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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm not the keeper of milk

146 replies

TellingTelephone · 01/08/2020 19:40

There is a story behind this but it is dull and so I'll keep it to the bare minimum.

DP has essentially told me it is my fault he didn't get any milk when he popped into the local one stop for "supplies". He claims he didn't know we needed milk even though he has been making cups of tea today. "How was he suppose to know" he asks... because he has eyes and a brain too, surely?

It's not a massive deal but him telling me it's my fault due to my poor communication skills has filled me with silent rage.

OP posts:
Mum2jenny · 01/08/2020 21:14

Can’t remember the name of the poster that couldn’t believe that not having milk as a student was surprising. But I’m sure this person will not believe that I work with ppl who don’t care about milk either and we can all survive without it. We drink tea and coffee black ie without milk!!

Original poster
TellingTelephone · 01/08/2020 21:14

Aha! I have an answer for the tomatoes. No matter how I prepare them mine taste like crap. I can buy the orgasmic vine ripened Marks and Spencer voice over tomatoes yet how he prepares Asda smart price salad tomatoes will always taste better (accompanied with various reasons as to why) and so my Tomato Badge has been withdrawn. I have washed my hands of tomatoes.

OP posts:
Biscusting · 01/08/2020 21:17

DH and I both food shop, usually involves a quick shout out of “I’m going for milk, need anything else?”

How is this difficult for some men? I blame their mothers, I bet they’ve been indulged as children.

WaxOnFeckOff · 01/08/2020 21:21

Well you can survive without lots of things but that doesn't mean you have to. I don't drink milk or eat cereal but sometimes i might want a splash for an omelette or scrambled eggs, I might want to make yorkshire puddings or a white or cheese sauce and I'd like there to be some there when I want it. We keep a carton or two of UHT which is fine for drinking or cereal but doesn't cook well.

queenofknives · 01/08/2020 21:21

LTB

Original poster
TellingTelephone · 01/08/2020 21:21

@Mum2jenny I get what you're saying but the issue isn't about milk. We can all survive without milk. It isn't a huge deal. Being blamed for my lack of communication skills on the matter is an issue.

Also I was never a student but I worked my arse off to buy my own property in my 20s, I worked two jobs, I had no money and no time and ate some hideous meals to make do as I couldn't waste the food. I know how to live without milk even without a university degree.

OP posts:
Shizzlestix · 01/08/2020 21:22

I was the Keeper of the clean socks. My DH woke me up one morning to inform me he’d run out of clean socks. I fear my reply was somewhat terse. He claims, having chosen the washing machine because of its simplicity, he was unable to decipher the ‘hieroglyphics” (40 degrees, cold wash, 30 degrees etc). I have since disabused him of his theory.

To be fair, my dh does a lot of the shopping and most of the cooking, as well as lots of other stuff and he has never asked me for clean socks again!

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 01/08/2020 21:27

My teen thinks I’m the keeper of her wardrobe and all her clutter.

‘Where’ve you put my school trousers?’
Where’ve you washed my pyjamas. I couldn’t find them and then couldn’t sleep as l need them to sleep in. It’s your fault I’m tired’

I just ignore as best l can....🙈🙉

Mum2jenny · 01/08/2020 21:27

Milk issue aside, I think if ppl you are living with do not understand which foods are really essential to you, it just seems will not happen. Unfair but realistic in the real world!

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 01/08/2020 21:29

Yeah, and Shizzlestix, my dh tried a similar thing about washcare labels. I stuck a huge picture on the wall with them on, and there meanings. He stopped after that.

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 01/08/2020 21:29

Their meanings

BatShite · 01/08/2020 21:31

YANBU, I hate this so much. It seems to be the same with everything, and from DH.. aswell as the kids (one of whom is 15 so well old enough to go to the shop and buy bloody milk)

We have a kind of change pot, with cash in to replace milk, bread, etc when its ran out. But oddly, noone ever seems to get any, and instead whinges at me if I don't specifically tell them somethings needed, EVEN if they used the last of whatever and I didn't even know. DSD last week was whinging as I didn't remind her to get bread at the shop, despite it being her who had managed to go through half a loaf in a day..her who used the last slice, infact her who had been the only one to touch the bread in 3 days! I was so mean and horrible for making her go back to the shop only to get the bread too.. Grin

God knows how I was meant to know it was needed in that scenario really?! Weird, and annoying.

cmt1375 · 01/08/2020 21:36

The rule in our house is if you can use a games consul or PC you can operate any domestic appliances. It seems to have worked...

Original poster
TellingTelephone · 01/08/2020 21:36

@Mum2jenny my uneducated brain doesn't understand your post. Milk isn't essential to me but it is to him. Him blaming me is unfair but realistic?

OP posts:
Wearywithteens · 01/08/2020 21:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Mum2jenny · 01/08/2020 21:42

If you love/ like your partner you wip

SlightlyJaded · 01/08/2020 21:42

If you really enjoy passive aggressive, then this little gift - a mere £2.99 from Amazon - is just the ticket.

I would silently pin it to his lapel and smile like a proud mother.

To think I'm not the keeper of milk
Original poster
TellingTelephone · 01/08/2020 21:47

I still don't understand... wip = work in progress? 🤷

Milk Monitor badge will shortly be added to the Amazon basket.

OP posts:
Bargebill19 · 01/08/2020 21:49

Work In Partnership?

Mum2jenny · 01/08/2020 21:51

If u want milk u buy milk. Simple.

weegiemum · 01/08/2020 21:52

I am not making the meal plan with my vagina tomorrow. Others can contribute with whichever organ they choose to use.

Original poster
TellingTelephone · 01/08/2020 21:58

@Mum2jenny yeah ok 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
MrsAvocet · 01/08/2020 22:00

I can empathise. My DH puts the dishwasher on at night yet never mentions that we are getting low on tablets. He is also the only one who eats muesli (well, I might have it once a month or so) but will look at me rather pathetically holding the empty bag on occasion saying "did you get more muesli"? I don't care about the muesli - if he can't be bothered to tell me that he needs it when I am going shopping he can do without for a week - but the dishwasher tablet thing really pisses me off.

BaronessBomburst · 01/08/2020 22:14

I'm currently training DS. I know that he's about to run out of cereal but until he asks me to buy more, I'm not going to.
He's 10 and seems to be learning.... Grin

Featherstep · 01/08/2020 22:15

I despair at the number of women on here with exactly the same issue.
I see there are a fair few of us who belong to the non-milk drinking milk monitor club.
I just made it DH's responsibility. Now he will occasionally find there are just 2 inches of milk left of an evening and it is his problem. I do not volunteer to go get it.

OP if you online shop, the other thing we've done that's helpful is that when the items that DH normally uses almost run out, he needs to log in and add those items to the list. So for example bin bags, flour, coffee, dishwasher tablets. Grocery shopping is still about 85/15% balance here, but at least I am not keeping track of everything 100% which I'd really resent.