AIBU to think it’s not me who’s ‘odd’

[NotOdd]

Apparently (according to bf) I’m odd, out of touch and not like “most people” because I think Sunday roast lunch as a regular standard default family event is normal and that about now is the time to start firming up Christmas plans in terms of guests etc.

Bf says he knows no one who regularly has a Sunday roast lunch or anyone who thinks about Christmas “this early”. He thinks this is because I come from a “backward” part of the country 🙄

I am genuinely confused because literally everyone I know (bf and his family aside) would have a roast Sunday lunch (not set in stone, other things may happen instead ie days out, bbq in the summer etc) and everyone I know either has, or nearly has, their Christmas plans settled. When I say ‘everyone’ I mean my whole family, my EXH whole family (going by knowing them for 20 years) and all my friends.

AIBU for thinking it’s not me who’s the ‘odd’ one?

I don’t think about Christmas until December. There are several family birthdays before that to think about.

We rarely have a Sunday roast, maybe once every couple of months. I don’t want my whole Sunday planned around a dinner, that just seems odd. We might sometimes go round the in laws for dinner. I don’t like the expectation of the whole family having to meet up for dinner, I wouldn’t want to do that every weekend and be tied to it. Think I’d be bored of it if I had to do it every Sunday.

We always know roughly what's happening as we alternate Christmas with my parents and in laws. Whoever isn't seen on the day is seen shortly before or after. We don't tend to plan much else around that time as its nice to have cosy days at home, so there aren't any big discussions about that.

We don't do a regular Sunday roast but maybe have one once or twice a month, if we feel like it, just us and the DCs. Neither my parents nor in laws live close enough to pop round for lunch. I wouldn't want to do it every week anyway. Sometimes we have a day out on a Sunday, or see friends, or have a pub lunch.

Some families have Sunday lunch set in stone but I think it takes the fun out of it if you do it every week. In fact tomorrow I'm cooking roast chicken for the 4 of us because we like it, and why not have it mid week?

Can't remember the last Sunday roast I had and we almost never have them during summer months, for obvious reasons. If we aren't seeing anyone we don't make Sunday's particularly special either.

Christmas? Definitely not doing any planning for months. My adult children would think I'd gone mad if I asked them what they wanted to do this Christmas. We are quite laid back as a family though.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Very insightful.

The concept of me being a chav and bf being a sophisticated ‘hip’ thing is quite comical. I’m fairly sure he’d think so too. Our different social backgrounds can sometimes become apparent, but not in that way.

He’s also an incredibly lovely man.

To be clear, when I say ‘family’ I mean me and my kids. And lunch could become an early dinner if we wanted to do something in the day. And also doesn’t necessarily require all the trimmings. I don’t have any family near me any more so I can’t invite them round but when I did it once every few weeks someone might join us. I used to love that.

We had roasts on a Sunday (dinner time usually) faithfully when I was a kid. Probably because we never did anything else. Sunday was my mum’s rest day.

I get that I’m what someone referred to as a “dying breed”. My mum isn’t alive anymore so I guess it’s my way of trying to emulate a family environment that’s just not there anymore 😔. It’s my comfort blanket and really no one else is that bothered. Maybe I need to let it go.

As for Christmas, my family, my closest friends and my not so close friend tend to have larger families or families dotted all over the place so general plans about who’s going where are made around now. Obvs things may be different this year.

As for the Sunday lunch, sorry but to me people who always have a ‘roast’ on Sunday, to me, have always been lower-class/‘chavvy’ (sorry to use that term)

This comment just marks you out as both incredibly chavvy and a raging snob. Not a winning combination. Hint: if you want to appear classy its best not to make crashingly snobbish remarks. Anyone with any real class would die rather than do that.

I don't have roasts routinely but do them every few weeks as a treat so YANBU on that front.

But planning Christmas in July, nah. Life's too short.

Nope on both accounts here. Don't have regular roasts (too expensive and we go out lots on a Sunday) and won't even consider Christmas until December

jessstan2 doesnt a roast kind of say 'traditional family values' to some people? isnt that why maybe ops dp had the issue in the first place, not really to do with class, though posts re the cost are very valid. i suppose it says at the very least you have cooking skills and some means, a table to eat it at and enough people willing to be there at the same time

My family start discussing who is going where at Christmas in September and I like to start looking for somewhere nice to go for lunch and read the menus.
My OH won't even consider thinking about it until December when all the good places are fully booked. Drives me crackers!

We have a Sunday roast most Sundays, but in the evening as no one is about for lunch lunch, and I am not getting up early to start cooking in the wee hours (though walking the dog around 11am on a Sunday with all the cooking smells takes me right back to childhood and going to my nans)

I have also been thinking a tiny bit, in passing, about Christmas, but not to the point of arranging who is coming etc. That doesn't happen until late November time.

i didnt mean that people without those things dont have values before i get flamed!!!

@stovetopespresso that’s a very valid point I’d not thought of.

Sunday lunch isn’t a thing here and nor is it with my folks or in laws.

Christmas arrangements as in who’s going where - October. Shopping - nov & dec.

I would feel like Sunday was a write off if I had to plan every one around Sunday lunch and/or seeing people.

The see all op posts feature had really come into its own on this thread.

If roasts are seen as a bit ' chavvy ' ( complete nonsense) why are all the country pubs usually booked up for Sunday lunch ? ( well , they always were before lockdown anyway!)
I admit that the Toby carveries can be a bit hit and miss at times with their food , but they are also always full up and popular with all kinds of people! They must have lost thousands over lockdown.

A bit early to be organising Christmas now, I would be doing it around October.

I grew up with a Sunday roast dinner every Sunday, it was standard in my day but I'm approaching my pension. Yes, it was 'normal' in those days and my generation would still think so but today's more modern, younger families wouldn't. However, a Sunday roast is still special, many pubs and restaurants still do it and many residential homes (eg. boarding schools, care homes) do the standard Sunday roast thing too, so not exactly unusual either.....

As long as you’re only doing it because it’s nice and not to try and always get your way by getting in first, then knock yourself out. I wouldn’t clean old but I also don’t think that either of those things are ‘a thing’, if you see what I mean.

Clean old?? Call you odd!

If you want to make plans in July for Christmas you need to get a life

I’m same as you OP, Sunday lunch most weeks (like you will change for bbqs etc but Sunday lunch if weathers a bit pants or cooler). Christmas is also sorted- we like to arrange it early due to a big family so organising who is going where is sensible imo

My family are quite traditional OP and when I lived at home it was a roast every Sunday, whether home cooked or country pub. I live with DP now and we never cook one but go out now and then for a roast in a country pub and combine it with a walk in the nearby woodland. It’s a nice treat but I don’t know many people who do it every Sunday (apart from my parents - and my Mum makes THE best honey toasted parsnips!)

Usually we start thinking about logistics around September (big family) but with COVID not sure what’s going on with numbers, people being all around the country... we are thinking already about buying presents though OP just in case

Like others, we had home made soup and Sunday roast every week (Beef/lamb/pork) and roast chicken every Sat night and Fish on a Friday. The fish thing was a hangover from previous times (man was Irish Catholic). My main concern is how she slaved in the kitchen constantly (there were 5 of us kids). We had a very happy home but it seemed ingrained in both my parents that she was in charge of the kitchen and entertaining for family who came regularly too. She never complained, just saw it as her role, I suppose. There was definitely a huge amount of working class pride in the providing of 'good food' and 'keeping' a family well (clean clothes/ shined shoes/ shiny hair/ Sunday best clothes).

I think things have changed massively. We have roast now and again but more likely to be stir fry/ chilli/ fajitas etc. It's quicker, we share the cooking and will often be out and about.

I don’t rate a roast dinner. I would rather have paella or tagine on a Sunday, but each to their own.
As for Christmas.....that’s in December. Isn’t it?

@NotOdd
I like a Sunday roast, probably have them less often than I used to, but meal planning is easy Sunday = Roast
sometimes we have family, over sometimes not.
And I have sorted my plans for Xmas already yes.
Totally not abnormal in anyway.

I have to think about xmas ahead of time because it's abroad with limited flights that sell out, and even then I've got another month or so before I need to worry.

Sunday lunch every week - what a pain in the arse that sounds. We did it when I was a kid and it contributed to sunday being the most boring day of the week, wouldn't dream of it now.

Christmas? Goodness no. There are several major events between now and then to think about first. I don't know anyone who has a family Sunday roast every week. Personally we have a roast around once a month on a Tuesday, the weekends are our chats be out and about.