David Beckham and mental health.....am I missing something?

[maudavery]

This is what DB in convo with Prince William has said about talking about one's feelings:

I made a mistake in '98 [getting sent off against Argentina in the 1998 World Cup] and the reaction at the time was pretty brutal.
"If social media was around when I was going through that time, it would have been a whole different story. But I was lucky, I had a support system within Manchester United, the manager, and obviously family.
"But did I feel it was okay at the time to go to someone and say I need help? No, because it was a different era, and I just felt that I had to keep it all in and deal with it myself.

So he cocked up, took flak for it and then "had to deal with it himself", although he acknowledges he had a lot of support. Is this so bad? Isn't this just taking responsibility? Isn't there a lot to be said for this kind of stoicism? Whereas now everything pathologised and we need therapy for everything.

I take his point about social media and agree it can be poisonous especially for younger people but I don't really think his point about having to deal with things himself is so terrible.

@DayB1Day, your 16 year old has had hatred printed about him across all sections of media, including glibal newspapers? Your family has, been targeted and property damaged? You can't travel anywhere in the world and not be recognised and photographed and it start again?

There's always been mental health issues. There was a lot of alcoholism around when I was a child in the 70's and of course drugs like valium. There was also a lot of women that didn't leave the house, but this was just called being a home body, or family oriented etc. Women didn't tend to go places on their own. Once you were married you could legitimately become invisible and check out of life outside the home. You didn't have to be all things to all people.

I get what you are saying OP, resilience is important, but the male suicide rates have always been consistent, globally, which tells us a lot. Your comments about him living through it, so he doesn't get a say are disgusting.

Ahhhh let’s focus on David Beckham throwing a paddy on a football field and getting slated in the press whilst sitting on a beach and getting the best treatment money could buy

Then you should direct your ire to the OP who brought beckham into it in the first place

Thread could quite easily be started without bringing him into it

. Your comments about him living through it, so he doesn't get a say are disgusting.

Where did I say he doesn't get a say?

Ahhhh let’s focus on David Beckham throwing a paddy on a football field and getting slated in the press whilst sitting on a beach and getting the best treatment money could buy.

The point of his comment was that he DIDN'T get any help, because he didn't feel comfortable accessing it. Regardless of whether he could afford it. Your personal situation is clouding your judgment here.

Good post ponoka

This post just highlights how misunderstood MH actually is. People assume that because he is famous, seems to have everything that he should not complain and can’t possibly struggle. MH does not care what you do, how famous or rich you are or how confident or outspoken you are. It can cripple a person at any time and send that person into a deep and spiralling pit of despair. Only by people talking about it and being honest about the struggle they have faced will it help others realise that they are not alone and they can pull through it.
More people need to be honest about the struggles they face and just perhaps another person hearing about them and how they were overcome will then not make a horrible permanent decision over what could be a temporary low.

@MsEllany

I’m glad you posted this because I saw it on the news and was a bit bemused by it. I don’t remember the news from back then, but I’ve never been a football fan.

I do recall when Gareth Southgate missed the penalty in Euro 96 though

Yeah same. GS must've had it much worse. Although DB had the Rebecca Loos thing to didn't he.... probably didn't want to bring that up

@Ginpalacequeen

This post just highlights how misunderstood MH actually is. People assume that because he is famous, seems to have everything that he should not complain and can’t possibly struggle. MH does not care what you do, how famous or rich you are or how confident or outspoken you are. It can cripple a person at any time and send that person into a deep and spiralling pit of despair. Only by people talking about it and being honest about the struggle they have faced will it help others realise that they are not alone and they can pull through it. More people need to be honest about the struggles they face and just perhaps another person hearing about them and how they were overcome will then not make a horrible permanent decision over what could be a temporary low.

Yep

I am sorry Day but you are actually being nasty.

This post just highlights how misunderstood MH actually is
Yy. It reminds me of Kim Kardashian's recent statement about people paying lip service to caring about MH but then not understanding how it impacts families, how difficult it is to access support even if you have money but a reluctant patient, how people enable it. An American journalist has also just written an article about how public reactions to 'famous' people having MH issues needs a rethink. It's in the context of Kanye but the points are valid here too.
There shouldn't be any limit on compassion. Posters trying to make it a competition between rich and poor people; between famous people and ordinary people; well, you just fail everyone when you do that. Lots of people struggling with MH see their struggles reflected in the battles of famous people. Dismissing those struggles because they have money or fame, can feel like you're telling everyone with MH issues that they'll never meet the narrow and changing parameters that you define worthy of support and sympathy.

@AnneOfQueenSables

This post just highlights how misunderstood MH actually is Yy. It reminds me of Kim Kardashian's recent statement about people paying lip service to caring about MH but then not understanding how it impacts families, how difficult it is to access support even if you have money but a reluctant patient, how people enable it. An American journalist has also just written an article about how public reactions to 'famous' people having MH issues needs a rethink. It's in the context of Kanye but the points are valid here too. There shouldn't be any limit on compassion. Posters trying to make it a competition between rich and poor people; between famous people and ordinary people; well, you just fail everyone when you do that. Lots of people struggling with MH see their struggles reflected in the battles of famous people. Dismissing those struggles because they have money or fame, can feel like you're telling everyone with MH issues that they'll never meet the narrow and changing parameters that you define worthy of support and sympathy.

Yes. And that's horrible.

No one should feel like they can't talk about their issues because they have money, or don't.

Did someone really say they're tired of the D&D of Cambridge talking about MH? We want influencers to stop talking about MH? Finallly, evidence that Zoflora does damage MNers thinking

Don't be so dismissive of a woman's opinion by associating her thinking with a cleaning product.

I do get tired of Harry & Meghan going on about mental health issues. Harry had/has access to the best psychotherapy the world can offer but seems unable to cope with the stresses that come with his privileged life. It was uncomfortable watching him and Meghan have a whinge fest during their tour of poverty stricken Africa.

And Kate Middleton comes across as a woman who has a very strong sense of self and I'm sure it would be beneficial to learn how she maintains this. Healthy diet, exercise, sense of purpose, positive internal communication with herself.

And Kate Middleton comes across as a woman who has a very strong sense of self and I'm sure it would be beneficial to learn how she maintains this. Healthy diet, exercise, sense of purpose, positive internal communication with herself.

Yes I agree with this. Plus a very strong family on her side.

[quote maudavery]@TruffleShuffles I have not mentioned money. I mentioned "success" and you have conflated this with financial success not me. When I wrote that I was actually thinking of the fact that he has had a long marriage and seems to have done a decent job raising 4 kids. (Tabloid gossip re affairs notwithstanding- or perhaps that an example of VB's stoicism )

I haven't made any association between wealth and MH at all. All I am saying is that he went through a traumatic period, dealt that with it and was able to go on to live a happy life.

[/quote]
Alright then, ignore the money bit. Why do you think successful people can’t struggle with mental health or mention it? Why does the fact that, on the face of it he has a successful family life mean he should just ‘get on with it’ and not talk about his past struggles with mental health.

The abuse footballers get is extreme, DB was abused brutally for that sending off. It was insane. I go to football matches and hear the stuff fans say-they also go on SM saying similar and literally tear the players to pieces. I am no DB fan but any person speaking about mental health is doing the right thing. I am sure he went to hell and back with the stuff said about him in those days.

It's a big old tent though MH, and it's a wafer thin line between being in good and bad. I don't expect the high profile folk that are talking about it to pay for it themselves, that's as silly as posters at the start of the pandemic saying the RF should flog a few palaces to shore up the economy.

That said, the more it's talked about, the more open we are and understanding the more groundswell of change will happen. Probably too slowly for @DayB1Day, and you have my deepest sympathy for what your poor boy is suffering, but I can say the de-stigmatising is helping me get help.

It is true to say the help needs to be quicker, easier to access and in sufficient quantity. By talking about it more though we highlight that scandalous lack and can collectively do more through lobbying our government.

Don't be so dismissive of a woman's opinion by associating her thinking with a cleaning product.

Then she should consider more carefully what she is saying so as to be taken more seriously Officer Threadpolice.

@TruffleShuffles it's not that I think he shouldn't talk about it. It's more that he is saying 22 years ago he dealt with it himself, whereas now he would seek therapy and talk about it more openly, and the narrative is that the latter approach is much better but perhaps the way he dealt with it at the time was ok, given he went on to Be ok.

@PhilSwagielka yeah it's aimed at black and pacific islander players, occasionally white NZ born players like Anscombe and Hadleigh parkes

My godson is a huge Beckham fan! We got to get an autograph at one of his matches. Top bloke!

I suppose, somehow you have to find the strength to turn off social media or it will destroy you.