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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be majorly pissed off at new lockdown rules?

544 replies

mediciempire · 31/07/2020 20:20

Teen DD has been looking forward to Eid for weeks. She has desperately been waiting to see the rest of her family and now we've been absolutely screwed over. She cried for most of the morning on and off and I'm just so annoyed that she's entering this state of absolute desolation again because she wasn't given a chance to prepare for Eid not being on. She was okay the last time if not very bored because she knew what was happening but this time she's just absolutely gutted. AIBU to be so angry? I just feel like it's ruined our day and I've wasted a whole load of money that I won't get back on food.

OP posts:
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Original poster
mediciempire · 31/07/2020 20:47

@CraftyGin again with the deliberate obtuseness. Your child knew she would be missing her 18th. So did mine which is why he sucked it up. This was presented as if it would go ahead.

@winterisstillcoming oh god the outfits! DD is very petite so it took us a while to find anything too.

OP posts:
Ilovegreentomatoes · 31/07/2020 20:48

Well we have all missed something this year.There is a virus out there it hasn't disappeared and boris did warn this would happen if numbers increased again.Its shit that it's short notice but this was on the cards imo.

Pelleas · 31/07/2020 20:48

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Firstly Eid Murebek

Secondly what new rules ?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/explainers-52530518
ChardonnaysPetDragon · 31/07/2020 20:48

Sorry. not sure what you are implying. It's nothing to do with drink, not everybody gets drunk whenever we have family gatherings, you know. Certainly the cousins don't drink, they are about 10 and cousins of my children.

I find your remark quite uncalled for.

CraftyGin · 31/07/2020 20:49

Let me try to understand the main issue:

  1. that the tightening of the lockdown was not announced several days ago

  2. that the lockdown coincided with Eid?

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 31/07/2020 20:49

Oh, and the dogs don't drink either.

Longwhiskers14 · 31/07/2020 20:49

@CraftyGin

My 18 year old missed her birthday in April. She had no choice but to suck it up.

It’s awful, but we have to invoke some kind of wartime spirit and carry on.

Was her celebration cancelled at 90 minutes' notice?
tabulahrasa · 31/07/2020 20:49

“We were all gutted at missing Holy Week and Easter.”

We had weeks of notice about Easter, it’s nowhere near the same at all!!!

Of course it’s worse for you to be told you can’t see your family for Eid with literally hours of notice.

thegcatsmother · 31/07/2020 20:49

My Mum was devastated that she couldn't go to church and take communion on Easter Sunday. It is the first time since she was confirmed as a teenager that she has missed this, and she is 80 next week.

Easter is the most important festival of the Christian year; not Christmas.

It is hard for people of all faiths and none; but better a lock down than more deaths surely?

Original poster
mediciempire · 31/07/2020 20:49

@JayAlfredPrufrock it hasn't just been big gatherings cancelled though it has been small socially distanced ones too.

@Thisisworsethananticpated we are no longer allowed to visit another household's house or garden in certain areas of the north west.

OP posts:
Onceuponatimethen · 31/07/2020 20:50

Eid Mubarak OP and to your dd and while family.

I’m so sorry - thinking timing and communication on this are awful.

I totally get why your dd is so devastated. In case (not Eid related) my sil who isn’t Muslim is in the same area as you and hasn’t slept properly and can’t stop crying today because she was going to be staying with her parents and they were going to be able to cuddle her newborn baby boy for the first time. Now all the tickets they booked to go to places together will go to waste as she can’t go and stay. I am really concerned about her and I think it’s worse because it’s been such a shock.

So sorry your dd is so upset. Can you do something special in a public place instead. Eg at a park?

Flowers
Onceuponatimethen · 31/07/2020 20:51

Whole family not while family (sorry)

Purpleartichoke · 31/07/2020 20:51

It is hard.

My dd looked forward to something for 3 years. A very specific celebration on a particular birthday. It was cancelled just before we were to travel. We can take the trip someday, but it won’t be the same.

Our youngest have really been hit the hardest by all of this. I wouldn’t be angry at the lockdown rules, be angry at the virus.

Then find something special you can do.

Onceuponatimethen · 31/07/2020 20:52

Sorrry I accidentally deleted part of my post

I meant - I totally get why your dd is so devastated. In case it helps (not Eid related) Sil is very upset

Basically I think your dd has every right to be very very upset Sad

PablosHoney · 31/07/2020 20:53

Not fair to compare to Easter, I’m a Christian and it was hard but we were well into Lockdown, this has been a nasty shock for people expecting to celebrate Eid and I feel for them.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 31/07/2020 20:53

You can still meet in your bubble.

I can’t believe I’ve just typed that.

gobbynorthernbird · 31/07/2020 20:54

@CraftyGin

Let me try to understand the main issue:

  1. that the tightening of the lockdown was not announced several days ago

  2. that the lockdown coincided with Eid?

Yes. But those 2 points are not mutually exclusive.
RubyWow · 31/07/2020 20:54

The short notice and communication is crap. I was upset to miss our Easter events this year but had a couple of weeks notice about that, I can imagine how disappointed your DD is to have this sprung on her like that.

Original poster
mediciempire · 31/07/2020 20:55

@ChardonnaysPetDragon it's not really uncalled for to point out that we've never had a garden party that has ended up with people in the house and the only one's I've been to that have have had alcohol present. I'm sorry if you felt offended but it wasn't my original intention.

OP posts:
randomer · 31/07/2020 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CraftyGin · 31/07/2020 20:56

My DD understood that her lack of birthday celebration was for the greater good of the community.

Everthing that happens to her for the next several months are no guarantee and she gets that, and does not pin all her hopes on something she can’t control - A level results, start of university...

She has always been aware that the lockdown will loosen and tighten until a vaccine is found.

TheNewLook · 31/07/2020 20:57

I'm not sure how going to pubs, restaurants and shops with dozens of other households are more safe than having a socially distanced garden party?

I can see how these things are different. In a pub people are sitting at separate tables with their own group, not mingling with others. The tables are set apart and there’s no gathering at the bar.

Socially distanced garden parties tend to get less socially distanced as the party goes on when everyone there knows each other.

RubyWow · 31/07/2020 20:57

randomer

For many practicing Christians, Christmas is absolutely a spiritual and family time.

Original poster
mediciempire · 31/07/2020 20:58

@Onceuponatimethen really really hope she gets to show off her new baby soon. it's the sudden nature of it that makes it so awful I think.

@JayAlfredPrufrock we haven't got a bubble though as neither households are single adult ones.

OP posts:
thegcatsmother · 31/07/2020 20:59

Christmas is a hideous binge and pissup followed by a spike in suicides and DV and separation.

It might be for you, but for many of us it is a spiritual experience followed by family time; same as Easter.