Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm not the keeper of milk

146 replies

TellingTelephone · 01/08/2020 19:40

There is a story behind this but it is dull and so I'll keep it to the bare minimum.

DP has essentially told me it is my fault he didn't get any milk when he popped into the local one stop for "supplies". He claims he didn't know we needed milk even though he has been making cups of tea today. "How was he suppose to know" he asks... because he has eyes and a brain too, surely?

It's not a massive deal but him telling me it's my fault due to my poor communication skills has filled me with silent rage.

OP posts:
Mum2jenny · 01/08/2020 19:42

Learn to survive without milk would be my advice. Most ppl who were students can.

Original poster
TellingTelephone · 01/08/2020 19:44

I can survive without milk. I don't like it. It isn't about milk... But thank you.

OP posts:
MulticolourMophead · 01/08/2020 19:44

YANBU, and it's fuck all to do with communication skills.

If he has the ability to makes drinks, he has the ability to realise that the milk may need replacing.

My DS can be like that with squash. He's 16 and I told him to tell me when he needed more.

But what's really behind this, is that your DH thinks keeping track of what food/drink needs buying is your job.

user1493413286 · 01/08/2020 19:46

I have a similar irritation with DH; I’m supposed to keep track of everything (even things like his cereal that I don’t eat) and if I don’t notice it’s low and buy more then it’s somehow my fault?!

MsVestibule · 01/08/2020 19:46

I had exactly this problem, so I made DH Keeper Of The Milk and we no longer have this problem. Actually, we do, but now I’m the one who says to him ‘why don’t we have any milk?’ in an accusatory fashion. It’s great.

MsVestibule · 01/08/2020 19:48

It isn't about milk

I know it’s not. It’s about being responsible for being responsible for absolutely every bit of life admin, isn’t it?

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 01/08/2020 19:48

YANBU 😔

Postmanbear · 01/08/2020 19:50

My DH gets annoyed when I don’t buy things that only he eats and he’s run out of. I have a list on the fridge and if it’s not added it’s not my problem.
Your DH doesn’t notice because it’s not his job in his eyes. Make it his problem by sending him back out to get more, maybe next time he will bother to look properly.
This is such a typical mental load thing.

Original poster
TellingTelephone · 01/08/2020 19:50

@MsVestibule ahh that type of passive aggression speaks to me. I shall remember this and attempt to pass the responsibility of Milk Keeper on to him.

So glad I'm not alone!

OP posts:
PawPawNoodle · 01/08/2020 19:54

@Mum2jenny

Learn to survive without milk would be my advice. Most ppl who were students can.
What are you on about? I never encountered a single student at university that had to forego milk for some reason.
DookaDakkaDikku · 01/08/2020 19:57

I have milk delivered in bottles, it is great. I was forever running out to the shop. I know it's more expensive, but it's worth it!

iklboo · 01/08/2020 19:57

Learn to survive without milk would be my advice. Most ppl who were students can.

Why should she? Why can't the bloke realise they need milk and buy it? It's not DNA specific. What has being a student got to do with anything? Why would students go without milk? It's hardly printer ink prices.

TumbleBingQuack · 01/08/2020 19:59

I second having a milk delivery.

We literally never run out, and maybe you can make the paying of the milk delivery DH's job.

iklboo · 01/08/2020 20:01

@DookaDakkaDikku - we do too, and eggs. It's been a game changer. Plus we leave the empties out for recycling. It's not much more expensive than the shops.

Iwantalonglie · 01/08/2020 20:01

YANBU. In fact, I would be tempted to hide the milk from now on until he assumes the role of Keeper of the Milk.

BillywilliamV · 01/08/2020 20:02

But the Angel Gabriel came to me in a dream and told me that you ARE the keeper of milk OP.
Many are called, few are chosen...

MrsGrindah · 01/08/2020 20:02

Agh this is my DH. He also decides to cook and then goes “ I need XYZ ingredients “ looking at me as if I can magic them out of my bra.

OneWomanOneDog · 01/08/2020 20:03

@PolPotNoodle

Are you for real? My flatmates and I shared milk and bread and we regularly ran out of both 🤣

It's a rite of passage thing i think Grin

islandislandisland · 01/08/2020 20:04

YANBU. I got my DP to download the Tesco app so he can add to our delivery too rather than informing me what we need as if I didn't know already and all he's ever added to it is 4 giant pizzas and about ten packets of biscuits 'because they're all 50p!' And he still tells me what we've run out of. Men suck

Original poster
TellingTelephone · 01/08/2020 20:04

I don't want a milk delivery. It shouldn't be that hard for him to clock we need milk. It's funny how he knows if we he has run out of beer and is down the shop pronto to correct this crime against humanity.

OP posts:
MulticolourMophead · 01/08/2020 20:07

@MrsGrindah

Agh this is my DH. He also decides to cook and then goes “ I need XYZ ingredients “ looking at me as if I can magic them out of my bra.
DS would do that the night before his practical cooking lessons at school. I got him trained to tell me what they were in advance, then made him come shopping with me to get them. I even sent him shopping on his own towards the end.

All ended well, he got almost full marks for the practical exam, so I understand. He now likes to contribute to the cooking rota, and cooks at least once a week.

Original poster
TellingTelephone · 01/08/2020 20:07

@MrsGrindah if Tesco made bras... I assume it is your fault you can't.

OP posts:
autumnboys · 01/08/2020 20:07

I counter this sort of moaning by bellowing ‘I am not the milk monitor! I don’t write the shopping list with my VAGINA!’

LockdownQ · 01/08/2020 20:11

How was he suppose to know" he asks...

So turn it back on him and ask how you were supposed to know? See want answer he has

Kreacheriscleaning · 01/08/2020 20:12

@autumnboys

I counter this sort of moaning by bellowing ‘I am not the milk monitor! I don’t write the shopping list with my VAGINA!’
I used to do similar, not as ridiculous as being the milk keeper but asking daft questions. “Oh sorry, I forgot to consult the oracle” (as I bend double to stare at my vulva.