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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be majorly pissed off at new lockdown rules?

544 replies

mediciempire · 31/07/2020 20:20

Teen DD has been looking forward to Eid for weeks. She has desperately been waiting to see the rest of her family and now we've been absolutely screwed over. She cried for most of the morning on and off and I'm just so annoyed that she's entering this state of absolute desolation again because she wasn't given a chance to prepare for Eid not being on. She was okay the last time if not very bored because she knew what was happening but this time she's just absolutely gutted. AIBU to be so angry? I just feel like it's ruined our day and I've wasted a whole load of money that I won't get back on food.

OP posts:
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9
CraftyGin · 31/07/2020 21:46

@cologne4711

But I thought we were still in only two households mixing or 6 people at most from different households

Well quite.

I'm not sure how going to pubs, restaurants and shops with dozens of other households are more safe than having a socially distanced garden party

Me neither, but that's not what the government was worried about, it was worried about large family parties INSIDE.

I think the rationale about pubs is that you are socially distanced from other patrons. If you meet with family in a pub, you are not.

Also meeting in public is on view, unlike the privacy of your back garden.

crazychemist · 31/07/2020 21:47

@bigmamama (and several others) please don’t make this is racial thing. Firstly, it’s quite possible that families won’t be able to gather for Christmas. Secondly (and mainly) Easter and Holy Week effectively WERE cancelled, which are the biggest celebrations of the Christian calendar. We couldn’t have socially distanced church services of any kind. Of course it’s really sad that families won’t be able to gather for Eid, in exactly the same way that it was sad that families couldn’t gather for Easter. This doesn’t need to be a divisive issue, we can all empathise on this issue.

PotholeParadise · 31/07/2020 21:47

@cologne4711

we certainly hadn't got the house full of food for two households worth (including teenagers

If the OP has genuinely only enough food for two households she wouldn't be complaining - you can get through that yourself within a week. Clearly a much bigger affair was planned which was exactly what the government wanted to prevent (and would have been against the rules anyway).

There is absolutely no clearly about it. Your conclusion is as opaque in derivation as a block of wood.

I would be very upset if I had a feast for two household's prepared and I had to get it eaten over the course of a week. The time, the effort, the worry over whether it would go off, the frustration of eating reminders of an event that didn't happen...

Bollss · 31/07/2020 21:47

@neveradullmoment99

it may well happen at Christmas time but then you just celebrate in your own family group. Its necessary to stop the virus.
Yeah nothing except a vaccine is going to stop this virus.
Bollss · 31/07/2020 21:49

Everyone saying that op is lying about food because there wouldn't be so much has clearly never celebrated Eid. Im not s Muslim and therefore dont celebrate Eid but our lovely neighbours do and I have seen what they cook and they always send us and half the street food over. I think that's pretty typical to be honest.

mosscarpet · 31/07/2020 21:49

and to those claiming Easter is more comparable than Christmas - really?? As stated I am a Christian, Catholic actually. So I get the importance of Easter. But surely there is a lot more preparation that goes into Christmas for most - more food, more expense, more planning, more arranging to see family etc... You dont see many threads on MN agonising over which set of parents to spend Easter with do you for example . ....

Scout2016 · 31/07/2020 21:50

My DD went into nursery today where she will have been in contact with maybe 15 people from other households, kids and adults. But we can't visit one other person. The lack of logic and consistency makes it feel worse for me.

cyclingmad · 31/07/2020 21:51

End of the day you need to bear some responsibility for not managing expectations. The news has been talking about cases rising up north for weeks. We've started hearing if a little bit that they are starting to get concerned about us here in the south so yeah I'm hoping if dossnf happen but I'm not gonna be pissed off if if does.

The fact people are reporting multiple families still meeting up so even if restriction was put in place they are still breaking the rules...shame on them cos people like them spoling it for everyone.

netflixismysidehustle · 31/07/2020 21:51

Eid Mubarak OP ThanksThanks

I'm sorry that you've had some horrible replies. It's a shame that these people couldn't show empathy rather than try and compete with your disappointment.

The announcement should have been made earlier and not on Twitter at 10:30 Angry

mosscarpet · 31/07/2020 21:52

@TrustTheGeneGenie

Everyone saying that op is lying about food because there wouldn't be so much has clearly never celebrated Eid. Im not s Muslim and therefore dont celebrate Eid but our lovely neighbours do and I have seen what they cook and they always send us and half the street food over. I think that's pretty typical to be honest.
I agree. It would be like someone coming on saying they had bought 2 different starters, and a choice of 3 deserts for their guests for Christmas dinner...heaven forbid... oh wait, that would be seen as totally normal!!
okiedokieme · 31/07/2020 21:52

It's short notice of the change but nobody should have arranged to see more than 2 households inside anyway. The blatant disregard for social distancing was one cause of the Leicester outbreak, extended family visiting was huge problem.

KatieB55 · 31/07/2020 21:52

Even so parties are not allowed - transmission in the home is the biggest risk. Shops, pubs & restaurants have social distancing & hygiene measures in place. Social distancing is much less likely to happen in a family home with close relatives. Sorry. Also it was said that any spike in infections would lead to reversal of lockdown easing - though I agree it was short notice.

Bollss · 31/07/2020 21:52

The news has been talking about cases rising up north for weeks

Up north is a huge place you know.

For example in calderdale the increase has been tiny in real numbers. Our own director of health or whatever job title it is said we wouldn't go into local lockdown so make of that what you will.

Eeeeeeeok · 31/07/2020 21:53

I do really feel for all of the people celebrating Eid. It is like this being introduced in Christmas eve. The way they and it was a mess too. But I do actually also think that we need this local lockdown. I think overall things opened up too early and people aren't being careful enough. Probs because of rubbish gov messaging. So yes it is crap but needed.

CraftyGin · 31/07/2020 21:54

@mosscarpet

and to those claiming Easter is more comparable than Christmas - really?? As stated I am a Christian, Catholic actually. So I get the importance of Easter. But surely there is a lot more preparation that goes into Christmas for most - more food, more expense, more planning, more arranging to see family etc... You dont see many threads on MN agonising over which set of parents to spend Easter with do you for example . ....
So it’s down to money?

Tell that to someone who has been ‘let go’ after furlough.

And I’m the one who lacks empathy?

cyclingmad · 31/07/2020 21:55

Oh and to add instead of being pisssd off you could of turned it around and had zoom parties to celebrate instead 🙄 and then when it eases had a second one face to face.

We're all going to have to start pivoting our mindset more quickly due to rapidly changing circumstances and make best our of situations or u can just carry on being negative and wallow

Eeeeeeeok · 31/07/2020 21:55

*Announced

Bollss · 31/07/2020 21:55

@cyclingmad

Oh and to add instead of being pisssd off you could of turned it around and had zoom parties to celebrate instead 🙄 and then when it eases had a second one face to face.

We're all going to have to start pivoting our mindset more quickly due to rapidly changing circumstances and make best our of situations or u can just carry on being negative and wallow

Zoom Christmas anyone? Yeah thought not.
Twofurrycatsagain · 31/07/2020 21:55

The government (hopefully) know when Eid is and had the figures for cases in the North West. Blackburn and Pendle have been on the radar for a while. So why wait until now to have a rule change?
The cynic in me thinks they wanted money spent.
I'm in an area that's covered by the new rules. Our rate is low at 4.2 so I'm mildly irritated that we have been added in.

MaxNormal · 31/07/2020 21:56

If the OP has genuinely only enough food for two households she wouldn't be complaining - you can get through that yourself within a week. Clearly a much bigger affair was planned

So you're accusing OP of lying? If she was that blasè about the rules she wouldn't have cancelled their celebration and upset her daughter, would she?
God why is everybody fucking foul all the time?

Original poster
mediciempire · 31/07/2020 21:56

Oh well, I've had my rant and received some lovely replies and some incredibly unsympathetic ones. I'm going to continue feeling sorry for my child and her already fragile mental health and continue being pissed off at the inconsistencies shown in the new rules. There has been nothing said here that has told me I'm definitely wrong to be pissed off. Thanks for all the Eid Mubaraks, they've been an absolute pleasure to read. Flowers

OP posts:
bigmamama · 31/07/2020 21:56

@crazychemist
One of the points is that Easter was cancelled with notice. And I'm not making it a racial argument, half of my family are Christian and I normally spend Easter weekend with them.
It's just sad that a lot of people can't see the OPs frustration of planning today and having it snatched away at a moments notice.

fflelp · 31/07/2020 21:57

I absolutely understand where you are coming from.
The whole thing was badly handled. I know the government needs to tackle the rising numbers of cases. They obviously thought Eid was going to be a problem in terms of increased transmission, with lots of people gathering to celebrate indoors. But the cases have been rising in those areas for a couple of weeks so this should have been tackled earlier, meaning that people had more notice that celebrations would have to be different this year.
It was far too short notice when people have been looking forward to this and preparing food etc.
I am a Christian and I was very upset about Easter being "cancelled" as no church services were permitted. But at least we had time to accept this and no one was preparing big meals and all the rest of it.

candycane222 · 31/07/2020 21:58

Totally get why you are gutted OP, this qaa disgracefully badly managed. It's not as if the date of Eid was a secret, and the rates in the NW generally have been concerning for weeks. If only anyone in the government was able to think like a person, and not just string slogans together.. It's just incredibly poor and as for announcing it via a tweet - words fail.

Please ignore the posters who can't see that its the short notice that makes it so particularly upsetting for everyone. I absolutely get it, particularly that you can't even meet up in a garden. Even my super-careful shielding mother does that, it seems really ott to ban outdoor meetups. There are so many other ways they could have got on top of this sooner, too - for example, in my opinion, letting local public health teams lead on test and trace, to identify localised clusters in workplaces or whatever and jump on them quickly.

Please give your daughter some love from me, it's so hard on the young people. So unfair.

Wishing you and your family Eid Mubarak.

Sunshine124 · 31/07/2020 21:59

@mediciempire Thank you, unfortunately as I return to work soon and husband only has these two weeks off until Christmas it is going to be difficult but we are looking into possible solutions.
Please don’t feel that you are unreasonable. I think you are getting a lot of flack from people unfairly. I’m angry at the situation, I understand the need for lockdown and know our lives are going to be disrupted for the foreseeable future but it doesn’t mean that I can’t be frustrated with situation, voice my annoyance at it and also angry about the way it was announced (On Twitter! There are far more appropriate ways for something like this to be announced.) I hope you and your daughter had a nice day even if it wasn’t what you hoped and that you can be with your family soon.