Can a man really love his step children as his own?

[luckoftheirish92]

Hi everyone. I have 2 children, 8 and 5 years old. DH has been in their lives since they were 4 and 1. They have no contact with their biological father. I am currently pregnant with my third and his first and I am wondering if his bond will change with my other two children when baby comes along. DH tells me that he loves my children as if they were his own, that they are his kids. He has been there through illness, taught them to ride bikes, wiped away tears and had tears of joy at nativity plays. I love him and love our family and that won't change, but wondering if others have been in a similar situation. Do men really love their step children as their own?

I have a couple of friends who's husbands clearly love their DC as their own. In both cases, the biological father is out of the picture and the step Dad has been in the children's lives since a young age. I think it's harder to take on older children, but it's still possible a man can form a close bond and love his step children. I believe the same is probably true for step mothers and step DC.

@HookShot thanks for getting back to me. Haha she must be a human duracell. And hats off to her for not going through the misandry stage I did when abandoned in pregnancy. I would've rather wiccamanned than tindered.
That's lovely that the stepdad has such a great relationship with the boys still.

@Libmama I wasn't going to post until I saw your post. This happened with my "DH" - who is more than likely going to become an ex H in the near future.

He was full of seemingly gushing love for my DD, who was 11 months old when we met. Her bio dad was never in the picture. We even changed my DDs surname to match his after we'd been together for years.

Then we had a DD together. The change within their relationship wasn't instantaneous but he was possessive of our new born DD and didn't want me to do anything with her. I'm sure now that he only got into a relationship with me because he'd already seen what a great kid DD1 was and thought I'd be good Mum material.

Anyway, flashforward to DD1 being 8 and their relationship is awkward. He's less tolerant of bad behaviour. He's not as lovey with her. Quite honestly, it's made me dislike him a lot. Sometimes I even hate him.

I think that most people are absolutely capable of loving non bio kids equally but maybe it's best to reserve a corner in your mind that's prepared for change - some might think that's cynical but I never thought in a million years my "DH" would be like that.

Gosh! That was a long post! Sorry!

My FiL is not my DH’s biological father. He came along when DH was around two years old and had more children with MiL. DH has always called him dad. There hasn’t been a single minute where DH has ever felt ‘less than’ his siblings. All of them were loved and treated exactly the same, whether they’d done something worth rewarding or they were being absolutely horrible (they all had their moments, apparently).

He has been a truly wonderful dad to all of them and I have so much respect for him. He may not be DH’s father but he is most definitely DH’s dad. He’s a good man.