New neighbour wanting free work done

[Nothankyou0]

We’ve just had a new lady move in two doors down from us. There are 3 different tradesmen living on this stretch of road one being my husband. I’ve noticed that since this lady has moved in, she is really taking the piss. For example, before she met my husband I noticed that the other two tradesmen were very regularly helping her with her house (she has gutted it all and is doing it up). We’re friends with them and know that she isn’t paying them. They’ll do things like give her lifts to b&q and back helping her bring materials into her house, concerting her garden and other things inside the house. Then she met my husband and ever since she’s been texting every day asking advice, she has had him round there every night for the last 4 days two hours at a time helping her fit cables in her house. She isn’t paying him for this. She’s now hinting at him fitting her new kitchen (obviously she is paying for all of the supplies etc) My husband says he doesn’t mind but to be honest I’m getting pissed off as he’s missed dinner with me and the children while he’s there and also the fact that she barely knows him and is getting free work done. I think this woman is obviously trying her luck to see how much free work she can get done between the three men. I want to say that I don’t want my husband going there anymore unless she is paying him his normal rate (or even mates rates as after all she is our neighbour and we’re happy to help when we can but without taking the piss!) what would you say?

There's a similar thread running which I'm sure I only read yesterday but I can't properly remember what happened. Think OP went to job as well to make sure her DH would only do what was absolutely necessary, not agree to anything else, and laid it on thick that if that's what it took to spend time with her DH so be it. The DH managed to see the light, extricate himself and took the OP out for dinner.

Call his bluff.
Go round.

“Hi neighbour - can I have a nosey? Oooooh, I do like a nice house project - good luck with this, it’s going to look fab. You must come over for dinner one night when you’re kitchen is out. Anyway, I popped in to let you know that John won’t be able to keep popping over in the evening to help out, or take you to B&Q. He’ll do anything for anyone, but I haven’t seen him this week and he’s got kids to sort.”

Yes, he’ll look a dick.
But right now - he already looks a dick to your neighbour. She knows damn well she’s taking the piss out of him, and he’s a dick for doing it.

Ask your DH if he's misplaced his balls. Would he work for free for a strange man? I doubt it.

She's a cheeky fucker and needs to start paying for her renovations, but she won't. Your husband will just keep doing it for her.

@kingdomcapers yes I read that thread too but didn’t get to the end I’ll go and have a browse now! I’m glad her husband came back from the dark side 😂

How would he feel if you dropped the kids on him and poppednto the nice man down the road to "help him out" every night

Not good either of them.

He is avoiding his child and husband responsibilities, while getting his ego boosted by this new woman.

Send the kids round with him. Every. Single. Time

I can't stand women that use their "wiles" the get free stuff, it gives proper women a bad name, where are her scruples?

Are you for real?

Three grown men, supposedly running businesses, none of whom simply say "no" or "i'll give you a proper quote for the work", and its the woman's fault.

But yes nauticant I heard that play as well

[quote Nothankyou0]@kingdomcapers yes I read that thread too but didn’t get to the end I’ll go and have a browse now! I’m glad her husband came back from the dark side 😂[/quote]
“Nothing would give me greater pleasure than going round and telling that cheeky bint to stop taking the piss out of you, but if I do it 1) she won’t believe you’ve rumbled what she’s up to, and 2) you’re going to look like you’re under the thumb. It’s not my problem you haven’t got the balls to say no to someone who is clearly taking advantage of you. What is my problem is having a husband who’s willing to leave me dealing with OUR kids night after night on my own while he prioritises some random women down the road who we don’t know from Adam who is taking him for a ride to boot by not even paying him!”

Sorry, wrong quote. I was trying to get your post where he wants you to go and tell her he’s not going round.

He’s said I have to go and tell her I won’t let him go

Is he 5?
Just ridiculous.

The thing about the jobs he's doing is that if she had to employ a handyman she'd pay a set rate for the first hour and then a slightly lower for every subsequent hour. She's saving herself a fortune.

If he's agreed to go round this evening then he should go and let her know he won't be doing anymore unpaid work for her as he needs to prioritise his family, including his newborn.

'Sorry our baby is unwell at the moment, crossed wires but out of hours is difficult for us.'

The end.

I'd be quite happy to lose my shit at this one.

He can tell her - he looks much sillier if you do it for him! 'Sorry, something's come up' - really not a problem. Unless he makes it one...

I also think good for her, she’s getting free work done. I’d shake her hand.

As for the men, either they are being nice and helping out or they are doing it for the egoboost or hope of sex.

I’ve had some help from a male neighbour, but I texted his wife and asked. I was a bit stuck at the time, and I’d also help put any neighbour who asked, doesn’t mean we all fancy each other and want to get at it.

As said, for me, I’d let my husband crack on because I trust him. He’s a grown up and can make his own decisions.

Quite surprised at how many people intrinsically don’t trust their partners and think they will go with any woman they can, if she smiles at them. It’s very sad to have to possessively wish to control someone like this.

It is not that the OP doesnt trust him - more that he should be spending time WITH HIS FAMILY!!! It's not rocket science is it?

If she was a harpy who dragged him home in any situation then he wouldnt have been allowed gone round there in the first place would he

HE is getting out of helping OP with the kids and getting his ego stoked , CFNeighbour is getting things for free. They are both winning. The only ones are aren't are OP and the kids!!

Apart from the half price thing CFN is so graciously giving - not even free you still have to pay £15

Instead of treating your DH like a child and tell him what you allow him to do or not, you could make it more attractive for him to stay at home, usually works a lot better.

The bitter jealous wifey is not an attractive look for anyone, and this thread is awful!

@SantaClaritaDiet are you a time traveller?
Wrong decade love.

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble
must be, because this thread bring us back decades ago, it's actually shocking to see the ridiculous stereotypes in here.

It's MN, so I am still hoping it's a wind-up!

SantaClaritaDiet you could make it more attractive for him to stay at home

Oh yes op needs to look her best, cook his favorite meals, take the hassle with a small baby and be up for all the sex he wants in the evening, to be attractive for him to stay at home. - Not

giantangryrooster

Have you even read the thread? My comment was in its context... because I would cringe to know anyone thinking like the majority of the posters.

@SantaClaritaDiet

Er what else does the guy need? He has his wife, his children, his home, his belongings. How much more attractive can that be?

KeepingPlain
the bitterness and insults and controlling attitude from some posters must be a delight in real life.

It's not about a neighbour taking the piss and asking for too much (fair enough, but male/female/young/old wouldn't matter)
it's about a group of ridiculous posters going at great length to ridicule themselves - Single female? Is she pretty? How dare she! one even compared the neighbour to a prostitute..

So the vision of a wife coming to the neighbour's door, hair in roller ,with an apron and a rolling pin in her hand, to drag her husband out did make me laugh, sorry

It sounds like your DH is more worried about his ego and the neighbours view of him than about how you feel.

You need to be very honest with him. Tell him it's making you feel very stressed and uncomfortable and that he needs to decide what is more important.

Do you actually need the memberships or the discount? I'm guessing this is just a bonus for him. It's his ego that's making him go back.

If it was my DH and he decided it was the neighbour that's more important then I'd ask him to leave and mean it. It might sound like an overreaction but he's basically choosing to spend time there over being at home. He's opting out of being a father and husband and that's not ok.

SantaClaritaDiet I agree with every comment you've made on this thread.

I'm shocked at how controlling some(many) of th PPs are

He is avoiding his child and husband responsibilities, while getting his ego boosted by this new woman

Yes that would be my bet rather than some kind of 1980s "confessions of a window cleaner" type scenario.

An excuse to get out of wranging kids bedtime/clearing up accompanied by an ego boost!