream where he was holding me tightly while i cried and kept telling me it was alright. I know that this wasn't a woo thing, that it was just a dream, but it was incredibly comforting.

More woo afterwards. My gran passed, end stage cancer. No lucid moments before death or anything, she tried to say something but was so weak nobody could work it out. It haunts us still. But before my gran passed we never ever had robins in our garden, ever. They were her favourite bird, and the month after she passed, robins began to nest. There is just one robin that I swear follows me. I ended up in hospital 30 mile away, and there was a robin. Could be complete coincidence, but it brings me great comfort. And I often smell her perfume, nobody wears her perfume and every now and then I get a waft of it. I miss her so much so these little things give me some kind of hope that she's ok and still watching out for me

My dad and uncle were with my grandmother for days constantly before she died. At the very end, she went when they popped out for some lunch. While that’s not the nicest of stories I believe there must have been some element of control there given it seems to be so common and the chances of it being pure coincidence low.

My nan was dying and I'd said my goodbyes. She wasn't responding but the nurses thought she could hear us still. The only relative she hadn't seen arrived as I left..... I had a 3 hour drive back to university. At one point I had to pull over and was overwhelmed by grief and loss. When I got home my boyfriend had had a call from my grandad- she'd died during my journey.

My dad said he noticed certain things just before my grandad passed. He said he felt another presence in the room and that when my grandad, everything seemed to stand still. My dad isn't spiritual or religious at all so I was quite surprised to hear that from him.

My beautiful mam passed away from cancer in March. She went downhill very quickly and slept for most of her 15 days in hospital. It was my parents wedding anniversary during this time and when my dad went into her room early that morning she was sitting up and smiled at him. She told him she loved him. That was the last proper conversation she had. This has given him great comfort. She died 6 days later and dad was with her but I had just gone home to see my children. I believe she waited for me to leave the room. I really don’t think she wanted me there when she passed.
I’ve always had visits from butterflies after someone close to me dies. When my godfather died I saw a butterfly in my house every day for 3 weeks after his death. One day recently a butterfly followed my everywhere around the house. There were windows open in every room but it was like it didn’t want to leave. It landed on me a few times. I like to believe it was my mother.

My Gran died when I was 18. She was in a nursing home because she had horrendous arthritis and couldn't look after herself but she was well otherwise and totally with it mentally. My mum visited her every day.
We got a call one morning. No reason to think anything but as soon as the phone rang I burst into tears because I knew whoever it was was going to tell us my Gran had died and sure enough it was the nursing home. She'd died twenty minutes before, just after asking for a cup of tea.

When my Dad died we had to clear out his flat with little time. It was a difficult task but I felt my Dad willing me on. On the long journey home down the M1 we saw double rainbows following us for about 30 miles.

When my brother died I was walking to school to collect my kids and saw his name on the pavement that had been squirted from a washing up liquid bottle. Children of the 70s will remember that squirting your name from a fairy liquid bottle passed the time!

I definitely agree that the dying wait for everyone to be there before they go.

When my dad was dying, we were all there except my cousin. Now he wasn’t close to my cousin but my aunt was desperate for her to be there as her support, she was travelling across the country and it was unlikely she’d make it in time. However my dad hung on until she was there. Literally the second she threw her arms around her mum my dad died.

When my mum was dying 5 years later, she was awake but very much not with us, she was able to look at each of us but there was hardly any recognition. My eldest brother was travelling to get to her side too. He arrived just as she was being moved to a side room where we could all be with her. As the nurse wheeled her to the door my mum mumbled my brother’s name, the nurse turned to us to check he was there. As soon as the nurse told her he was with her, my mum died.

My father had dementia but was extraordinarily lucid just hours before going into a coma and dying.