This is one of those things that has become really important (almost like a hill to die on), but very aware you may all pile on and say it's just petty and we need to get on with it. So looking for honest views please.
When lockdown started easing a bit, we started talking (on DH's side of the family) about planning a get-together as the children/cousins hadn't seen each other in so long. Usually we see each other a fair bit as we all live reasonably locally. This would be MIL, her two sons (DH and BIL), me and SIL, and five children (mixture of ages under 6). We all get along well.
We all said it would be a good idea and a local park seemed to be bandied around as the destination, probably with a picnic. All fine. No one really made any effort to sort a date though. Over the next few weeks I mentioned to DH every now and then that maybe he should organise something (he had to talk to his brother about something unrelated, so seemed like it would be efficient). DH agreed and never did anything.
Fast forward a few weeks and me and SIL are talking about things over text and she mentions that we're trying to sort this meet-up. After thinking about my reply for a minute or so, I respond that yes and I'm very keen, but that I don't really want to organise it myself as I do literally everything else. I hold my breath a bit, thinking she might be hurt, offended, or pissed off, but then she replies saying exactly the same. We agree to leave it to DH and BIL to try and send a basic text to each other. All fine and me and SIL feel nicely bonded a bit.
To the crux of the story, sorry, MIL now really wants to arrange this (understandably). There's a family chat group and me and SIL mentioned that it's being sorted out by the two men. MiL is pleased and very happy. But nothing is happening. They're not bothering. And now MIL has asked me and SIL if we can just share dates and do it ourselves.
What do you think?
YABU - it's a tiny bit of admin and will make MIL happy, plus the kids get to hang out and they're the real ones missing out here.
YANBU - why on Earth can't the men text each other if it's such a small deal, and women are always left to sort things like this.
Background - me and SIL do everything. My nieces and nephews only gets birthday and Christmas presents because I sort it, and vice versa. I do SiL's birthday because DH wouldn't bother (actually, what would happen is MIL would mention it and he'd say he hadn't sorted anything so she'd give SIL money and say it's from all of us and DH would be fine with that; I don't want this, so I sort something), and I know she does mine. I don't mind this, but I refuse to do BIL because it's DH's own brother. So BIL rarely gets a birthday card or present.