David Beckham and mental health.....am I missing something?

[maudavery]

This is what DB in convo with Prince William has said about talking about one's feelings:

I made a mistake in '98 [getting sent off against Argentina in the 1998 World Cup] and the reaction at the time was pretty brutal.
"If social media was around when I was going through that time, it would have been a whole different story. But I was lucky, I had a support system within Manchester United, the manager, and obviously family.
"But did I feel it was okay at the time to go to someone and say I need help? No, because it was a different era, and I just felt that I had to keep it all in and deal with it myself.

So he cocked up, took flak for it and then "had to deal with it himself", although he acknowledges he had a lot of support. Is this so bad? Isn't this just taking responsibility? Isn't there a lot to be said for this kind of stoicism? Whereas now everything pathologised and we need therapy for everything.

I take his point about social media and agree it can be poisonous especially for younger people but I don't really think his point about having to deal with things himself is so terrible.

Whereas now everything pathologised and we need therapy for everything.

Oh, grow up. This “people are snowflakes and no-one knows how to deal with ‘feeling sad’ these days” narrative is tiresome and ignorant.

Of course there were MH crisis after the wars. When young men had witnessed unspeakable atrocities and horrors.

Now very many young people very live cosseted, safe lives and yet MH issues are spiralling out of control. Why is this? I wonder about this a lot.

I'm not sure men who served in the trenches of the Somme would have that much sympathy for young people who are upset by social media trolls.

I think the issue is not talkign about mental health but the collapse of boundaries. When I was bullied at school pre social media, I could just go home and shut the door and feel safe. With all the communication methods we have it can be almost impossible to feel safe and away from damaging content without also massively disconnecting from the world

The newspapers had pictures of him being hung the day after, people put fake Beckhams on bonfires.

I can’t stand him and there’s things he’s recently done I think show he’s an arse but the press went for him after that game and the public followed.

Oh dear OP. You’re not coming across well at all.

Talking a lot about MH doesn't mean there is a lot of support available. And, if we take DB as an example. He has disclosed that he struggled and your response to that disclosure OP was to post on MN about how he should have been more resilient, how it was just a bit of 'flack' (rather than nationwide abuse and bullying).
You've also slipped into 'these are worthy MH crises - William and Harry - and these are ones where people should just get on with it - David Beckham.
Your posts and your need to make this thread proves how far we still have to go. We're not even at a place where people can talk about MH without attracting criticism like your's. Never mind reaching a place where people can talk, be believed and receive support.

I'm not sure men who served in the trenches of the Somme would have that much sympathy for young people who are upset by social media trolls.

You have not experienced either, so how would you know? I experienced a mental health breakdown after a pretty minor problem compared to the Somme. It didn’t mean I didn’t need help though.

@DrowsyDragon How does one 'look Welsh'? Let me guess, that's aimed at black players? I'm not into rugby but I see that crap in football fandom all the time as well. Calling black players gorillas and that sort of thing, or complaining that there are black players in the England team.

Mental illness is not a new thing. It's just that in the olden days, it was seen as something shameful and you were more likely to just get shoved into an institution. I mean, it runs in my mum's family, my grandad was severely mentally ill and had a history of suicide attempts. And this was back in the '50s-'60s.

I agree @DayB1Day it trivialises the experiences of others.

Also, good to know that you're not allowed to have MH issues unless you've fought in a war. Thanks for that, OP. Like I said: if I hadn't had therapy or meds, I would be dead, or at the very least, incapable of functioning or holding down a job. I TRIED being stoic. It DID NOT WORK.

@DayB1Day I'm sorry to hear that, MH care in this country is dreadful. It took me two years to get seen and even then it was only because I phoned up to chase my referral.

@Notverybright

That’s awful Rufus I must admit our gp’s office is much better than most.

I think it must vary

To be honest the GP we spoke to was awesome

But her hands were tied with provision, we paid a shedload for therapy which made a big difference but I appreciate how very very lucky we were to be able to afford it

@noColinleftbehind

I remember the fall out from his sending off - the press were vile and irresponsible in their reactions and some of the public went bonkers . It's to DB's credit that he turned things around and became such a respected sportsman. I do get fed up of William, Kate, Harry and Meghsn carping on about mental health.

I think the best thing the younger royals have done is to "carp on about mental health."

Would you rather they said nothing about it?

@maudavery

I know it was brutal and unwarranted. But he got through it and is now happy and successful no?

We are in a mental health crisis are we not? And yet we have never talked about mental health more. So it doesn't seem to be helping all that much. Maybe stoicism and resilience could be a part of a different approach, is all I am saying.

I’m confused as to why you are associating good mental health with success and money. Do you think that rich people can’t struggle with their mental health? Or that they should just get on with it if they are struggling?

@PhilSwagielka I didn't say that. Another poster brought up the world wars and I responded that MH crises in response to witnessing such atrocities is easily explained. What is less easily explained is why in a time of relative of peace and prosperity we are seeing such huge levels of MH problems amongst our young people. There must be something as a society we are getting wrong in our approach.

It concerns me as I care deeply about young people and their MH but I sometimes wonder if we are fostering a kind of learned helplessness, especially amongst young people. I am very sympathetic to whose with MH problems and I am sorry if that hasn't come across, but what I am questioning is our approach.

@DayB1Day

A millionaire getting the best support money can buy whilst being slated in the media for his actions is nothing compared to what my son and others like him go through in life which seems to warrant zero support and an agonising wait. It doesn’t even compare.

Money are not always the solution. There are millionaire celebrities who even with all that money did end up committing suicide. A lot of them in fact.

I am sorry for what your son is going through but you are being unfair here.

@TruffleShuffles I have not mentioned money. I mentioned "success" and you have conflated this with financial success not me. When I wrote that I was actually thinking of the fact that he has had a long marriage and seems to have done a decent job raising 4 kids. (Tabloid gossip re affairs notwithstanding- or perhaps that an example of VB's stoicism )

I haven't made any association between wealth and MH at all. All I am saying is that he went through a traumatic period, dealt that with it and was able to go on to live a happy life.

Yabu.

So he cocked up, took flak for it and then "had to deal with it himself", although he acknowledges he had a lot of support. Is this so bad? Isn't this just taking responsibility? Isn't there a lot to be said for this kind of stoicism?

You are minimising what happened to him. I was only 10 and I vividly remember the pure vitriol spewed at Beckham, the front pages with effigies hanging of him. He was the target of mobs who vilified him over a fucking game (and I'm a football fan so I get the prestige of the World Cup)

He was subject to headlines like that ^; he was sent bullets with his name carved into him, hundreds of thousands of hate letters were sent to Carrington for him, stalkers followed him around, people threatened to kill his son, people tried to break into his house etc

How many people in their 20s could cope with that? And why should they have to? At least he didnt have to worry about SM making him immediately available to anyone who wanted to vent hate and threats. All you have to do is go on some football players' SM to see that threats, hate and racism are still rife now.

I'm not sure men who served in the trenches of the Somme would have that much sympathy for young people who are upset by social media trolls.

I recently had a case where an entire family's MH problems could be traced back to the damage done to a soldier in WWI. 100years of addiction, depression, anxiety, abandonment and attachment problems. Fascinating but very sad.

Just had a quick look to remind myself... the image of the hanging Beckham effigy is really pretty horrific...

Front Page of Daily Mail/ full 1 page story with Beckham photo and headline: "Moment of Lunacy that cost cup hopes"

The Sun front page "10 Heroic Lions... 1 Stupid Boy" and picture of

The Mirror "Still bitter? Take Your Fury out with our David Beckham Dartboard"