Shower etiquette

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

Just interested in whether, generally speaking, the people in your household clean up after themselves when they've used the shower?

We have two bathrooms - en-suite, and family bathroom used by my daughter (17) and two stepsons (13 & 19) when they are here. 19 yo is home from Uni at the minute and it's a constant source of frustration to me that whenever he has a shower he leaves soap, hair (very long) and bodily hair all over the bath for whoever goes in next to find it. He's been told multiple times to rinse the bath down when he's finished. It goes in one ear and out the other.

AIBU to expect him to just clean his sodding pubes off the bath when he's been in there? If it was only him and his brother sharing I would leave them to it but my poor daughter having to walk in and find that

Yep you're right @flamedtoacrisp. I'm usually upstairs when he showers as I'm working from a bedroom which is next to the bathroom. Because I know he always makes a mess I sit here seething until I have to go check. Then I get my husband to make him clean it. Husband is downstairs working, completely oblivious. I've told him it's not acceptable to be told over and over again to do something. He has no regard whatsoever for anyone around him.

@gutentag1

I'd tell him to stop whatever he's doing, even if he's eating, and march him to the bathroom to deal with it immediately when I found it. The inconvenience would work quite quickly.

Yup. And, if he says you're being petty and why are you fussing, the answer is, "Well if it's such a minor thing, it'll be easy for you to do it then, won't it?"

Shouldn't be necessary for a 19 year old but, if he still won't, wifi password gets changed every morning and he doesn't get the new one till his share of the chores are done.

Would love to know who thinks I'm being unreasonable...and why..!

I always have to tell my DTeens to rinse the shower. They just forget. Every. Single. Time. I never do it for them but I never get angry either, just call out, 'come and clean the shower now.' It's frustrating but not worth a battle as it's a problem easily solved.

I was wondering that too @chocolatesaltyballs22 unless step son is on here ;)

I would be zero tolerance on this as I am with my own children. I woke 15 year old up this morning to come and remove plate from bathroom. God knows why he took a plate into the bathroom!

Everyone should leave lavatories and bathrooms in a hygienic state. I expect more than just rinsing a bath where several people use it; it should be cleaned properly after use. Showers with glass walls should be squeegeed to stop water marks.

I do, DH does, none of the DC do unless nagged. I'm not bothered that the 5 year old isn't, but my 14 and 11 year olds are just idle feckers and when I make them go back to the bathroom, pick up their discarded dirty clothes and wet towels, rinse the bath, put the shampoo bottles away etc, they act like I have sent them out to work in the mines or something.

Ugh! that is utterly repellant.
Etiquette is too clean shower, an squeegee down the glass and tiles, and empty the trap of hair..

I remember the misery of shared bathrooms in the distant past.. other people's hair is Boak.

I said to my husband I dread to think what his bathroom is like where he lives whilst at Uni. He must get into an ankle deep carpet of pubes every time.

@chocolatesaltyballs22
Thanks for spoiling my peanut butter on toast with that ''knee deep in pubes'' image
Bloody hell...He sounds a hairy so and so for sure

Put a sign on the back of the bathroom door so he sees it before he leaves.

Hahaha sorry about that!

Wait until he has a friend call him on the phone/come round and shout out, "DSS - please can you clean your pubes from the shower, ta" very loudly so he is embarrassed into it if he ignores polite requests.

ask him how he'd like it if there was a used tampax in there when he went to use it. This kind of thing drives me bloody crazy. Luckily the years of dragging the DCs back to clean hair from the shower when they were younger has paid off and they do it automatically now.

Giant signs have worked here at times..

YANBU, it doesn't take very long at all to give it a rinse (although ideally pick out the hairs unless you have a catcher in the plug!). Still, Ew.

I remember the utter misery of shared showers with dark hairs felting up the drain.. It had a manky shower curtain that was of mouldering plastic. A beastly bedsit in Weltje Rd in Hammersmith...The rent was half my wages.
Utter misery. I pass it sometimes en route to visit family and still shudder.

YANBU he's got no manners. That's disgusting and I'm in an all male household and it's not on to have teenage boys not clearing up the bathroom after use. They are perfectly capable.

YANBU. I can’t stand random hairs anywhere and equally can’t stand the idea of anyone seeing mine. I leave the bathroom as I expect to find it, especially as cleaning it is DH’s responsibility (mine is kitchen).

It's not my job to parent a fucking adult who I didn't even give birth to

I think this is part of being a blended family. But that aside why not suggest to your DH that he uses the family bathroom with the boys and you and your daughter share the en-suite? Not practical for a night time wee but for showers etc

Grim!

My rule, and therefore the rule for everybody in this house regarding the bathroom is that there should be no trace that you have been there when you leave! This applies to toilets, baths, showers, everything!

I take your point @ireallyamthewalrus but I never agreed to parent his kids. They have two people to do that already. Just like I don't expect my husband to parent my daughter.

Interesting idea re the en-suite, maybe as a last resort. My daughter takes ages in the bathroom and I'm not sure I want to share with her LOL!

I'm live and let live really. People have to get used to living with other people. So yes, I did used to leave the odd splatter of blood about, or people would leave skidmarks in the toilet.. it's just part of life. It all comes off when they get bleached later on.

DS1 (21 and hairy) cleans up, DS2 (11 and not yet hairy but will be a bear!) non issue, but still tidies up after himself. Me (49 and lots of hair) cleans up.

I will not have my kids leave home not realising bathrooms need to be cleaned. I go on and on and on until it's automatic.

I think every time get his Dad to say "its not ok to leave the shower like this" and for him to stand over him to show him what is needed, every time.
Hopefully he could point out that it is reasonable to expect he will need to do this wherever he lives in future, even living alone. That this is usual and better to get into the habit of it now.