Shower etiquette

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

Just interested in whether, generally speaking, the people in your household clean up after themselves when they've used the shower?

We have two bathrooms - en-suite, and family bathroom used by my daughter (17) and two stepsons (13 & 19) when they are here. 19 yo is home from Uni at the minute and it's a constant source of frustration to me that whenever he has a shower he leaves soap, hair (very long) and bodily hair all over the bath for whoever goes in next to find it. He's been told multiple times to rinse the bath down when he's finished. It goes in one ear and out the other.

AIBU to expect him to just clean his sodding pubes off the bath when he's been in there? If it was only him and his brother sharing I would leave them to it but my poor daughter having to walk in and find that

They’d be getting scraped up and put in his bed the scruffy twat! Eugh the shit situation is grim too! Tell your DH to give him a talking to or send him to his mothers house, let her clean up after him!

Tell him if he doesn't clean up after himself, you will get a cleaner to do it and charge it to him.

Robot vac what is this sorcery ? ✨

I can’t say anything to him though as he thinks its my job to tidy up after him and that he shouldnt have to do anything.

Why can't you? He "thinks" it's your job? Lock away the clean towels for starters, and if he dumps wet towels on anything, dump them back in his room and close the door.

His dad needs to talk to him. There is absolutely no need to run around after this twat. DSS or not.

YANBU.

Talk to him again and embaress him if you have to.

Enough is enough.

Hilarious! No they don't clean the shower after using it, the one with the vagina does! That'd be me 🙄

Assuming you cook for him occasionally (I hope not all the time), just serve him the miN course with an accompaniment of your collection of bath pubes.

I had this problem with step sons too. I constantly had to ask them to clean up after themselves-bathroom, washing up, washing, cups and plates hoarded in rooms etc. I'd get their dad to have a word, but he was a slob himself so said it with an eye roll. We're no longer together and my own much younger children have been taught how to clean up after themselves.

Not sure why I'm in the wrong for not liking him. I didn't give birth to him, and he's hardly endearing himself to me!

If you have a removable plug give it to your daughter every one else won't be able to use the Bath.

My 13 year old rinses the shower he sounds ferral.

I feel your pain too...Does his mother pick up & clean after him? Assume that if she was a doormat who did then he hasn’t been taught any life skills... It may sound harsh but you can’t automatically like someone just because you love their father. Biology is strong & without it, can be hard to love them - or even like them very much unfortunately.

@NannyOggsWhiskyStash

I get that he is a slob, but I am shocked that you stated that you didn't like the lad, he's your step-son. Maybe he doesn't bother his arse because he knows full well that you dislike him.

Bingo.

There's a nasty undertone throughout this thread. Seems as though OP is getting off on the fact that everybody thinks her stepson is 'disgusting'.

I'd treat my stepson as if he were my own son. Each to their own I suppose.

I've decided to start dumping my kids mess that they continuously leave all over the house in their beds. Am sick to death of repeating myself daily over what is acceptable/unacceptable. I feel for you OP. Maybe dump the wet towels in the offenders bed

To be fair, you’re lucky he washes at all, in my experience

@chocolatesaltyballs22

Hang signs. Literally.

CLEAN SHOWER AFTER EVERY USE OF EVERY HAIR, ALL SOAP SCUM & GUNK. RINSE.

Hang them on the shower door and inside and outside of the the shower room door. Hang them on the inside and outside of his bedroom door and if he still can’t manage, have his father hang one around his neck,

@AmateurDad

Water leaves spots that stain, especially if it’s hard water.
Tons of people use squeegees on their glass paneled showers.

I just can’t get worked up about this. But then we are happy to stand in each other’s crud it would seem. Also. Another trick is to have a dark shower base so you don’t notice. Our shower tiles at the base are dark brown and a lighter brown on the wall. Once a month, DH and I take turns of fishing out the ginormous hair ball that has wrapped itself around the drain cover and developed underneath. It’s a vile job, removing drain cover, cutting hair wrapped around and fishing hairball out, but even that sounds preferable to racing in the bathroom after every person showers and cracking the shits if they have left a stray hair or whatnot. Funny thing, we have all survived all this time, no diseases or ill effect.

Also detest visitors. Being forced to do the clean-up and have spick and span sparkling shower outside the monthly cycle shits me and I would prefer people didn’t stay but alas .....

@beenneverseen I suspect his mum doesn't bother picking up after him as according to my husband she's happy to live in filth. So we're battling against zero house rules at her house.

Seems as though OP is getting off on the fact that everybody thinks her stepson is 'disgusting'.

We don't even have to actually like our own children though, if they're horrible. He sounds disgusting - the wet towel thing alone is just anti-social and vile. If you live in someone's house you follow their rules. That's a MN thing "my house my rules" and it gets trotted out on every stepmum thread. If he lived in my house - well, he wouldn't until he could follow the simple rules of cleaning up after yourself and hanging towels up.

[quote chocolatesaltyballs22]@beenneverseen I suspect his mum doesn't bother picking up after him as according to my husband she's happy to live in filth. So we're battling against zero house rules at her house.[/quote]
I feared that might be the case...it was one or the other.. Your house, your rules, especially if it means expecting him not to act like a gross pig! Totally agree with you that it is up to his dad to sort this out with him, he’s not a child & needs to grow up!

Funny how his mother ends up being blamed, when the dad hasn't bothered so far, until prompted.

To be fair he has bothered. He's told him til he's blue in the face what's expected in this house and it goes in one ear and out the other. This is why I'm so frustrated.

It's like every time he's away for a long period eg at Uni or last week he didn't come to us as he was working, he's just forgotten the whole conversation and we have to start all over again.

@mousey37

I absolutely feel your pain on this. I have two stepsons one 17 and one 20. The 17 year old tidies his stuff away and will also wash his dishes. The 20 year old does absolutely nothing. He has a shower and then throws his wet towel in the corner of his room and then gets a clean towel put the next day and does the same again. A week goes by and then he throws all the sopping, stinking towels in the washing basket on top of everyones good clothes. I actually find it replusive. His room absolutely stinks and he sleeps on a bare mattress which we’ve already replaced a year ago because it was rotten and stinking. Touching his things actually makes me shudder. Our house is lovely but his room is bacteria ridden and rotten. I can’t say anything to him though as he thinks its my job to tidy up after him and that he shouldnt have to do anything. I feel for you.

Where is his father in all this?

Do they live with you all the time?