David Beckham and mental health.....am I missing something?

[maudavery]

This is what DB in convo with Prince William has said about talking about one's feelings:

I made a mistake in '98 [getting sent off against Argentina in the 1998 World Cup] and the reaction at the time was pretty brutal.
"If social media was around when I was going through that time, it would have been a whole different story. But I was lucky, I had a support system within Manchester United, the manager, and obviously family.
"But did I feel it was okay at the time to go to someone and say I need help? No, because it was a different era, and I just felt that I had to keep it all in and deal with it myself.

So he cocked up, took flak for it and then "had to deal with it himself", although he acknowledges he had a lot of support. Is this so bad? Isn't this just taking responsibility? Isn't there a lot to be said for this kind of stoicism? Whereas now everything pathologised and we need therapy for everything.

I take his point about social media and agree it can be poisonous especially for younger people but I don't really think his point about having to deal with things himself is so terrible.

He was, at the time 23, the great hope and afterwards the response was unbelievably violent and went on long after the tournament had ended. SM would have literally melted with vitriol.

DB still has a lot of sways as an influencer of men. Thats why he gets asked to contribute to these discussions, even though a lot of MN chose to dismiss him.

Did someone really say they're tired of the D&D of Cambridge talking about MH? We want influencers to stop talking about MH? Finallly, evidence that Zoflora does damage MNers thinking.

I wonder what the reaction would have been if DB had committed suicide over the response he received. Would the same people who are now accusing him of attention seeking be trotting out the “be kind” mantra instead?

And if Caroline Flack hadn’t committed suicide and instead talked about her difficulties, I suspect the “be kind” brigade would still be heaping their vitriol on to her....

Are only the openly mentally ill and women allowed to speak about mental health?

What Caroline Flack was alleged to have done was far worse than what DB did. Neither of them deserved the kind of response they received, but because she committed suicide the sympathy came out, and when Beckham admitted to his struggles he is accused of attention seeking.

It’s not hard to see why male suicide rates are so high.

I’m amazed that anyone feels that William and Harry shouldn’t talk about mental health. Yes they have had vast financial privileges, but remember they lost their mum in a horrific way as young children. No amount of money would have compensated me for that.

’We want influencers to stop talking about MH? Finallly, evidence that Zoflora does damage MNers thinking.‘

I just had a middle-aged-moment and thought, why, what has she said about mental health? Zo flora. Not Zoella. Need more caffeine.

That’s great heartsonacake that’s a massive accomplishment and it’s great that you got that help and that you we’re able to change your life like that.

This from the man who, along with his family, flaunt every single aspect of their lives on social media.

There's a huge difference between promoting your brand online and using social media to target and abuse people directly though.

I am no football fan but I remember he was crucified in the press back then.

@Notverybright

That’s great heartsonacake that’s a massive accomplishment and it’s great that you got that help and that you we’re able to change your life like that.

Notverybright Thank you. It was exceptionally hard and took a lot of work that I really didn’t want to do but knew I had to to get better.

It’s just a shame that it’s not the same situation across the country.

@FreakStar I agree with what you say about MH in schools. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

It gets worse when students go to university and become embroiled with the whole "safe space" thing and demand to feel"safe" all the time which seems to mean never ever feeling upset or disappointed or challenged or basically ever feeling any negative emotion. This imo exacerbates MH issues further down the line.

I take peoples points about awareness raising and DB and PW being in a position to do this, but some of it sometimes
Rings hollow to me, although I am obviously v sympathetic to what PW and PH went through.

I saw a cyclist on tv once. She said she had been feeling down and was potential suicidal. She realised there was a problem and rung the British cycling psychiatrist and spoke with him. And then went surfing in Fiji for a month(or similar)
While I applauded her openness about MH and the importance of getting help it seemed a world away from joe public who wouldnt have a known dr on speed dial on their phone or the ability(financially or practically) to "get away" on a whim.
I was actually frustrated that they didnt translate in to relatable ways "normal" people could seek help in similar circs. (Eg helplines, booking apt with dr, exercise, "me time" relaxation etc)

I remember the incident well. He was taken to pieces - like he says, thankfully there was no social media around but I can imagine what it would have been like. He was abused at every football ground from there onwards, death threats to his family. It was absolutely hideous.

So are people only entitled to mental health issues if they are working class?

Do people really believe that money can buy anything? And that money is the only thing you need to not have MH issues?

I remember the story at the time, and thought, blimey can’t believe that hatred he’s getting! The public were burning effigies of him: I remember one that had a noose around its neck strung from a lamppost or something. It was awful. He went to America to see Posh - the press followed and hounded them ... headlines saying, ‘Oh look, he messed it all up for us and look at him swanning off on holiday with his popstar girlfriend’. She was pregnant at the time with Brooklyn, before it was public knowledge.The press were all over the pair of them, following them wherever they went and revving up the vitriol. Don’t particularly like him, but it was really awful at the time and had social media being a thing then, can you imagine the amount of hate he would have received?

My last engagement with the MH crisis team resulted in a referral for CBT. The waiting list was 9 months. The only other thing they could offer was to increase my script for ADs and tranquilisers.

I ended up paying for private EMDR which was a game-changer. But I was really lucky to be in a position where I could afford to do so.

I'm not really following what your point is OP have to say.

so I will just echo what others have said and repeat how awful the backlash against Beckham was. absolutely shameful in fact

I know it was brutal and unwarranted. But he got through it and is now happy and successful no?

We are in a mental health crisis are we not? And yet we have never talked about mental health more. So it doesn't seem to be helping all that much. Maybe stoicism and resilience could be a part of a different approach, is all I am saying.

Also people said horrible things about VB. It was crazy. A reminder of how revolting the press are, yet they have the temerity to have a go at social media.

my son (who is 19) has mental health problems. He has attempted suicide. He's on regular medication, prescribed by a psychiatrist, that helps but it doesn't make it go away.

He has to go to the GP every month to get another prescription. Most of the GPs in our practice are great. But last month he went, and a male GP said 'you don't need this medication, there's nothing wrong with you, look at you, you're fine!'.

luckily ds was feeling strong that day, so he lifted up his shirt and showed him all his self harming and suicide scars and the GP reluctantly gave him the scrip.

this is a fucking GP in a GP practice! if you imagine that's the sort of thing Joe public have to deal with! what hope does he have out there in the world if our medical professionals can't even help

and we wonder why male suicide is so high!

the more men talk about mental health struggles/suicide, the better in my eyes. I just wish they would talk more :). And yes high profile people talking about their struggles helps - admittedly they have more access to help than the minions, but at least it's an acknowledgement of struggles!

Do you think mental health crises are new, OP?

What do you imagine it was like after WW1 and WW2, for example?

@PhilSwagielka I'm a rugby fan so the money isn't quite the same but the CRAP directed at players like North, Anscombe, Cuthbert just makes me ashamed. And plenty of 'you don't look welsh' for players who aren't welsh or qualify through residency. it's toxic. And obviously in Wales we had Gary Speed's tragic death. I just don't tweet when I think my team played badly. I'm sure they know, they don;t need one more voice shouting at them. Veyr much only comment if you;ve got nice things to say on social media.

That's right OP. We've talked about it a bit, it hasn't worked, so the next best advice is to man up and run it off.

I am absolutely the last person you would think needed counselling. I would have agreed with that myself 4 months ago. I am falling apart and waiting for an MH referral as I type. If I could shrug this off with resilience alone I bloody would. Turns out, it's a wee bit more complex than that.

Walk a mile and all that.