AIBU to think it’s not me who’s ‘odd’

[NotOdd]

Apparently (according to bf) I’m odd, out of touch and not like “most people” because I think Sunday roast lunch as a regular standard default family event is normal and that about now is the time to start firming up Christmas plans in terms of guests etc.

Bf says he knows no one who regularly has a Sunday roast lunch or anyone who thinks about Christmas “this early”. He thinks this is because I come from a “backward” part of the country 🙄

I am genuinely confused because literally everyone I know (bf and his family aside) would have a roast Sunday lunch (not set in stone, other things may happen instead ie days out, bbq in the summer etc) and everyone I know either has, or nearly has, their Christmas plans settled. When I say ‘everyone’ I mean my whole family, my EXH whole family (going by knowing them for 20 years) and all my friends.

AIBU for thinking it’s not me who’s the ‘odd’ one?

We have a regular Sunday roast, especially in the Winter. We have got them down to a fine art so can still go out for the day and do other things. In the summer less so but will have a BBQ.

I love Christmas so I'm thinking about it a bit. People plan holidays months in advance, why not Christmas? There is a group on here who just do Christmas planning all year and love it.

We are all different, not odd at all ! So just do your thing and ignore him.

If we aren’t doing anything on a Sunday we have a roast.
Your not that odd, there’s a reason Toby’s is rammed on a Sunday and not Saturday.

I have bought and stashed Christmas presents in sales.

Sunday dinner here can move around to lunch or tea time depending on what our plans are.

Though as kids have go older Sundays have become more homework days or kids activity days than possible days out - so it works out well for us. DH often cooks it around DIY and extra work - emails/marking for his job or around one of his home based hobbies.

Any left overs work for light tea if it was lunch or next days packed lunches. Often due to commutes and other things meals aren't always eaten togther at table so it's nice to do that once a week when we can.

They can also morph into BBQ in summer instead - or if we are feeling flush occaional carvery/meal out.

As for the Sunday lunch, sorry but to me people who always have a ‘roast’ on Sunday, to me, have always been lower-class/‘chavvy’ (sorry to use that term)

You aren't sorry to use that term otherwise you wouldn't have said it. Disgusting comment and attitude.

I much rather be considered 'lower-class' than a raging snob.

We quite often have a roast on a Sunday but not at lunch time. Always in the evening. Or something like steak or lasagna.

Haven’t thought about Christmas yet. Last couple of years has been just dh, DS and I. Family came to stay for New Year. This year might be the same but no idea yet.

We have roast dinners most Sundays, and I mentioned to dh the other day that we need to start thinking about Christmas as it's almost August, only leave 4 months to plan, and start buying the gifts and foods and stuff. (Also have 3 October birthdays including ds , and dd in December too so we have to start early)

I wouldn't go as far as to say you were odd, but we definitely don't have roast dinners here every Sunday. We don't really have one at all from May to September as we go out all day. We do usually have a full english breakfast on Sunday morning though.
I can't think about Christmas until the summer is over. We don't tend to visit anyone though and people don't come to visit us. It's me, the OH and the kids on Christmas day and then we'll visit my mum on boxing day for dinner. So there isn't much planning required!

Yeah, Sunday roast (at lunch time) does say 'traditional family values' to me - by which I mean sexist values.

The strongest association I have for the 'roast every Sunday' tradition, is some late family grandparents (they'd be 100 now). Every Sunday the wife spent all morning in the kitchen. The husband went to the pub for an hour (taking any adult male visitors and a rare, privileged, woman) for a pre-lunch pint with his mates. After lunch, the man chatted to guests and dozed off, while the woman (and visiting women and children) cleared up.

They were lovely people, apparently contented with their lot and it was a charming, companiable experience.

One I want for myself though? No way. I'd rather be out in the hills with some sandwiches. Or doing our usual quick soup and sandwich family lunch before and/or after some fun family activity. Either way, substantial, companiable dinner is in the evening, once the fun is done, not clogging up the middle of the day, like a relic of a post-church, no fun on Sundays, at home with family only past.

Having said that, the other people I knew who did roast Sunday lunch religiously, were a family with kids my age (I'm over 40 now, so in the 1980-90s), where the dad cooked and insisted on it as the one time of the week when everyone would eat together, no matter what. Teenagers dragged themselves out of their hungover beds for it and I think it did serve a really valuable purpose within that family.

We have Sunday lunch pretty much every week at my mums. My brother, sister and their families come too. My parents are shielding now but pre-COVID it would be 95% of Sunday’s. We don’t always have a roast though, we have a different theme every week and all bring a dish.

We've planned where we're going at Christmas as we are travelling to family and needed to sort accommodation (fingers crossed) although I won't start thinking about presents etc until October/November.

As a child we had a roast every Sunday without fail. Now, we don't often have one in the summer (more likely barbecue) but usually do in the winter - it fits our lifestyle to do rugby with the dcs in the morning then come home and cook. We're not tied to it but I quite like the ritual of a big family meal with crumble and custard for pudding.

So no, I don't think you're odd, just quite traditional I suppose.

Northerner here, Sunday roast or at least some kind of gravy meal is standard in my household.

Due to Covid and a probable second spike I won't be making any arrangements for Xmas till December though.

I wouldn't say it's a 'lower class ' thing at all! I've got a few friends who are a bit ' snobby' ( by their own admission too ) and they love to cook a proper roast with all the trimmings for the family who actually ask them to cook it as they like having a family meal and time together to chat and eat.
I think it's nice.
When I do bother to cook one and take time over it the family really appreciate the effort (but it is rare these days I must admit as I'm not that keen on cooking ! )
Christmas dinner is but a 'posh roast ' and the majority of people have one that day whatever 'class ' they are!

Sunday roast - Not every week, I don't like being chained to a routine that much.

Christmas - planned it last week but that's because travel and booking accommodation are involved.

Christmas??

Not usual in my circles. Sorry! I almost never cook a Sunday lunch in the middle of the day. Only very occasionally when have people round. And I'm almost as likely to roast a chicken for us mid-week as on a Sunday. I know a small number of people who seems to have a Sunday roast lunch more often than we do, but not every week, no.

And I haven't heard anyone talk about Christmas plans yet. It's July!! Though to be fair ours don't change much from year to year so I'm fairly sure what we will do in broad terms. Rude to describe it as "backward" though.

Shift worker so I already know I'm working all over Christmas 😔. If I wasnt working all I would know is that I would be with my 2 children. I wouldnt make plans with anyone else this early.
I make a roast when I feel like it not on a specific day. I wouldnt like it. I think its very old fashioned to have the same meal on the same day. There is so much more variety now.

We have a sunday roast when i can be bothered or if we are visiting family. Probably once a month.

Christmas, our plans have been the same since I was 3 years old, I'm 31 and it doesn't appear to be changing yet despite having children of my own, DH has slipped into our Christmas as his own family celebrate on Christmas eve which is great for us. Only difference is that despite it being in my grandparents home, me and DM cook as DNan can no longer do it. They have the biggest house though and want us all to be together, so we are.

I have a regular Sunday roast but it's way too early to be thinking about Christmas!

I love a roast dinner but we are more likely to have one midweek when there is more time (weekends we tend to be very busy). When I was small we only had a roast if we had visitors or were visiting grandparents.

I will start thinking about Christmas in October....

This year is the first year I have thought about Christmas! Lost my jobs so bought most of DS presents already so he can have a Christmas hopefully I’ll have another job by then though! On usual years maybe a tad early! I usually think about Christmas September/October

Loads of you seem to have plans for Christmas but aren't you worried we won't be able to meet up with family? We spend it with my family and that is 16 people from 9 different households. I will be very surprised if the rules are relaxed that much.

DM is all that's left so she rotates around our houses in three different countries usually. I don't know how that will work out this year, but with a bit of juggling, I think my brother would be the best bet if Covid rages on because as he's got a shielding child, if it gets bad, they'll cocoon, so if DM does also, they could potentially join households safely. If I'm still WFH at that point then she's also likely safe enough to come to me.
Not seeing the rest of them I'd get by with zoom calls as they all have their own families, it's only DM that I'd worry about as she lives alone.

I don't think you're odd at all, i would say we have a Sunday roast most weeks and that is mostly driven by me as that's how i grew up and my Husband is on board with it but sometimes its an evening meal rather than lunch if we have things to do, If we are at my parents its at 1pm every week and that is how it has always been.

As for Christmas, I think whatever makes you happy you should go for! I love Christmas but don't plan it yet-However we spend it with my parents as I'm an only child so there's not much to plan really! I leave the outlaws to my husband to plan things with. Once we have children etc i think it'll be much different. You do whats right for you though! you're not odd at all.

Sunday roast is a winter thing only here. It’s usually chicken which is quicker and not many sides again for ease. Dh does it all and It’s at dinner time as we all do outdoorsy things in the daytime.

Christmas we think about in around October.

I agree with you op, but it's just how people are. My family book Xmas dinner out so we often plan this time of year so we get the place we want to eat and who's going. Deposits and stuff.

People are different, and do different things. That's normal.

What's not normal is your bf saying your backwards. Dump it

We have a nice dinner on a Sunday, not a roast as we all veggie.
Christmas, bloody hell, it's July !maybe November I'll speak to Mum and organise something, but particularly this year I'm taking each day as it comes.